Category Archives: sugar free

Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

Final Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

In ‘making this recipe up land’ I’ve discovered that throwing random fall spices into a slow cooker for cider feels the same as imagining out spices for baking. In your mind the flavors fuse together as you toss them into the bowl, and you can just taste the future flavors ahead. Eventually, after you experiment and come to know these slow cooker cider recipes, you can make ones that revolve around your mouth’s desires, especially if you’re like me and love tons of cinnamon in your drink (benefits of the single life do include having everything taste the way only you want, without having to care about others’ mouths).

I have  a confession you can’t tell the other white ladies. I’ve grown a bit weary of the pumpkin spice. It has been used in the slow cooker apple cider, and the cookie pumpkin dough, the pumpkin spice ketchup

 

Since time is rolling into the holidays I decided to use up the last of the spices in my little bags and see what nature could fondle together with some pears, anise, cloves, cinnamon, and why not some garam masala?

My mouth is so glad this concoction was fused together.

Pear Cider

All of the spicy sweetness you could want comes through with each sip, and you get a little twist for a holiday drink that will make all of your guests feel they’ve stepped into the great hall for a feast. If you all wear your house scarves and serve this with pumpkin pasties (coming soon 😉 , then call me so I can join.

If you want to be more traditional then you can definitely stick with the spices in the slow cooker apple cider and just substitute out the apples for pears.

Rawr

I personally prefer the pears now because they have a more seductive and deep taste that goes well with fall spices, but I’ve honestly always preferred pears to apples.

This cider is so inspiringly delicious I’ve already made a cocomilk pear spiced latte, pear spiced brownies…I totally left the oven on. Woops *texts roomy to please turn off oven*. Woot technology and slow baking(I’ve been baking at low temps lately for thorough heating and close to god level deliciousness). 

Pear cider cocomilk

Soon there will be a pear spiced cake. Keep your mouths watering. 

Pear Cider Ingredients

Ingredients:

4-5 Pears (I used bosc pears)

1 Tablespoon Whole Anise

2 Teaspoons Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Garam Masala Powder

7-9 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Compile all of your spices and pears together:

Pear Cider Ingredients

2.   Chop your pears into quarters:

Chopped Pears

3.  Put the pears into the slow cooker and fill up with water:

Into the Pot

 

4.  Dump all of your spices into a nut bag or directly into the slow cooker (to be strained out later:

IMG_20151123_192527

5.   Cook on low for six hours or high for three hours

6.   On the last hour smash the pears against the side of your slow cooker.

7.   Take out the spice bag or strain through a colander over a large pot.

8.   To serve simply warm in the slow cooker and serve to overjoyed guests.

Serve

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How to: Make Spaghetti Squash

30 Minutes Spagetti Squash

I have some memories of pasta on cold nights of childhood.

Meatballs and sauce soaking long noodles that I struggled to look proper with. My pinkie did not stay up (did you know that originated as a level of drunkenness test?). I remember loving the meatballs the most and being sure to beg father for extras. Otherwise, in pasta food memories, I would order at an Italian restaurant, and that meant pasta. I bet they’d have a pasta dessert if they could.

Angel hair baked in lemon surrounding a toffee chocolate ball anyone?

 Chicken Alfredo was my favored pasta dish. Once I left the nest I only feasted on 30 second macaroni bowls, the Kraft ones. I loved those more than the grass water I used to boil. Yeah…I’m that much of a fairy and loved grass. One day I went outside and picked some, boiled it, and drank. I remember that so vividly. It was so liquidgasming.

Fresh, and like drinking the smell of mowed grass.

I found pasta annoying otherwise, except for Ramen. The weight and mental issues I gained in college make so much sense when I see them typed out on this screen. The Ramen was totally made healthier with chunks of celery and carrots though 😉 .  Ever since going low carb high fat pasta and rice have been mouth banned, and never really missed. They’re just fillers and bacon and butter fill you more. Then one night, at some point in the past, I tried Spaghetti Squash. It was odd but I became ravenous for it and started eating it all the time. This was mostly because I was the only one eating keto and my lover didn’t want it so it entered me often. A full squash makes about four meals. I stored half in the fridge and it lasted for a week. The taste was changed everyday. One day it would have marinara on it one day, lemon pepper the next day, cheddar cheese with Italian spices, and finally a chocolate cinnamon with berries. That one is magical.

All vegetables are basically incredibly nutritious for us, especially those found above the ground. Embrace the caveside.

