Category Archives: mental disorder

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

The bitter burst of winter clove is tamed into a bursting warmth of earth flavor in these coconut butter, pumpkin and clove cookies. 

I entered a cookie swap this year as a way to insert this little blog into the world. It is growing up and I think it is time for a coming out shindig with clove dresses and cookie hair pieces. There would be top hats with an extra brim in the form of a bowl that you could go around with while party people snatched up cookies at their mouth’s desire. 

You might think in your sprog that a little low carb and paleo human could not be part of a cookie swap, but it worked out super well. I was sent delicious almond cookies, ginger snap cookies, and some other cookies that accidentally fell to the ground after my roomies dogs figured out how to knock them from the table. 

Cocobutter Pumpkin Cookies

I can’t wait for the day where food has no labels but for being food. I can add so many diet labels to these when in reality all they are is coconut butter and pumpkin sweetly molded together with a burst of clove. So simple and yet so bold.

When only going for the qualitiest of ingredients one must learn how to be simple with recipes.

Even adding salt can flow out the pennies from your wallet, but when every ingredient is delicious you also get the best flavors. There is no compensation or need to hide any ingredient. Instead you can feature the ingredients and let them burst into yours and your guest’s mouths.

Coconut butter is a newer trend and is still costing a pretty penny to purchase, but making your own is super easy if you have time and a food processor or blender. You could also use a nut butter for these if you don’t feel like venturing into the delicious land of the coconut. Coconut lends a delicious level of sweet that is so natural you’ll want to turn into a cavewoman. There is no point to adding sweetener when you have the coconut. If you’re scared to venture out then you can go ahead and add the coconut sugar or honey, but I suggest trying them without it and sprinkling some on top if you change your mind. That way you get to try them without the sweetener but can still safely add some if you change your mind.

These cookies are also low carb, vegan, egg free, vegetarian, paleo, AIP friendly, Paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free, sugar free, nut free, and fodmap friendly. Serve these up at any party without fear, just don’t forget the brimming cookie top hats. 

 

Yield: 2 Dozen Cookies

Ingredients:

Cocobutter Cookies Ingredients.jpg

1 Cup Coconut Butter (DIY)

1/2 Cup Pumpkin Puree (DIY)

2 Teaspoons Cloves, Crushed into Tiny Bits (or pre-ground cloves)

Whole Cloves (1-2 per Cookie)

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar or Honey (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees for a slow bake or 350 for a quickie.
  2. Beat, or use a fork, to combine the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  3. Crush fresh cloves in a mortar and pestle into coarsely ground.
  4. Beat together the cloves and coconut sugar with the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  5. Lay the cookies out on a sheet. Since there are no lifters the size you make the cookies is the size they will turn out.
  6. Bake at 200 for 45-50  minutes or 350 for 12-15 minutes.
  7. Mouthgasm.

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Preheat the oven.
  2. Beat the pumpkin puree and cocobutter together.
  3. Crush the cloves up:

Crushing Cloves

4. Combine all ingredients and then lay the cookies out onto a baking sheet:

Cookies on pan MLM

5. Press one or a couple of cloves into each cookie:

Cloved Cookie Sheet.jpg

 

 

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

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3 Way Cold Brew Coffee Tutorial

Coldly Brewed

Coldbrew is one of those things that sounds fancy and complicated and as though it will cost a fancy penny and a complicated work day.

In cold brew reality you can make incredible coffee flavors your mouth has never known with any container and something that can hold tiny coffee granules (cheesecloth, coffee filter, really fine laced leggings).

Why is Cold Brew so Superior?

