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Fall Spices Ox Tail

Ox Tail Strip

Ox tail is the beast mode version of ribs. They give your mouth that delicious and intoxicating fatty moment you can’t deny you love so much. Your caveman stomach is all kinds of Ramona level happy, it’s deep but always beautiful and there just for you. Unless you aren’t Scott Pilgrim…but she may have switched lovers by now anyway

That perfect tender moment of meat with just enough strength that you can pull at it and strings of savory meat fall to your chin.

I find it so enticing that I think of it all throughout my day, just waiting to come home and put it in my mouth. Now that I’ve used up my two pounds and dropped the bones back into my slow cooker with herbs and covered it in water to make some broth  (if you follow this deep wisdom of a redhead then expect liquid heaven, we can all pretend there’s heaven for this), I know how sad it is to live in life without ox tail. 

Raw Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms (1)

My tail came from my local farmer and was cancer  free (did you hear about the report from WHO? Processed meat is officially linked to cancer.). She is actually the human who handed me my first package, like the golden ticket to my newly favored cut of meat. I remember like it’s in my memory, a white package stamped with it’s name: Ox Tail, and the price led the bottom of the paper off of the edge. I went home and followed this recipe first. A simple slow cooker Jamaican version that really needed the fresh burst of fresh herbs that my dried ones just didn’t lend.

Since fresh herbs are so expensive I knew I’d have to branch out with my next white package and go for a savory taste. 

I had just used pumpkin spice for my slowly cooked ketchup, pumpkin raw cookie dough, a couple of smoothies and some cookies. You don’t realize how much spice comes in that little container until you try and use all of it. I decided those cinnamon spices tantalized with cloves and allspice had to be used in meat. Those flavors would soak in and bring forth the depths of meat. This randomized decision led in to a fantastic finale that I’m incredibly excited to share with you, whoever you are and whoever you make it for. I’d honestly never cared so much about pumpkin spice until reading about all the immune boosting flavors of everyone’s favorite fall spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves all have high levels of magnesium and other things that boost our ability to fight off colds.

These spices are only  beaten by one nutrient source and that’s organ meat. The most nutrient dense food on this planet is organ meat and all of this balanced diet talk is about eating enough nutrients to make up for those we aren’t getting from the most delicious meat there is, organ meat. 

Ox Tail really needs to be marinated for hours before it is ready to be cooked. The meat is very firm. This means that the marinade gets into the meat more than it can get into the more shallow meats. Then you very slowly cook the ox tail because it also takes longer to cook due to its rough nature. This time is very much worth it though once you get to taste ox tail. 

Raw MLM

Ingredients: Fall Spice Slow Cooker Ox Tail


2 Lbs Ox Tail

4 TBS Avocado Oil (or EVOO)

2 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce or Coconut Aminos

Tsp Salt

3/4 Tsp Crushed Cloves

1/2 Tsp Crushed Allspice

1 Nutmeg

2 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Sliced or Chopped Fresh Ginger (optional)

Leeks: As many as you can fit

After Marinade Ingredients:

1 Tbs Oil

1/2 Cup Coffee or 1/4 cup Pure Cold Brew Coffee (or water)

(without any water added)

3/4 Cups Coconut Milk or Broth

Fall Spiced Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Directions for Marinade:

  1. Place the oxtail in a large glass container or any container that can hold all of the ingredients (I’ve used a loaf pan before and covered it in foil).
  2. Squeeze lemon juice over the oxtail and discard or chop up the rind into some soda water with vodka.
  3. Rub the salt in with your hands (fair warning: make sure there’s no soap left on your hands after washing or it will leave a soapy taste in your meat).
  4. Pour the oil over the oxtail and the the Worcestershire sauce or coconut aminos.
  5. Add the onions and garlic.
  6. Let marinade in the fridge for about 24 hours or as long as you can.

Slow Cooking Directions

  1. Heat oil in a pan.
  2. Sear oxtail pieces on each side for two minutes.
  3. Put all of your marinade and the oxtail into a slow cooker.
  4. Pour in coffee or pure cold brew.
  5. Pour in coconut milk or broth.
  6. Cook on low for eight hours.

Visual Tutorial

Raw Fall Spices Ox Tail Strip MLM

Put all of the marinade ingredients and the Ox Tail into a large container after rubbing the salt into the meat

and let marinade for 24 hours.

Part One VT MLM

Put all of the ingredients into the slow cooker after searing the meat. Add leeks (not pictured) and cook on low with coconut milk and coffee for eight hours.

Part Two Tutorial MLM

Turn into a cute ox picture:

Fall Spiced Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

As usually this delicious food is paleo, lchf, keto, sugar free, grain free, gluten free, dairy free and nut free. Not that any of that matters when it comes to just enjoying food, because when it comes to organ meat there is not diet but for human connection.

And yes I mostly just said that for Google search purposes 😉

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Slow Cooker Apple Cider

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My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

Directions:

  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)

Bourbon

Whiskey

Vodka

Turn into a Cake

Notes:

Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.

Cinnamon:

2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ze Cocomilk Chai Pour MLM

Mmmmm winter is finally coming, and with it must be a drink worthy of a night spent with Margaery.

