Category Archives: nut free

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

The bitter burst of winter clove is tamed into a bursting warmth of earth flavor in these coconut butter, pumpkin and clove cookies. 

I entered a cookie swap this year as a way to insert this little blog into the world. It is growing up and I think it is time for a coming out shindig with clove dresses and cookie hair pieces. There would be top hats with an extra brim in the form of a bowl that you could go around with while party people snatched up cookies at their mouth’s desire. 

You might think in your sprog that a little low carb and paleo human could not be part of a cookie swap, but it worked out super well. I was sent delicious almond cookies, ginger snap cookies, and some other cookies that accidentally fell to the ground after my roomies dogs figured out how to knock them from the table. 

Cocobutter Pumpkin Cookies

I can’t wait for the day where food has no labels but for being food. I can add so many diet labels to these when in reality all they are is coconut butter and pumpkin sweetly molded together with a burst of clove. So simple and yet so bold.

When only going for the qualitiest of ingredients one must learn how to be simple with recipes.

Even adding salt can flow out the pennies from your wallet, but when every ingredient is delicious you also get the best flavors. There is no compensation or need to hide any ingredient. Instead you can feature the ingredients and let them burst into yours and your guest’s mouths.

Coconut butter is a newer trend and is still costing a pretty penny to purchase, but making your own is super easy if you have time and a food processor or blender. You could also use a nut butter for these if you don’t feel like venturing into the delicious land of the coconut. Coconut lends a delicious level of sweet that is so natural you’ll want to turn into a cavewoman. There is no point to adding sweetener when you have the coconut. If you’re scared to venture out then you can go ahead and add the coconut sugar or honey, but I suggest trying them without it and sprinkling some on top if you change your mind. That way you get to try them without the sweetener but can still safely add some if you change your mind.

These cookies are also low carb, vegan, egg free, vegetarian, paleo, AIP friendly, Paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free, sugar free, nut free, and fodmap friendly. Serve these up at any party without fear, just don’t forget the brimming cookie top hats. 

 

Yield: 2 Dozen Cookies

Ingredients:

Cocobutter Cookies Ingredients.jpg

1 Cup Coconut Butter (DIY)

1/2 Cup Pumpkin Puree (DIY)

2 Teaspoons Cloves, Crushed into Tiny Bits (or pre-ground cloves)

Whole Cloves (1-2 per Cookie)

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar or Honey (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees for a slow bake or 350 for a quickie.
  2. Beat, or use a fork, to combine the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  3. Crush fresh cloves in a mortar and pestle into coarsely ground.
  4. Beat together the cloves and coconut sugar with the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  5. Lay the cookies out on a sheet. Since there are no lifters the size you make the cookies is the size they will turn out.
  6. Bake at 200 for 45-50  minutes or 350 for 12-15 minutes.
  7. Mouthgasm.

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Preheat the oven.
  2. Beat the pumpkin puree and cocobutter together.
  3. Crush the cloves up:

Crushing Cloves

4. Combine all ingredients and then lay the cookies out onto a baking sheet:

Cookies on pan MLM

5. Press one or a couple of cloves into each cookie:

Cloved Cookie Sheet.jpg

 

 

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

Advertisements

Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

Final Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

In ‘making this recipe up land’ I’ve discovered that throwing random fall spices into a slow cooker for cider feels the same as imagining out spices for baking. In your mind the flavors fuse together as you toss them into the bowl, and you can just taste the future flavors ahead. Eventually, after you experiment and come to know these slow cooker cider recipes, you can make ones that revolve around your mouth’s desires, especially if you’re like me and love tons of cinnamon in your drink (benefits of the single life do include having everything taste the way only you want, without having to care about others’ mouths).

I have  a confession you can’t tell the other white ladies. I’ve grown a bit weary of the pumpkin spice. It has been used in the slow cooker apple cider, and the cookie pumpkin dough, the pumpkin spice ketchup

 

Since time is rolling into the holidays I decided to use up the last of the spices in my little bags and see what nature could fondle together with some pears, anise, cloves, cinnamon, and why not some garam masala?

My mouth is so glad this concoction was fused together.

Pear Cider

All of the spicy sweetness you could want comes through with each sip, and you get a little twist for a holiday drink that will make all of your guests feel they’ve stepped into the great hall for a feast. If you all wear your house scarves and serve this with pumpkin pasties (coming soon 😉 , then call me so I can join.

If you want to be more traditional then you can definitely stick with the spices in the slow cooker apple cider and just substitute out the apples for pears.

Rawr

I personally prefer the pears now because they have a more seductive and deep taste that goes well with fall spices, but I’ve honestly always preferred pears to apples.

This cider is so inspiringly delicious I’ve already made a cocomilk pear spiced latte, pear spiced brownies…I totally left the oven on. Woops *texts roomy to please turn off oven*. Woot technology and slow baking(I’ve been baking at low temps lately for thorough heating and close to god level deliciousness). 

Pear cider cocomilk

Soon there will be a pear spiced cake. Keep your mouths watering. 

Pear Cider Ingredients

Ingredients:

4-5 Pears (I used bosc pears)

1 Tablespoon Whole Anise

2 Teaspoons Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Garam Masala Powder

7-9 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Compile all of your spices and pears together:

Pear Cider Ingredients

2.   Chop your pears into quarters:

Chopped Pears

3.  Put the pears into the slow cooker and fill up with water:

Into the Pot

 

4.  Dump all of your spices into a nut bag or directly into the slow cooker (to be strained out later:

IMG_20151123_192527

5.   Cook on low for six hours or high for three hours

6.   On the last hour smash the pears against the side of your slow cooker.

7.   Take out the spice bag or strain through a colander over a large pot.

8.   To serve simply warm in the slow cooker and serve to overjoyed guests.

Serve

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie

Oh my bliisgore it is October! The people are allowed to be monsters and the monsters are allowed to be people. Halloween has been a favorite holiday inside me since I stopped crying from Hocus Pocus and the Boogyman in Nightmare Before Christmas. Those genuinely feared up my dreams for years with Jaws receiving random invites. The rebounding badassery of not crying apparently led to love.

