Category Archives: egg

2 Ingredients Zucchini Muffins

There is too much zucchini growing in all of our gardens and minds right now (all of those food bloggers keep putting it in there).

In order to let you savor zucchini with smilegasms I have made for you a very easy noms that takes two ingredients most likely already in your fridge. Eggs and zucchinis.

Both ingredients are easily obtained from your local farmer’s market, even if you live in a desert (my life). Honestly there’s just something primal in the satisfaction of getting what you put inside you from the person that grew it.

This recipe is shockingly delicious due to its minimal nature, but both ingredients get to really come together inside your mouth. Easily cast iron heated in the mornings and you can keep them simple and change the toppings. Hot sauce, chives, paprika, tomatoes, beaver tongue. Just let your mind grow wild.

Ingredients:

6 Happy Eggs

1 Cup/Half of a Zucchini

Spiralizer or Knife

Donut Pan or Muffin Pan or Cupcake pan

  1. Preheat oven to 375 Degrees
  2. Sprilaze your zucchini or cut it up into chunks with a knife/your teeth (I do this with chocolate for my mug cakes all the time).
  3. Salt and pepper your zucchini to taste preference and toss.
  4. Circle the noodles into your donut pan or put them into a muffin/donut pan after thoroughly spraying it down with coconut oil/other oil
  5. Crack an egg into each hole and swirl it out a bit (the best tasting ones are just gently moved around instead of scrambling the egg).
  6. Put your pan into the oven and cook for 20-25 minutes.

Visual Tutorial

    1.   Spiralize the zucchini.

Spiralizing

2.   Swirl the zucchini into holes/place into muffin pan.

Spiralized Zoodles

2.   Crack an egg into each hole.

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3.   Bake for 20-25 minutes and then pop them out. Can be stored in the fridge for at least a week (mine were gone after that).

Zucchini Donuts

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Faster by the Dozen: Baked Eggs

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Baked eggs have a special little spot in my fridge that constantly gets refilled.

 Admittedly that spot changes all of the time because I share the fridge with three other people so items move as fast as the Jews. I am one by blood so I can mock this.

Every time I feel lacking in nutrients or a deep hunger craving hits I can just take one out, salt it/paprika it and then pop it right inside me. They also can be blissfucked into an egg salad or stuffed into a raw avocado. They’re especially great when you get tipsy and all food, even Taco Bell food, suddenly seems appealing.

Those mind barriers dropping. I swear I could help ADHD drop those horrid procrastinating fears by convincing society to let us be drunk all the time. I’ll even swear on dark raspberry chocolate laced in broccoli (cuz who cares if that dies?)

Eating a baked egg gives you one of those life moments where you have to remember back to your past self and shake your head with little glares. How have I not been baking a dozen perfect eggs into my mouth for so many years (or minutes depending on your age of course…what? We have baby robots by now somewhere)?

Admittedly I’ve still had the white stick to the shell in about a 15thish of the eggs I’ve peeled. Those moments are still far more rare than my boiling egg days.

What will truly have you leaving boiling eggs to the friend zone is that baking eggs is far less timely and you are brought to full completion far more often. I mean the eggs are. 

Eggs are that food everyone agrees is healthy, almost. It is closer than the agreement about all other foods so let’s just count it.

It turns out the yolks actually have the most nutrients though, so please don’t just eat the whites. If you are that odd then please send me the yolks and I’ll send some calorie free water to you in compensation.

Baked Eggs Necessities:

A Cupcake/Muffin Pan

Eggs (I trust Happy Egg Co and my farmer’s market for delicious mouth and mind eggs)

An Oven

For the Love of Baked Eggs:

  1. Turn your oven to 320 degrees
  2. Wait for your oven to reach 320 degrees
  3. Put your eggs into a cupcake or muffin tin (however many you want) and put them into the oven.
  4. TinsGo play an ARAM for 30 minutes, or read a book. (Let the eggs bake for 30 minutes, but at 26 minutes prepare an ice bath)
  5. Take eggs out of the oven and use tongs
  6. Tongsto immediately put the eggs into an ice bath. Turn them into a painting at this point.
  7. Ice bathWait until cool enough to handle and transfer to fridge. You can peel them now and store but I like to keep them in the shell for self pleasure and it makes me feel like they last longer.

A Simple Mouthgasm: Fried Egg and Goat Cheese Sided With Mushroom

Fried Noms

In life there are moments we just want a quickie. Five minutes and full satisfaction with minimal cleanup.

I can put all your desires in one sweltering pan. As long as you have cast iron, but really, any pan that can hold dripping liquids will do.

On a day not too many days ago I opened the fridge, and there was an egg as well as goat cheese left from the watermelon radish mindtini and the cherry and goat cheese mindtini. I wondered if both egg and goat cheese could join my mouth for a threesome. Maybe the two weren’t meant for mating. The goat cheese is creamy and the egg cripsy.

They came. They saw. They conquered. Crispy cream.

Now it’s time to share.

This recipe is paleo friendly, keto friendly, primal friendly. It is human friendly.

What you need: Your mind, your body, an egg, heat, goat cheese, a mushroom, and oil/butter.

Turn on heat and soak your pain in oil. After you hear a sizzle remove the stem of your mushroom and put the mushroom cap into the pan. Eat the stem. Crack your egg on the counter then pour the egg into the edge of the pan.

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Wait until the egg gets white all over.

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Flip both the egg and the mushroom.

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Wait until you feel it is ready and transfer  your mouthgasms to a cutting board.

Make a goat cheese egg and add it to your mushroom. Let it warm and then spread it across the inner moments. Top fried egg with goat cheese. Realize you have no more eggs and just put the cracked shell into the picture.

Disclaimer: Unless you find humanely raised goat cheese dairy is not paleo. Here is a great article on it.

Fried Noms

Consume.

Simple Baked Egg and Broccoli

Oh the beautiful beautiful egg. Somehow even it was demonized in the so called health movement of America. We tossed it in the trash we did. Just the yellow though, we kept the white. Sigh. We are so racist.

Eggs hold a vital nutrient for your sprog. B12 is essential for brain functioning and boosts cognition as well as memory. We want as many of these things inside us as possible.

Now broccoli is another gorgeous story for our bodies and minds. Have you heard about the recent scare of not getting enough vitamin D in our days? Apparently we are not out in the sun enough. This deficiency can lead to depression.

On the days I felt moped out I would just go sit clothless in the sun and soak it in. After about thirty minutes there was definitely more sprite to my thoughts. Broccoli is soaked in vitamin D and completely ready for you. In a super simple recipe no less. If you have a mini casserole dish.

First of all you’ll need to bake some eggs. If you go ahead and bake twelve as well as get a large hunk of broccoli you can have lunch for a week. Your body gets to learn and adapt to those nutrients to the point they will taste like creamy crunchy heaven. That’s what happened for me at least.

Baking eggs might sound new to you. Alton Brown lays it all out for you and I have the link ready for you in the recipe below. It makes a creamy egg and you can cook so many at once. It’s the only method I use now.

Egg Bake

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Baked or Boiled Egg (learn how to bake eggs here)

Dashes of Paprika

Dashes of Salt

Directions:

Set over to 300 degrees.

Put the above ingredients in a mini casserole dish.

Put the casserole dish in the over once it has heated.

Let set in over for fifteen minutes.

Eventually vary up the spices to your mind’s possibilities and let me know your favorites =)

Macros

Calories: 119.2g, Total Fat: 5.5g, Total Carb: 10, Net Carbs: 5.4