Category Archives: low carb

Low Carb Slow Cooker Spaghetti Squash with Chocolate Stout Meatballs

Chocolate Stout Meatballs with Slow Cooker Spaghetti Squash.jpg

Now there are some things that you give up when you go low carb. You say pish posh to bread and its lack of nutrients. You even scold it for taking away from the flavor in burgers. Meat is the true mouth king there.

You do cry at giving up fruit, but your taste buds bow to you within weeks. They appreciate the subtleties in berries and your body loves still being in control.

I never cared for pasta.

The thing I still love in moderation is beer, specifically Icelandic beer. I have a deep infatuation for Iceland. The music makes me dance, the water makes my soul sing and drip out magic and the images of the place get permasoaked into my mind.

This is my favorite 8 tracks playlist of Icelandic tunes.

If you are gluten free as well then they have some gluten free beer already on the market. If you aren’t low carb you could even use cider. I let in a couple of vices in order to make this diet a lifestyle. Beer and the occasional sip of root beer are these vices. Oh and Trader Joe’s green tea mochi. Oh my soft mouthgasm happiness. Mochi ice cream.

Mochi is the main reason I love Japan. A tiny life goal of mine is to make the keto version. Sadly the main flour ingredient is rice.

I still keep it under twenty carbs a day for the sake of keto, and because that’s right where my body loses control and asks for cupcakes.

I mean….we can still have cupcakes. Just keto cupcakes. There’s this stain of strawberry cupcakes in my head though. Wal-Mart ones. I super cheated the first week of keto and ate like twenty cupcakes….*cough* They were so good. Now that I no longer like the taste of sugar those get to remain a memory. When you have old favorites after curbing that sugar addiction your memories get soiled and you have to spit out the taste. Those cupcakes get to remain a delicious mind memory.

Eventually you stop even craving fluff though, your body just asks for meat and veggies and its all it wants. Takes years but it is incredible feeling.

Now on this chocolate stout slow cooker spaghetti squash and meatballs. This memory will always be delicious and it will even deeply take your mouth for years to come. The chocolate and beer both give you earthy flavors that get to soak into the spaghetti squash. I added some fresh thyme for some flavor lifting, but if you just want that chocolate and stout manly vibe then don’t even bother.

This recipe is deeply inspired by I Breathe I’m Hungry’s low carb bison balls in red onion and chocolate stout gravy.

For the Meatballs

1 Pound Ground Beef or Primal Blend

1 Happy Egg

2 Tablespoons Coconut Flour or 1/3 Cup Almond Flour

1 Tsp Worcestershire Sauce

1/2 Tsp Cocoa Powder

1/4 Tsp Cinnamon or Allspice

1 Tbs Avocado or Coconut Oil

1 Cup Chopped Broccoli (Optional)

1 Tsp Salt (Salt once in ball form to keep it on the outside)

For the Gravy:

2 Tbs Butter (Preferably Kerrygold for ultimate mouth seduction)

1/2 Cup Red Onions

1 Cup Dark Beer (Or wine, or beef broth)

2 Tbs Butter (Added at the End)

For the Spaghetti Squash

Spaghetti Squash

1.5 Cups water or

1 Tbs Avocado or Coconut Oil (if using oven)

Directions:

  1. Prick the squash with a fork 10-15 times. Pop the whole spaghetti squash into the slow cooker with 1.5 cups water and cook on low  four to six hours or high for three to four hours. Alternatively bake in the oven by cutting it in half and cooking it in a baking dish with oil for 40 minutes at 375 degrees.
  2. Thirty minutes before the squash is finished cooking start the meatballs. It will need 15-30 minutes to cool and the meatballs take about 45 minutes.
  3. Combine all the meatball ingredients, except the salt and the oil. Form them into 15 balls and then sprinkle salt on each ball.
  4. Heat your oil in a cast iron and cook the meatballs for 2-3 minutes on each side or until browned on each side. Remove the meatballs and add the butter to your pan. Toss in your onions and let them soften. Add the broccoli and let it sear a minute. Season with salt and add beer. Stir the meatballs and everything together.
  5. Cover, I used tin foil to cover it, and let it simmer. I let it simmer about ten minutes and it was already reduced perfectly, but mine seemed to go fast. Watch carefully. Remove the cover and let it simmer until reduced, stir in the butter and reduce to your texture desires. Stir in the butter.
  6. Remove the guts of the spaghetti squash and either pour the meatballs and broccoli directly in, and use the spaghetti squash as a bowl, or pull out the pasta and top with meatballs and chocolate stout beer gravy.