(The brologic being since our ancestors had access to it then it is most likely what we are meant to eat)

Foods naturally accessible to us just work because no matter how much we try to disconnect from this earth we still need it to survive. Just one night try spaghetti squash over your pasta and see if you can feel and taste the way your body takes it in. Feel the difference.

Away from bro logic it is way easier and more delicious to reheat than noodles. I’ve used both cast iron and flames as well as microwave and both reheat it to the same texture.

 Spaghetti Parts

Buy or Grow a Spaghetti Squash (local farmer’s markets have these right now too, go interact with your food maker)

Locate 2 T of Oil (Look for dark bottled EVOO that has been cold pressed)

Large Glass Baking Dish

Oven

To Create Spaghetti

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees.
  2. Cut the Spaghetti Squash in Half (Spaghetti squash are very hard and need extra muscle power. Activate beast mode for this part). I leave the stem on to use as a  grip.
  3. StabScoop out the innards with your hands and put them aside. Take a low quality picture and turn the picture into a painting and hope no one notices. You can roast the seeds or just eat them raw. You can also eat the innards
  4. Remove the InnardsDrizzle the squash in oil and then rub that wet goodness all over its insides.
  5. Dripping OilPut the squash face side down in a baking dish (or on top of a baking pan) and put the whole thing in the oven.
  6. Glass TimeLet it spaghetti up for 30-35 minutes. (If you forget about it, like me, put it in the fridge for about an hour otherwise it is too soft to perform).
  7. Fork it/scrape prongs across the insides until they turn to spaghetti.
  8. ForkingLeave the spaghetti in and use the shell as a bowl or store for up to a week in the fridge.

Spaghetti Squash Tutorial

Nutritional Breakdown: Pasta vs Spaghetti Squash

Serving Size: 140g:

Whole Wheat Pasta:

Total Fat: 1g, Total Carb: 37g, Sugars: 1g Iron 8%DV

Servings Size: 155g

Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 10g, Net Carbs: 8g, Sugars: 4g, Vitamin A, Iron and Calcium: 3%, Vitamin c 9%DV

Whipped Coconut Cream and Berries Hardened by Granola

Whipped Two

If you have leftover coconut whipped cream from the hangover smoothie I have the words on what to do with it. 

I suddenly have become aware of all the words I’m using. Has it become too many?

I haven’t actually experimented with any aspect of what this whipped coconut cream can do in comparison to cow whipped cream, or goat whipped cream (Mmmmm *suddenly mind soaked*), but I have topped it with berries and granola now. You deserve this in your mouth, and I couldn’t just let you leave that cream in the fridge. Cream is meant to be on your lips or inside you. 

Whipped Coconut Cream and Berries Hardened by Granola

Whipped Coconut Crea

Raspberries (or any other berry)

Granola Crumbles from All Day I Dream About Food  Cherry Granola Bars 

(I did mint instead of cherries and it was delicious)

(or any low carb or paleo granola you desire)

Optionally Added: Hemp Seeds, Chia Seeds, Cocoa Powder, Erythitrol (for keto),Coconut Sugar (for Paleo)

Directions:

  1. Let the coconut cream get warm. If you’ve left it in the fridge it needs some calming down time, as my mouth discovered.
  2. Top with berries and granola bits. The frozen ones defrost very quickly and it allows you to get incredible berries even if you live in the Lubbock desert. I use Cascadian Farms sometimes. I found a better brand but I’m not at home and Google didn’t find it.
  3. Add whatever else your mouth desires.

Whipped Coconut

Ish Macros (high variance and not counting granola) Total Carbs: 4.4, Net Carbs: 3.6, Fat: 14.1g, Protein: 1g

Low Carb and Paleo Hangover Smoothie

Humans keep having this assumption that I eat like a butterfly.

That’s very cute, but what I lose in bread and rice I make up for in butters and fats. I’m an odd little high fat person as I mostly use coconut oil/butter instead of dairy products. Although I consume 30 or less carbs a day I get 90% of my energy from fats. I used to drink heavy cream straight, such as in the heavy cream treat. Lately I’ve gone dairy free though since it feels uncomfortable to my insides every time I put cheese or cream in there. So I’ve just switched to coconut and food tastes even better.

I also eat tons of bacon. And then cast iron vegetables up with the grease.

There are days I’ll eat no meat or just some organ meat, but even on those days I get fats otherwise. Why the high carb low fat diet does not work is people wind up feeling starved. People wind up cheating and feeling terrible, as though they did something wrong. The body needs fat, and it tells us that.