  1. More Caffeine: Cold Brew has more caffeine inside it since you don’t burn out any of that delicious energy as you aren’t using hot water.
  2. Caffeine/Flavor Regulation: If you’re looking to detox on caffeine or even just regulate the amount this is the way to go. On days you need less coffee you just pour less into your bottle/liquid container. The amount is easily increased or decreased based on your mouth/body desires.
  3. The Flavor: Since you don’t burn out any of the flavor you get the depth and brightness that lies in your coffee beans. I’m tasting a beginning, middle and end of coffee notes with each moment of liquid that comes inside you.
  4. Cold Undiluted Coffee: At wretched coffee shops that need to be cast into the fires of Mount Doom they just add ice to regular brewed coffee. That is just flavored water…okay all liquid is but they do it wrong.

Raw

Ingredients for Single Life Cold Brew Coffee: (Makes Two Cups)

1 and 3/4 Cup of Finely Ground Coffee (or the size of breadcrumbs, but there’s a debate going for which grindis best)

Quality of coffee matters since you can really taste it. What you smell you’ll taste.

3 and 1/2 Cups of Filtered Cold Water (quality matters)

A French press or Liquid Container

Family Size Cold Brew

Galon Sized Jar or Liquid Holder

3 Cups Finely Ground Coffee 

A Gallon of Water Minus 3 Cups of Coffee Grounds

Method One: The French Press

This will be the easiest method since you simply grind, add water, let it sit and then press.

  1. Put about a cup of coffee into a grinder (spice grinder or coffee grinder works) and work in two to three batches.
  2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee on a very fine ground (for the fullest extraction of flavor).
  3. Put the grinds at the bottom of your French press.
  4. Pour 3.5 cups cold water (or room temp) into your French Press/ fill to the brim.
  5. Stir the water and grinds then cover the press with the handle fully up.
  6. Let sit erect for 12 hours and up to 24 hours.
  7. After 12 hours press all the way down and pour the coffee into a container then store in the fridge and make a few coffee ice cubes for hangover smoothies/for future use.

Method Two: Random Container and Cheesecloth/Coffee Filter

  1. Follow the first two steps from above.
  2. Put the grinds into a container, preferably with a pour spout.
  3. Pour 3.5 cups of cold or room temperature water into container.
  4. Stir the water and the grinds together or put the lid on and shake.
  5. Let sit for 12 to 24 hours and go do life things.
  6. After 12 hours have passed strain through a cheesecloth or coffee filter and store.

Method Three: Family Sized

  1. Take 3 cups of finely ground coffee and put into the bottom of a gallon sized vessel (preferably with a spigot).
  2. Pour cold or room temperature water into the grounds.
  3. Swirl the coffee and water together.
  4. Let sit for 12-24 hours and filter out  in batches.

Photo Tutorial

  1. Show off Sir Thor

Thor and Coffee

2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee then bring it outside for the sake of lighting

Grinded

3.  Pour water into grinds. Don’t bother going outside and just take a phone picture. Make it look artsy to distract people.

Water Pour

4.   Stir the grinds and water into each other.

Stir

4.   Put the French cover on top but leave it fully up for 12-24 hours.

Up and Wanting

5.  After 12 hours have passed press the handle all the way down.Press

6.  Store in saved up glass bottles. Try to not spill

Filter

7.   Or store into ice cube tray.

Ice Cube Storage

Method Two

   1.   Follow the steps from above but use a plastic container and filter through a coffee filter or cheesecloth.

Coffee FIlter

Method Three

Imagine Pictures Here

3 Way Cold Brew

Faster by the Dozen: Baked Eggs

IMG_20150703_200754

Baked eggs have a special little spot in my fridge that constantly gets refilled.

 Admittedly that spot changes all of the time because I share the fridge with three other people so items move as fast as the Jews. I am one by blood so I can mock this.

Every time I feel lacking in nutrients or a deep hunger craving hits I can just take one out, salt it/paprika it and then pop it right inside me. They also can be blissfucked into an egg salad or stuffed into a raw avocado. They’re especially great when you get tipsy and all food, even Taco Bell food, suddenly seems appealing.

Those mind barriers dropping. I swear I could help ADHD drop those horrid procrastinating fears by convincing society to let us be drunk all the time. I’ll even swear on dark raspberry chocolate laced in broccoli (cuz who cares if that dies?)