Visual Guide:

Enjoy 😉

Nutritional Info for 5 Servings with Guinness

Calories: 427, Fat: 29.3 g, Sodium: 210.2 g, Total Carb: 13.4, Net Carb: 10

 

 

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Spaghetti Squash Egg in a Nest

Spaghetti Squash Egg in  Nest MLM.jpg

 

Spaghetti squash is that staple of the modern keto / low carb diet that you just know is going to last through the century.

It’s our version of always having a pack of noodles in the cupboard that are always ready to be made into a meal. The ingredients can even change all over it and yet that staple can be used for all of your flavors, from basil to beer braised meatballs.

What you really want in a noodle is a texture that compliments meats and sauces, and a flavor that simply absorbs other flavors, or simply remains in the dish as a layer of texture to enhance the other ingredients.

There’s definitely a shorter shelf time when you compare spaghetti squash to wheat noodles, but there’s more life to the squash, and it lends that oh so delicious health factor to the dish.

I make a squash about once a week, and after using half for some spaghetti squash and meatballs, I’ll use the other half for whatever experiment my mouth wants.

Some of them plotz, like the cinnamon and coconut cream one, but others leave me dedicated to their taste. This spaghetti squash swirled into a nest with an egg inside of it was just simple enough to be perfect on all layers. Each ingredient gets to beckon itself into your mouth and leaves nothing else but pure flavor inside you. I foresee many more recipes coming from this base idea. An egg and spaghetti squash are incredible textures with amazing health benefits in them, but they are also able to take on whatever flavor you’re feeling that day. For this recipe I used sun dried tomatoes, and they release that perfect tomato flavor, without all the juice of a fresh one, but you could try any flavor you have on hand.

Spaghetti Squash and Tomatoes Egg in a Nest MLM.jpg

 

Ingredients:

2 Tablespoons Oil or Butter

3/4 Cup Cooked Spaghetti Squash

1 Egg

1 Tablespoon Sun-Dried Tomatoes

Dashes of Salt (to taste)

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Rosemary (or whatever spice you have on hand)

 

Directions:

  1. Heat up oil in a cast iron or non stick pan  and form the spaghetti squash nest on top of it (I have a large cast iron and formed the nest and then poured the oil into the noodles so that it would all be in one spot).
  2. Push the tomatoes into the layers of the squash wherever you like, or chop them into small pieces and sprinkle them all over it.
  3. Crack an egg into the center and let it warm through your desired level of cooked egg.
  4. Sprinkle on salt and any other spices you want.

 

Bacon and Celery Root Egg Skillet

Bacon and Egg Skillet MLM

 

Didn’t even get the word leeks to fit into that fully stuffed title.

This casserole/skillet will leave you just as deliciously filled and nutritiously plump. Oh wait, it’s low carb and keto friendly so plump is never on the menu. 

Eat delicious foods that keep your body at a weight losing detox is the slogan of the keto world. We up those fats and cut the carbs to where every bite is fully sweetened with only the subtleties of food flavor.

This skillet cuts potatoes and instead uses celery root. I use this veggie wonder of low carb nighthood to make up for the lack of potato in my life all the time. At this point the potato seems dull in comparison to my favorite veggie. I cut it into fries and just fry them in a cast iron with salt and oil. I put them into stews and even spiralize them into soups. Celery Root even freezes well. What more could you ask of nature? Celery root’s main awakening into my mental food cookbook happened after having them in this celery root chicken and mushroom alfredo. Once you go celery you never go potato again…except when you twin brings home leftover BBQ stuffed into a potato and you really want that BBQ?

Holidays just make carbs  soooo accessible. I miss the keto feels of mind clarity and body readiness though, so I’m kickstarting back into the low carb world with this skillet.

The celery root has more crunch to it’s munch than the easily softened potato, but I love how the root gets soft and absorbs up all the flavor you can offer it, but still keeps some of its crunchy texture. The longer you cook it the softer it gets, but I recommend cutting a few strips off before making this dish and eat a piece raw, a piece raw and salted, and a piece that’s been cut into a fry shape and heated in the skillet for about two minutes on each side. That way you get to fully experience what this root can offer you.

Bacon and Celery Root Egg Skillet.jpg

 

Ingredients:

4 Strips Bacon

7 Eggs

1/4 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 Cup Coconut Butter

1 Cup Celery Root (chopped or sliced)

1/4 Cup Chopped Leek Leaves (optional)

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 200 degrees.
  2. Cook the bacon mostly through and then set aside (will finish cooking in skillet).
  3. Pour about two tablespoons of the grease into a tiny saucepan and gently melt it with the coconut butter.
  4. Beat the eggs and then add in the celery root, leek, and chopped bacon.
  5. Cook over medium heat for about three minutes and then pour the melted coconut butter and bacon grease over the eggs.
  6. Transfer the skillet to the oven to finish cooking for about 10-15 minutes. I like my eggs barely cooked through so if they taste undercooked just pop them in for about five more minutes. Avoid overcooking though because they start to taste hard.