So my weekend had kiwi chia jelly shots and melting coffee cocktails.

On this morning I want bliss soaked fats covered in bacon, with some electrolytes from salt. Most hangovers are dehydration so drinking water and boosting up those excreted electrolytes will help you feel mindloose and headache free.

Hangover Smoothie

Hangover Cocktail Ingredients

2 Slices of Bacon

1/2 Cup Almond or Coconut Milk (or Cashew). Increase for thinner smoothie.

1/4 Cup Frozen Raspberries (or blueberries, snozberries, or blackberries)

1/2 Cup Full Fat Greek Yogurt. (Leave out to decrease fat if needed, or add more coconut cream if dairy free).

1/2 an Avocado

1/2 a Teaspoon of Cinnamon

1/2 a Teaspoon of Salt

3 Coffee Cubes (freeze your leftover coffee into cubes)

Sweetener if you need it (I’m a bitter loving beastwoman and take it straight)

For Whipped Coconut Cream

1 Can Coconut Milk

(Great coconut whipped cream recipe, and what brand to buy here)

or

Heavy Cream turned into Whipped Cream

To Create:

  1. Cook bacon and put aside
  2. Blend cocktail Ingredients (except for bacon) in a high speed blender until smooth

To Make Coconut Whipped Cream

  1.  Leave can of coconut milk in fridge overnight
  2. Scoop off the cream layer into a stand mixer or hand mixer bowl
  3. Beat into stiff peaks
  4. This will leave you with extra cream. If you do not desire extra whipped coconut cream use less of the milk and store or put into smoothie

Combine:

  1. Pour smoothie ingredients into stein
  2. Top with whipped coconut cream
  3. Add raspberries and bacon
  4. Eat bacon first

Final Hangover Smoothie

Kiwi Chia Jam

The kiwi is a high fiber fruit. It even comes into your mouth at only 8 carbs per whole fruit. If you are staying under 20 that is a lot, I understand. It is a mere 1.2 net carbs per tablespoon though. If you are in maintenance or just doing the paleo game then welcome to my mouthgasms.

Every time I search what is healthy about a fruit or veggie the top search is always ‘ Item you Searched: Healthiest Food in the World” .  

Le sigh. Almost everything on this earth probably has some nutrition in it. The main issue is whether or not the human body can actually utilize those nutrients. This is why bread and grains just don’t go inside of us. They have tons of nutrition in various ways I’m sure, but we can’t absorb most of them. Also those FODMAPS are not human friendly.

If you have some time later please research this and come tell me what you find. The food our bodies absorb most tend to be vegetables, meats, and fruits. Dairy is a debate, nuts need to be soaked and grains got corrupted but seem to have once worked. Honestly it is a mind scourgy of caring and keeping up with it all. The thing is I feel so blissed out body and mind wise all day. The control I feel is barely believed due to the years I spent feeling out of control of my own mind and exercising the moment I saw any tummy fat.

The main thing you can do though is start to make things for yourself. That way you know exactly what is in it. 

The jams you get at stores tend to have preservatives and are hugged deeply by sugar. I actually have a hypothesis on why sugar does not work too well for us. The already known information is that sugar triggers our bodies into hibernation mode and causes us to store fat in preparation. This is also why you get ravenous and need more, despite if you’re fat or not. Your body is literally telling you to go find more sugar now in order to fatten you up. Remember the gingerbread house story?

So how does this affect the mind?

What if this also puts your mind into the present tense? What if this makes your connections latch onto the idea of the now, of the getting the food and storing it up? What if this causes you to stay in the same connections/thoughts to the point it is hard to have future thoughts or perception? It also makes us hyper. What if that is the body exerting tons of energy out to go and get that sugar? Waste energy now because you’ll be hibernating later. Just a hypothesis but is might make sense 😉 If you take it even further, what if it could lead to us wanting to go and be alone/hibernate? This could be part of the reason for anxiety.

About that Kiwi Chia Jam Though

It’s jam. Of course it is delicious.

Ingredients:

8 oz (about two cups) Kiwis

1/4 Cup Erythitrol, powdered

2 T Chia Seeds

1/4 Cup Water

To Create:

   1.   Chop the kiwis into small shapes. The larger the shapes the more chunky the jam will be.  For kiwis I found it easiest to slice them into rings and then peel the skin off.