Eating a baked egg gives you one of those life moments where you have to remember back to your past self and shake your head with little glares. How have I not been baking a dozen perfect eggs into my mouth for so many years (or minutes depending on your age of course…what? We have baby robots by now somewhere)?

Admittedly I’ve still had the white stick to the shell in about a 15thish of the eggs I’ve peeled. Those moments are still far more rare than my boiling egg days.

What will truly have you leaving boiling eggs to the friend zone is that baking eggs is far less timely and you are brought to full completion far more often. I mean the eggs are. 

Eggs are that food everyone agrees is healthy, almost. It is closer than the agreement about all other foods so let’s just count it.

It turns out the yolks actually have the most nutrients though, so please don’t just eat the whites. If you are that odd then please send me the yolks and I’ll send some calorie free water to you in compensation.

Baked Eggs Necessities:

A Cupcake/Muffin Pan

Eggs (I trust Happy Egg Co and my farmer’s market for delicious mouth and mind eggs)

An Oven

For the Love of Baked Eggs:

  1. Turn your oven to 320 degrees
  2. Wait for your oven to reach 320 degrees
  3. Put your eggs into a cupcake or muffin tin (however many you want) and put them into the oven.
  4. TinsGo play an ARAM for 30 minutes, or read a book. (Let the eggs bake for 30 minutes, but at 26 minutes prepare an ice bath)
  5. Take eggs out of the oven and use tongs
  6. Tongsto immediately put the eggs into an ice bath. Turn them into a painting at this point.
  7. Ice bathWait until cool enough to handle and transfer to fridge. You can peel them now and store but I like to keep them in the shell for self pleasure and it makes me feel like they last longer.

Kiwi Chia Jam

The kiwi is a high fiber fruit. It even comes into your mouth at only 8 carbs per whole fruit. If you are staying under 20 that is a lot, I understand. It is a mere 1.2 net carbs per tablespoon though. If you are in maintenance or just doing the paleo game then welcome to my mouthgasms.

Every time I search what is healthy about a fruit or veggie the top search is always ‘ Item you Searched: Healthiest Food in the World” .  

Le sigh. Almost everything on this earth probably has some nutrition in it. The main issue is whether or not the human body can actually utilize those nutrients. This is why bread and grains just don’t go inside of us. They have tons of nutrition in various ways I’m sure, but we can’t absorb most of them. Also those FODMAPS are not human friendly.

If you have some time later please research this and come tell me what you find. The food our bodies absorb most tend to be vegetables, meats, and fruits. Dairy is a debate, nuts need to be soaked and grains got corrupted but seem to have once worked. Honestly it is a mind scourgy of caring and keeping up with it all. The thing is I feel so blissed out body and mind wise all day. The control I feel is barely believed due to the years I spent feeling out of control of my own mind and exercising the moment I saw any tummy fat.

The main thing you can do though is start to make things for yourself. That way you know exactly what is in it. 

The jams you get at stores tend to have preservatives and are hugged deeply by sugar. I actually have a hypothesis on why sugar does not work too well for us. The already known information is that sugar triggers our bodies into hibernation mode and causes us to store fat in preparation. This is also why you get ravenous and need more, despite if you’re fat or not. Your body is literally telling you to go find more sugar now in order to fatten you up. Remember the gingerbread house story?

So how does this affect the mind?

What if this also puts your mind into the present tense? What if this makes your connections latch onto the idea of the now, of the getting the food and storing it up? What if this causes you to stay in the same connections/thoughts to the point it is hard to have future thoughts or perception? It also makes us hyper. What if that is the body exerting tons of energy out to go and get that sugar? Waste energy now because you’ll be hibernating later. Just a hypothesis but is might make sense 😉 If you take it even further, what if it could lead to us wanting to go and be alone/hibernate? This could be part of the reason for anxiety.

About that Kiwi Chia Jam Though

It’s jam. Of course it is delicious.