 

 

Make it paleo by foraging for it outside. You could even hide it and let your friends find it for ultimate cavemaning. Tools required: Spatula.

Foraged Skillet

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

The bitter burst of winter clove is tamed into a bursting warmth of earth flavor in these coconut butter, pumpkin and clove cookies. 

I entered a cookie swap this year as a way to insert this little blog into the world. It is growing up and I think it is time for a coming out shindig with clove dresses and cookie hair pieces. There would be top hats with an extra brim in the form of a bowl that you could go around with while party people snatched up cookies at their mouth’s desire. 

You might think in your sprog that a little low carb and paleo human could not be part of a cookie swap, but it worked out super well. I was sent delicious almond cookies, ginger snap cookies, and some other cookies that accidentally fell to the ground after my roomies dogs figured out how to knock them from the table. 

Cocobutter Pumpkin Cookies

I can’t wait for the day where food has no labels but for being food. I can add so many diet labels to these when in reality all they are is coconut butter and pumpkin sweetly molded together with a burst of clove. So simple and yet so bold.

When only going for the qualitiest of ingredients one must learn how to be simple with recipes.

Even adding salt can flow out the pennies from your wallet, but when every ingredient is delicious you also get the best flavors. There is no compensation or need to hide any ingredient. Instead you can feature the ingredients and let them burst into yours and your guest’s mouths.

Coconut butter is a newer trend and is still costing a pretty penny to purchase, but making your own is super easy if you have time and a food processor or blender. You could also use a nut butter for these if you don’t feel like venturing into the delicious land of the coconut. Coconut lends a delicious level of sweet that is so natural you’ll want to turn into a cavewoman. There is no point to adding sweetener when you have the coconut. If you’re scared to venture out then you can go ahead and add the coconut sugar or honey, but I suggest trying them without it and sprinkling some on top if you change your mind. That way you get to try them without the sweetener but can still safely add some if you change your mind.

These cookies are also low carb, vegan, egg free, vegetarian, paleo, AIP friendly, Paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free, sugar free, nut free, and fodmap friendly. Serve these up at any party without fear, just don’t forget the brimming cookie top hats. 

 

Yield: 2 Dozen Cookies

Ingredients:

Cocobutter Cookies Ingredients.jpg

1 Cup Coconut Butter (DIY)

1/2 Cup Pumpkin Puree (DIY)

2 Teaspoons Cloves, Crushed into Tiny Bits (or pre-ground cloves)

Whole Cloves (1-2 per Cookie)

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar or Honey (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees for a slow bake or 350 for a quickie.
  2. Beat, or use a fork, to combine the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  3. Crush fresh cloves in a mortar and pestle into coarsely ground.
  4. Beat together the cloves and coconut sugar with the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  5. Lay the cookies out on a sheet. Since there are no lifters the size you make the cookies is the size they will turn out.
  6. Bake at 200 for 45-50  minutes or 350 for 12-15 minutes.
  7. Mouthgasm.

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Preheat the oven.
  2. Beat the pumpkin puree and cocobutter together.
  3. Crush the cloves up:

Crushing Cloves

4. Combine all ingredients and then lay the cookies out onto a baking sheet:

Cookies on pan MLM

5. Press one or a couple of cloves into each cookie:

Cloved Cookie Sheet.jpg

 

 

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

Low Carb and Paleo Heirloom Marinara Sauce

 

This sauce is incredibly adaptive and could even evolve into a new veggie of mouthgasms. Watermelon marinara anyone? I kid, too much sugar. I’ve made it without the onion, with cardamon seeds, with and without fresh herbs and every time it is deep earth inside your mouth. To my mouth at least. Admittedly mine is different from yours, but I do have a twin so the likelihood of my mouth being exactly like another human’s is pretty high.

 

She still eats packaged things and even had fast food yesterday though. 

Her mouth may have evolved past mine, but I can taste the sweetness lurking in little Brussels’s leaves so mwahaha.

It isn’t killing me inside….except for all of the little Bing Bongs I didn’t notice. (Inside Out reference).

