Category Archives: broccoli

Mayo Fondled Broccoli: Caveman Friendly

 

Make a Tree.jpg

My mouth has been captured by the earth’s intimacy.

The way two flavors get to know each other, with no third wheel to roll the flavor away, is like an earthgasm into mouth heaven.

I love how the mouth gets to fondle and understand each flavor, and know how the combinations either go together or fail together.

Your mouth feels like the knowledge savant of food. Careful though, you might start wearing a chef’s hat everywhere.

 

It turns out that cold broccoli and cold mayo combined does not give you the fullest flavor of this earthy combination.  My mouth went…almost love, almost. Cold takes earthy and tries to make it …airy? I don’t know. Something is just wrong with it.

Maybe for a summer fresh flavor, but right now the weather still fills the cold role for our bodies. As such, fire must grasp our food and bring out the deep flavor lying in the roots of our vegetables, the fats of our meats and the pulps of our fruit. For now, stifle your fresh broccoli memories.

But then, oh but then, if you let a cast iron lick its flames into that tiny green tree, you get to know the combination of egg and oil turned into a silky and fluffy mouthgasm of deep pleasure entering a deep, earthy crunch.

Make room for delicious new memories to store themselves inside you. Just a couple of paths need forged from broccoli to flame and from there to mayo. You’ll never regret this connection. If you do then my apologies, I’ll find a path for your taste buds delight soon.

Maybe.

Lately I’ve been taking grapefruit slices and rustling the flames into their pulp to add a deep and charred taste to my favorite fruit. Somehow the heat both brightens and deepens the taste, while pushing the bitter out.

Grapefruit is also lower in carbhood, so I can get in four slices without knocking my body out of ketosis, and oh how it loves being in ketosis. 

I should try cast iron lemon slices soon…maybe drizzled in vanilla coconut butter.

Do keep these fruits in their skin. It pushes all the flavor deep inside.

Now then, on this broccoli grasped in fire and loved in mayo. In summer you crave that bright and burst flavor in your food. Your mouth goes bliss for basil and you put cilantro on everything Mexican.

None of that sounds delicious in your imagination right now because fresh is not what your body wants. What you get instead is the primal caveside of your soul telling you it is time for earth’s deep flavors. Your body is telling you to put cast iron broccoli and mayo inside it.

I used payo, a paleo mayonaise that uses macadamia oil. Macadamia gives an earthy touch to the mayonaise that I love, but it was megaweird at first. Only because I’d never known it before. Talk about mouth confusion. Within days it accepted the flavor and now I think it is going to be my go to mayo. You can easily make your own mayo, and I suggest doing so at least once to feel the power. So fresh and so easy. Currently I don’t have a jar that fits my immersion blender though so it’s annoying and I get less fluff and more…opposite of fluff.

 

I should find a bigger jar.

Mayo Fondled Broccoli:

A Low Carb and Paleo Snack

 

Broccoli

Ingredients:

Tablespoon of Coconut Oil

Broccoli

Mayo (I used Payo)

Dash of Salt

Directions:

  1. Turn your flames or burner to medium heat and add a tablespoon of coconut oil to the iron.
  2. Lay the broccoli in the coconut oil and allow the oil to heat the broccoli for about a minute and a half. Then flip the broccoli and add a dash of salt. Allow it to heat through for about a minute. Use your hands. If it is too hot to touch then flip or remove from the pan. You want it just hot enough that you can still hold it without there being any cold left in the stem.
  3. Fondle the broccoli with about a teaspoon of payo per tree and increase per mouth desires.

Broccoli Candle

 

Caveman Alternative:

  1. Scrape energy together into fire
  2. Use a knife or your teeth and  create a sharp point to a stick
  3. Stab broccoli through the stem until it is firmly on the stick
  4. Slowly turn the broccoli while counting down from sixty three times in your head
  5. Remove from flame and add salt
  6. Have cavewife find and egg and oil.
  7. Find a cup, put in the egg and oil, cover and shake vigorously, or put the egg and oil in your mouth and vigorously shake your mouth around.
  8. Put the broccoli in your mouth or dip it in the cup.
  9. Feed each other or just yourself.
Advertisements

Simple Baked Egg and Broccoli

Oh the beautiful beautiful egg. Somehow even it was demonized in the so called health movement of America. We tossed it in the trash we did. Just the yellow though, we kept the white. Sigh. We are so racist.

Eggs hold a vital nutrient for your sprog. B12 is essential for brain functioning and boosts cognition as well as memory. We want as many of these things inside us as possible.

Now broccoli is another gorgeous story for our bodies and minds. Have you heard about the recent scare of not getting enough vitamin D in our days? Apparently we are not out in the sun enough. This deficiency can lead to depression.

On the days I felt moped out I would just go sit clothless in the sun and soak it in. After about thirty minutes there was definitely more sprite to my thoughts. Broccoli is soaked in vitamin D and completely ready for you. In a super simple recipe no less. If you have a mini casserole dish.

First of all you’ll need to bake some eggs. If you go ahead and bake twelve as well as get a large hunk of broccoli you can have lunch for a week. Your body gets to learn and adapt to those nutrients to the point they will taste like creamy crunchy heaven. That’s what happened for me at least.

Baking eggs might sound new to you. Alton Brown lays it all out for you and I have the link ready for you in the recipe below. It makes a creamy egg and you can cook so many at once. It’s the only method I use now.

Egg Bake

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Baked or Boiled Egg (learn how to bake eggs here)

Dashes of Paprika

Dashes of Salt

Directions:

Set over to 300 degrees.

Put the above ingredients in a mini casserole dish.

Put the casserole dish in the over once it has heated.

Let set in over for fifteen minutes.

Eventually vary up the spices to your mind’s possibilities and let me know your favorites =)

Macros

Calories: 119.2g, Total Fat: 5.5g, Total Carb: 10, Net Carbs: 5.4