Ingredients:

8 oz (about two cups) Kiwis

1/4 Cup Erythitrol, powdered

2 T Chia Seeds

1/4 Cup Water

To Create:

   1.   Chop the kiwis into small shapes. The larger the shapes the more chunky the jam will be.  For kiwis I found it easiest to slice them into rings and then peel the skin off.

Cut Kiwis

   2.   Grind your sugar in a spice grinder until powdered

Spice Grind

   3.    Coat kiwis with powdered sweetener and mix together.

Powdered Kiwis

   4.   Let release juices for about 5 minutes.

   5.   Mash kiwis with the back of a fork or go to war with a spoon. Let come to a boil.

Spoon Mash

   6.   Let the jam boil for about 7 minutes to let it thicken.

          (Imagine pictures for the following steps)

   7. Add 2 T of Chia seeds and stir for 1-2 minutes.

   8.   Remove from the heat and let cool for about fifteen minutes.

Final Kiwi Chia Jam

1.2 Net Carbs per Tablespoon

How to: Travel like a Healthy Human

I‘ve now been on a real food low carb eating lifestyle for two years now (mostly). My body and mind now know what it feels like to cheat and react with sickening stomach quakes or mental ick fields of muddled connections. I’m on these lifestyles to combat mental illnesses that I’ve struggled with ever since I was twelve and downed three energy drinks laced with sour patch kids every day. When that high no longer got me going I dipped sugar cubes into icing.

Maybe I’m preset to get those illnesses or maybe they’re from those mind altering chemicals.

I had the energy drinks/various sugar highs when my brain was developing, and maybe it developed with them to the point it glitched. The ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts all leave when I go at least three days without cheating, and I continue to not connect to those mental disorders as long as I don’t cheat.

I mostly stick to my diet when on vacation through my traveling fat bombs or just by finding my own foods.

At a cafe I got an omelette and my twin got french toast with peanut butter bacon and bananas.

vy0apj8

Yesterday I cheated because there were caramels coated in chocolate with salt dredgings.

I love those things. Despite my mind saying those things will hurt my body didn’t listen. My mind gave in to just one. Then two and then three. Then I drank some Kahlua white russian with a side of wine.

This pain seared right behind my ears. This used to happen all the time before I went on keto/paleo and if I don’t cheat it goes away. I’ve linked it to being too much sugar and especially too much wine. My twin, Abbey, still deals with the pain, in the same spot, on occasion.

My OCD tinkered last night and I could not stop arranging the cars in our Magic game to line up with the tiles on the table. I couldn’t untrap those connections. I could not connect away/think of anything else but making the lines on the cards line up with the other lines. Consuming consumption. I was even aware of what was happening and was unable to control it.

This morning I was still pretty trapped and had to find a way to release that entrapment of connections.

I have an identical twin that still struggles with all of these things and continues to eat grains and processed foods. Grr.

This morning I just wanted to feel sane and in control again. I resorted to an offbeat of my dandelion greens salad. 

For Uplifting Mind Tingles
For Uplifting Mind Tingles

For the Salad:

Dandelion Greens

Lemon

Cucumber (optional)

Salt

Pepper

Very Dark Chocolate

Directions:

Turn into salad. Yes eat the peel and pulp, ultimate mind tingles.

Another item that really helps prevent cheating is a liquid carrier. This bottle is my bliss.

I go on no physical ventures without this dripping beauty wetting my sprog and body. Ever since I drank from the crisp inner wells the desire has never left and never has that taste faltered no matter what goes in it.

S'Well

 I generally do water with extracts (guide to come) or tea or coffee. All without sugar.

Random Professional Human Tips:

  1. Carry around a bottle of oil (coconut, various). If coconut pour add to coffee, others add to salads or whatever your mind body desires.
  2. Bring mind food for road trips: kale, spinach, chard, green things.
  3. Drink a ton of water.
  4. Bring extracts.
  5. Bring tobacco if you like it.
  6. Learn drinks you can have at any bar. I do a gin and soda water with lime.