Hmm

The heirloom tomatoes are not necessary for this recipe, but they do add a complexity and variance to the recipe that I fully enjoy. You could use a can of tomatoes or other tomatoes, but you want the amount of fresh tomatoes to equal about a can of tomatoes. This recipe is easily halved as I’ve confirmed many times now. Half takes a whole spaghetti squash and 3/4 of the recipe can coat a pizza. 

Ingredients You Need:

2 Cloves of Minced Garlic

1 Small Yellow Onion or Half of a Large One (red or green also works, yellow and green have the lowest carbs, chart here)

1.5 T Olive Oil or Avocado Oil

5-7 Heirloom Tomatoes Chopped or in 8ths

Bay Leaf

1 T Whole Coriander Seeds (optional, adds earthy notes)

Dash of sal

Fresh Herbs (thyme, basil, rosemary, etc.) Optional

Fresh Made Spaghetti Squash to Serve Over (recipe here)

Wok or High Sided Sauce Pan (Wok gives out ninja feels)

To Create:

  1. Warm the olive oil over medium high heat and add the onions. Let the onions turn translucent (about five minutes) and stir or press in the garlic. Wait for the smell to seep into your nose (about 30 seconds).
  2. Add the tomatoes into the pan. You’ll want to squish them into the pan with your hands, but don’t worry if not all of the juice releases, sometimes they need to be warmed before full squishing can happen.
  3. Add your bay leaf, salt, cardamon and fresh herbs into the tomatoes. Basil comes very quickly so wait until the end to add it, if using.
  4. Resquish the tomatoes with a fork or the back of a spatula now that they have warmed. If they’re still unsquishable you can wait until the last ten minutes, but you want the juices to simmer out into the sauce (in order to become sauce).
  5. Let simmer for 20 minutes after bringing to a tiny boil/rapid simmering.
  6. Make the spaghetti squash to pour the sauce over.
  7. Halfway scrape spaghetti strings of spaghetti squash then pour the marinara into it. If you’re eating for one only use 1/4 of the marinara in half of the spaghetti squash and save the rest.
  8. Use the squash as a bowl and continue making spaghetti out of it. Do not eat the bowl

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  • Warm the olive oil

Drizzle in the Wetness

  • Add the onions. Let the onions turn translucent (about five minutes)

Simply Onions

  • Stir or press in the garlic. Wait for the smell to seep into your nose (about 30 seconds). Garlic Me
  • Add the Tomatoes with a Squish

Squish Me

  • Add your bay leaf, salt, cardamon and fresh herbs into the tomatoes.

Herbed and Spiced

  • Resquish the tomatoes with a fork or the back of a spatula now that they have warmed.
  • Let simmer for 20 minutes after bringing to a tiny boil/rapid simmering.

To be Finalized

 

Macros Per 1/4 of Recipe :

 

Total Fat: 7g, Potassium: 17.1mg, Total Carbs: 3.5g, Net Carbs: .9, Protein: 1.9g

Rich in Vitamin A (30%), Vitamin C (60.5%)

How to: Make Spaghetti Squash

30 Minutes Spagetti Squash

I have some memories of pasta on cold nights of childhood.

Meatballs and sauce soaking long noodles that I struggled to look proper with. My pinkie did not stay up (did you know that originated as a level of drunkenness test?). I remember loving the meatballs the most and being sure to beg father for extras. Otherwise, in pasta food memories, I would order at an Italian restaurant, and that meant pasta. I bet they’d have a pasta dessert if they could.

Angel hair baked in lemon surrounding a toffee chocolate ball anyone?

 Chicken Alfredo was my favored pasta dish. Once I left the nest I only feasted on 30 second macaroni bowls, the Kraft ones. I loved those more than the grass water I used to boil. Yeah…I’m that much of a fairy and loved grass. One day I went outside and picked some, boiled it, and drank. I remember that so vividly. It was so liquidgasming.

Fresh, and like drinking the smell of mowed grass.

I found pasta annoying otherwise, except for Ramen. The weight and mental issues I gained in college make so much sense when I see them typed out on this screen. The Ramen was totally made healthier with chunks of celery and carrots though 😉 .  Ever since going low carb high fat pasta and rice have been mouth banned, and never really missed. They’re just fillers and bacon and butter fill you more. Then one night, at some point in the past, I tried Spaghetti Squash. It was odd but I became ravenous for it and started eating it all the time. This was mostly because I was the only one eating keto and my lover didn’t want it so it entered me often. A full squash makes about four meals. I stored half in the fridge and it lasted for a week. The taste was changed everyday. One day it would have marinara on it one day, lemon pepper the next day, cheddar cheese with Italian spices, and finally a chocolate cinnamon with berries. That one is magical.

