There’s something about this raw lady being inside you that causes mind shudders of pleasure.
One day/night (oh memory) I was hungry and still had to wait for the spaghetti squash to reach spaghettihood when I saw those innards stretched out across the cutting board. So exposed and wanting, nay, begging to be inside me.
I rubbed them in oil and built up their tension while searching for the perfect spices. The wait was too much and I went classic. They had waited long enough and were immediately drenched in lemon juices and brought to completion with pepper and salt.
I‘ve now been on a real food low carb eating lifestyle for two years now (mostly). My body and mind now know what it feels like to cheat and react with sickening stomach quakes or mental ick fields of muddled connections. I’m on these lifestyles to combat mental illnesses that I’ve struggled with ever since I was twelve and downed three energy drinks laced with sour patch kids every day. When that high no longer got me going I dipped sugar cubes into icing.
Maybe I’m preset to get those illnesses or maybe they’re from those mind altering chemicals.
I had the energy drinks/various sugar highs when my brain was developing, and maybe it developed with them to the point it glitched. The ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts all leave when I go at least three days without cheating, and I continue to not connect to those mental disorders as long as I don’t cheat.
At a cafe I got an omelette and my twin got french toast with peanut butter bacon and bananas.
Yesterday I cheated because there were caramels coated in chocolate with salt dredgings.
I love those things. Despite my mind saying those things will hurt my body didn’t listen. My mind gave in to just one. Then two and then three. Then I drank some Kahlua white russian with a side of wine.
This pain seared right behind my ears. This used to happen all the time before I went on keto/paleo and if I don’t cheat it goes away. I’ve linked it to being too much sugar and especially too much wine. My twin, Abbey, still deals with the pain, in the same spot, on occasion.
My OCD tinkered last night and I could not stop arranging the cars in our Magic game to line up with the tiles on the table. I couldn’t untrap those connections. I could not connect away/think of anything else but making the lines on the cards line up with the other lines. Consuming consumption. I was even aware of what was happening and was unable to control it.
This morning I was still pretty trapped and had to find a way to release that entrapment of connections.
I have an identical twin that still struggles with all of these things and continues to eat grains and processed foods. Grr.
Turn into salad. Yes eat the peel and pulp, ultimate mind tingles.
Another item that really helps prevent cheating is a liquid carrier. This bottle is my bliss.
I go on no physical ventures without this dripping beauty wetting my sprog and body. Ever since I drank from the crisp inner wells the desire has never left and never has that taste faltered no matter what goes in it.
I generally do water with extracts (guide to come) or tea or coffee. All without sugar.
Random Professional Human Tips:
Carry around a bottle of oil (coconut, various). If coconut pour add to coffee, others add to salads or whatever your mind body desires.
Bring mind food for road trips: kale, spinach, chard, green things.
Drink a ton of water.
Bring tobacco if you like it.
Learn drinks you can have at any bar. I do a gin and soda water with lime.