Cut Kiwis

   2.   Grind your sugar in a spice grinder until powdered

Spice Grind

   3.    Coat kiwis with powdered sweetener and mix together.

Powdered Kiwis

   4.   Let release juices for about 5 minutes.

   5.   Mash kiwis with the back of a fork or go to war with a spoon. Let come to a boil.

Spoon Mash

   6.   Let the jam boil for about 7 minutes to let it thicken.

          (Imagine pictures for the following steps)

   7. Add 2 T of Chia seeds and stir for 1-2 minutes.

   8.   Remove from the heat and let cool for about fifteen minutes.

Final Kiwi Chia Jam

1.2 Net Carbs per Tablespoon

The Traveling Fat Bombs

IMG_20150801_222413 (1)

Have you ever done the deed? Have you ever cheated?

I know that cinnamon roll was tempting you. It called out your name and offered sweet pleasure. It just begged to be inside you.
That Starbucks frappacinno was dripping for you and she doesn’t get wet for just anyone.
That potato was even hard for you. How could you not let something so hard, just for you, inside you?

Don’t worry I have the solution and it is even more delicious. Traveling healthyfat fatbombs. They’re dripping with coffee and hardened by oils. Lick them and taste delicious extracts. They even last for days and can be fully enjoyed for just one if you desire. Then store them away until you want them again.

The largest cheating epidemic we face in keto/paleo/primal land is when we travel. When you get hungry those inhibitions flounder and there is rarely a kombucha or bulletproof coffee stream nearby. On keto you can go for lettuce wraps at fast food joins but in paleo land we avoid fast food at all 99 cents costs. There is way too much nonflower-raised, fake nutrients, in those joints. Every time I try to go for fast food now I get sick and then hungry again five minutes later. I really miss you In-N-Out. I never wanted it to be this way. Our love was meant to be forever. Torchy’s bowls and Chipotle still give mouthgasms every time.

Traveling Keto/Paleo Friendly Foods:

Boiled Eggs: Last two days

Baked Eggs: Alton Brown recipe here. Makes 12 perfect eggs or more.

Grassfed Jerky: Noms

Kale: Lasts two days

Spinach: Lasts the car ride

Nut Butters: Woot

Coconut Butter: Infinite mouth lasting time

Ghee: Delicious healthy fat that also lasts a long time

Coconut Oil: Another delicious healthy fat you can just scoop out and consume

Canned Fish: Quality matters

Canned Meats in General: Go for organic to maintain paleo

Nuts: Same as nut butters

Broccoli/Cauliflower/Radishes: Last four days. For mndgasming.

Paleo Exclusive: Potatoes/Other Root Veggies: Last many days and if you’re a beast can be eaten raw

The Traveling Fat Bombs

What I prefer to do is mix my fats together into a travel friendly jar. These jars don’t have any refrigeration necessary items so they’ve lasted me up to months in the cupboard. I usually keep them in the fridge until travel time just in case though. In the car they’ve been heated in Texas sun and are still delicious the next day. I enjoy most edibles and liquids at varying temperatures though so your mouth might have to adapt in ways mine already loves.

You don’t necessarily need fat bombs on your keto or paleo journey but if you’re in keto you need to get your energy from fats. If you’re into paleo then by now you have most likely embraced fats in all their satisfying glory as well. These bombs don’t have to be for travel and can just be scooped and nommed at any point of the day. I generally have a bomb before work to avoid cheating. There’s loaded fries at work.

Basic Recipe:

1 Cup Nut Butter, 1/2 Cup Coconut Butter or Oil, 1/4 Cup Liquid, Teaspoon of Extract. Process and make bombs or put in jar.

Optional Add Ins: Coconut Flakes, whole nuts, various things I can’t think of right now

For this Recipe:

I combined coffee and peanut butter, a deep mouth love of mine. I highly recommend mating the two at some point in your life. You also get your caffeine in while traveling.

Ingredients:

Travel Ingredients

1/2 Cup Homemade Brazilian Nut Butter (Recipe here)

1/2 Cup Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter

1/4 Cup Coffee (Quality matters, flavor comes through. I used a French Pressed one)

1 Teaspoon Neilsen Massey Bourbon Vanilla Extract (Quality/Flavor comes through)

Directions:

Put all ingredients in a food processor and pulse to combine.

Store in same jar you took the nut butter from or turn into mustaches.

Traveling Fat Bombs

Jar Time

Yields 24 Tablespoon size servings:

Macros: Total Fat: 10.7g Total Carb: 2.23g Net Carb: 1.84, Protein: 1.57g