Pumpkin pie is a top mouth love and will have to be recreated in keto/paleo form soon, but for now I’ve only had two pumpkins and the puree is awaiting potential pieing in the fridge. Avoid cans for now since the fresh stuff is piling out of the ground. It is time to embrace the pumpkins, even their insides, and even if you’re not a lady.

Oh and right now is the time to get your super nutrients all over your insides with the flu rattling around. I swear it’s nature’s form of turning us into zombies. The highest antioxidants are actually found in certain spices. Just you know, clove, allspice and the other common pumpkin spice ingredients. 😉

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie

Pumpkin Innards Smoothie Inner Ingredients:

Inner Strings of Pumpkin

1 Cup Almond or Coconut Milk

1 Avocado

1 Teaspoon Coconut Sugar or Erythitrol

1/2 Teaspoon Pumpkin Spice

2 Cold Brew Coffee Cubes

Directions:

  1.  Scrape out the pumpkin innards with your hands and set the seeds aside.
  2.   Put the innards into your blender along with the other smoothie ingredients.
  3.   Blade swirl all of the inner moments and pour them into a glass.
  4. Roast the pumpkin and seeds for the future.

Besides, you don’t want those unloved innards to come and haunt you 😉

Haunted Pumpkin

Whipped Coconut Cream and Berries Hardened by Granola

Whipped Two

If you have leftover coconut whipped cream from the hangover smoothie I have the words on what to do with it. 

I suddenly have become aware of all the words I’m using. Has it become too many?

I haven’t actually experimented with any aspect of what this whipped coconut cream can do in comparison to cow whipped cream, or goat whipped cream (Mmmmm *suddenly mind soaked*), but I have topped it with berries and granola now. You deserve this in your mouth, and I couldn’t just let you leave that cream in the fridge. Cream is meant to be on your lips or inside you. 

Whipped Coconut Cream and Berries Hardened by Granola

Whipped Coconut Crea

Raspberries (or any other berry)

Granola Crumbles from All Day I Dream About Food  Cherry Granola Bars 

(I did mint instead of cherries and it was delicious)

(or any low carb or paleo granola you desire)

Optionally Added: Hemp Seeds, Chia Seeds, Cocoa Powder, Erythitrol (for keto),Coconut Sugar (for Paleo)

Directions:

  1. Let the coconut cream get warm. If you’ve left it in the fridge it needs some calming down time, as my mouth discovered.
  2. Top with berries and granola bits. The frozen ones defrost very quickly and it allows you to get incredible berries even if you live in the Lubbock desert. I use Cascadian Farms sometimes. I found a better brand but I’m not at home and Google didn’t find it.
  3. Add whatever else your mouth desires.

Whipped Coconut

Ish Macros (high variance and not counting granola) Total Carbs: 4.4, Net Carbs: 3.6, Fat: 14.1g, Protein: 1g

Faster by the Dozen: Baked Eggs

IMG_20150703_200754

Baked eggs have a special little spot in my fridge that constantly gets refilled.

 Admittedly that spot changes all of the time because I share the fridge with three other people so items move as fast as the Jews. I am one by blood so I can mock this.

Every time I feel lacking in nutrients or a deep hunger craving hits I can just take one out, salt it/paprika it and then pop it right inside me. They also can be blissfucked into an egg salad or stuffed into a raw avocado. They’re especially great when you get tipsy and all food, even Taco Bell food, suddenly seems appealing.

Those mind barriers dropping. I swear I could help ADHD drop those horrid procrastinating fears by convincing society to let us be drunk all the time. I’ll even swear on dark raspberry chocolate laced in broccoli (cuz who cares if that dies?)

Eating a baked egg gives you one of those life moments where you have to remember back to your past self and shake your head with little glares. How have I not been baking a dozen perfect eggs into my mouth for so many years (or minutes depending on your age of course…what? We have baby robots by now somewhere)?

Admittedly I’ve still had the white stick to the shell in about a 15thish of the eggs I’ve peeled. Those moments are still far more rare than my boiling egg days.

What will truly have you leaving boiling eggs to the friend zone is that baking eggs is far less timely and you are brought to full completion far more often. I mean the eggs are. 

Eggs are that food everyone agrees is healthy, almost. It is closer than the agreement about all other foods so let’s just count it.

It turns out the yolks actually have the most nutrients though, so please don’t just eat the whites. If you are that odd then please send me the yolks and I’ll send some calorie free water to you in compensation.

Baked Eggs Necessities:

A Cupcake/Muffin Pan

Eggs (I trust Happy Egg Co and my farmer’s market for delicious mouth and mind eggs)

An Oven

For the Love of Baked Eggs:

  1. Turn your oven to 320 degrees
  2. Wait for your oven to reach 320 degrees
  3. Put your eggs into a cupcake or muffin tin (however many you want) and put them into the oven.
  4. TinsGo play an ARAM for 30 minutes, or read a book. (Let the eggs bake for 30 minutes, but at 26 minutes prepare an ice bath)
  5. Take eggs out of the oven and use tongs
  6. Tongsto immediately put the eggs into an ice bath. Turn them into a painting at this point.
  7. Ice bathWait until cool enough to handle and transfer to fridge. You can peel them now and store but I like to keep them in the shell for self pleasure and it makes me feel like they last longer.