All vegetables are basically incredibly nutritious for us, especially those found above the ground. Embrace the caveside.

(The brologic being since our ancestors had access to it then it is most likely what we are meant to eat)

Foods naturally accessible to us just work because no matter how much we try to disconnect from this earth we still need it to survive. Just one night try spaghetti squash over your pasta and see if you can feel and taste the way your body takes it in. Feel the difference.

Away from bro logic it is way easier and more delicious to reheat than noodles. I’ve used both cast iron and flames as well as microwave and both reheat it to the same texture.

 Spaghetti Parts

Buy or Grow a Spaghetti Squash (local farmer’s markets have these right now too, go interact with your food maker)

Locate 2 T of Oil (Look for dark bottled EVOO that has been cold pressed)

Large Glass Baking Dish

Oven

To Create Spaghetti

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees.
  2. Cut the Spaghetti Squash in Half (Spaghetti squash are very hard and need extra muscle power. Activate beast mode for this part). I leave the stem on to use as a  grip.
  3. StabScoop out the innards with your hands and put them aside. Take a low quality picture and turn the picture into a painting and hope no one notices. You can roast the seeds or just eat them raw. You can also eat the innards
  4. Remove the InnardsDrizzle the squash in oil and then rub that wet goodness all over its insides.
  5. Dripping OilPut the squash face side down in a baking dish (or on top of a baking pan) and put the whole thing in the oven.
  6. Glass TimeLet it spaghetti up for 30-35 minutes. (If you forget about it, like me, put it in the fridge for about an hour otherwise it is too soft to perform).
  7. Fork it/scrape prongs across the insides until they turn to spaghetti.
  8. ForkingLeave the spaghetti in and use the shell as a bowl or store for up to a week in the fridge.

Spaghetti Squash Tutorial

Nutritional Breakdown: Pasta vs Spaghetti Squash

Serving Size: 140g:

Whole Wheat Pasta:

Total Fat: 1g, Total Carb: 37g, Sugars: 1g Iron 8%DV

Servings Size: 155g

Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 10g, Net Carbs: 8g, Sugars: 4g, Vitamin A, Iron and Calcium: 3%, Vitamin c 9%DV

Faster by the Dozen: Baked Eggs

IMG_20150703_200754

Baked eggs have a special little spot in my fridge that constantly gets refilled.

 Admittedly that spot changes all of the time because I share the fridge with three other people so items move as fast as the Jews. I am one by blood so I can mock this.

Every time I feel lacking in nutrients or a deep hunger craving hits I can just take one out, salt it/paprika it and then pop it right inside me. They also can be blissfucked into an egg salad or stuffed into a raw avocado. They’re especially great when you get tipsy and all food, even Taco Bell food, suddenly seems appealing.

Those mind barriers dropping. I swear I could help ADHD drop those horrid procrastinating fears by convincing society to let us be drunk all the time. I’ll even swear on dark raspberry chocolate laced in broccoli (cuz who cares if that dies?)

Eating a baked egg gives you one of those life moments where you have to remember back to your past self and shake your head with little glares. How have I not been baking a dozen perfect eggs into my mouth for so many years (or minutes depending on your age of course…what? We have baby robots by now somewhere)?

Admittedly I’ve still had the white stick to the shell in about a 15thish of the eggs I’ve peeled. Those moments are still far more rare than my boiling egg days.

What will truly have you leaving boiling eggs to the friend zone is that baking eggs is far less timely and you are brought to full completion far more often. I mean the eggs are. 

Eggs are that food everyone agrees is healthy, almost. It is closer than the agreement about all other foods so let’s just count it.

It turns out the yolks actually have the most nutrients though, so please don’t just eat the whites. If you are that odd then please send me the yolks and I’ll send some calorie free water to you in compensation.

Baked Eggs Necessities:

A Cupcake/Muffin Pan

Eggs (I trust Happy Egg Co and my farmer’s market for delicious mouth and mind eggs)

An Oven

For the Love of Baked Eggs:

  1. Turn your oven to 320 degrees
  2. Wait for your oven to reach 320 degrees
  3. Put your eggs into a cupcake or muffin tin (however many you want) and put them into the oven.
  4. TinsGo play an ARAM for 30 minutes, or read a book. (Let the eggs bake for 30 minutes, but at 26 minutes prepare an ice bath)
  5. Take eggs out of the oven and use tongs
  6. Tongsto immediately put the eggs into an ice bath. Turn them into a painting at this point.
  7. Ice bathWait until cool enough to handle and transfer to fridge. You can peel them now and store but I like to keep them in the shell for self pleasure and it makes me feel like they last longer.