The earthy spices are finally in the minds of everyone and spreading like cinnamon icing across our foods and dripping into our drinks with cinnamon laced in ginger, fennel, cloves, and even anise.

My humble human mouth is not yet a fan of anise, it tastes like licorice was steeped for twenty hours and then someone tried to turn it to wine.

Wine Love (1)

It just tastes wrong and should not exist.

In my little version of reality this will not be true for long. Taste has to do with your body accepting foods as energy sources, and it simply feared anise because it was new. That was a year ago so right now it may even taste of licorice dripping out of a gorgeous chocolate hinted Merlot.

Coco Milk Chai Holding

Cinnamon sweetly touching ginger and fondling cardamon, black pepper, and cloves should happen every day. Coconut milk has this mouth dripping quality of not overpowering flavors while maintaining that creamy feeling you want from a latte.

Coconut in itself lends a new flavor for lattes that compliments and strengthens the spicy nature of Chai tea. 

Coconut also has its own sweetness despite being sugar free, and allows for very little need when it comes to extra sweetening. Try minimal sweetener and then increase if you feel you must, but the less sweetener the more you can taste the chai 😉

Final Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ingredients:

4 Oz of Fresh Water (quality matters)

1/4 Teaspoon Blue Lotus Masala Chai

(They use a powdered form which makes steeping unnecessary

Or Make Your Own like a beast human

(You’ll surpass my beastliness since I just used the powder)

4 Oz Full Fat Coconut Milk

(Or make your own)

1/8 Tsp Coconut Suga

(For paleo or Erythitrol for a low carb / keto version, coconut will lend a more earthy note)

Outside Coco Milk Chai

Directions:

  1. Boil the coconut milk and water together. If you made your own cocomilk and stored it in the fridge then be sure to add chunks of the cream layer that forms for maximal creaminess.
  2. Right when the cocomilk and water reach boiling stir in the Masla Chai or steep your own chai.
  3. Sweeten and let cool before consuming. My hurt tongue serves as reminder penance.

Chai Holding

Recipe notes:

Making your own coconut milk can definitely be cheaper over time and is so simple that I do it about once a week.

Make sure to use full fat coconut milk otherwise it will taste thin.

P.S. You’re beautiful <(^_^)>

Too Easy Tuna Salad: Zero Carbs

On so many days I arrive home starving, or tipsy, and need to just consume food. In general, keto makes you feel really full as your body is so satisfied by itself, but because of this full feeling I’ll forget to eat until about four.

At this point I could go the day without food and reach epic mental clarity, but if I’m in hunger mode I’ll just nom whatever is in oral vicinity with the ravenous force of a 105 pound goddess.

So in my mind cookbook there has to be quick and easy recipes that I can make without even having eggs or mayo. I run out of both of these constantly. Because of this simple mind cookbook I’ve been saved many a fast food caving cravings, and instead pack my body full of life nutrients.

Since taste is based on nutrients (science bitches), this tastes epic and makes for such easy travel food. Grab a lemon on the road from any random grocery store and you have a delicious lunch bursting with lemon and brain nutrients. All at zero carbs and friendly for the paleo humans.

Too Easy Tuna Salad MLM

Today I’m just going zero carb in order to detox from yesterday when I decided to scoop a 1/4 cup of honey into me.

Ingredients:

Can of Tuna (Read what to get and what to avoid here)

Juice of Half a Lemon

Two Dashes of Salt

Directions:

  1. Open can and take a few bites to make room for the juice.
  2. Squeeze in juice and add salt. If you can eat the rinds of lemons go ahead and chop it into bits and add those.

Just for you: our corgi Thor. Otherwise known as Thorgi

Thorgi

Chocolate Frog Massage Bars

Finger Licking Melting Chocolate

Apparently Daniel Radcliffe is ‘finally’ going to branch out from Harry Potter. Nevermind the fact his tree has already cracked off several branches that he speared through his skin to the skull and crafted them into Horns. Oh you don’t know of his strip from Harry down to Alan Strange in my favorite play, Equus?

This man has made himself bare for us in the sake of horses and mental disorderment.

He has caught a snitch with such erupting laughter I see the memory like a vivid happiness right now. He conquered a dragon people. With another dragon. That’s cool no matter what realm you’re in.

Then to mention the fact he is from my favorite childhood novel while his doppelganger (they switch this role), was in my twin’s favorite novel. We decided she got to love Lord of the Rings while I got to have Harry Potter. We both are enamored by each other’s mythical worlds as well, but I’ve poured into the Harry Potter Books with only a pensieve and wand to get me out. She’s read all of J.R. Tolkien and seen every extended and behind the scenes moments of the movies. She also plans to build Hobbiton, had a Lord of the Rings Wedding:

LOTR Twin Collage

Then Went to New Zealand for the Honeymoon:

New Zealand Collage

,and has a tattoo in Elvish that says ‘Not all who wonder are lost’. All I’ve done is deeply contemplated writing fan fiction. Until now. Now I have the power of food. Pumpkin pasties and pumpkin juice will be on this page soon.

In dedication to the sheer wonders of this man I give you chocolate frog massage bars in a celebrational gesture of his merging personalities on the screen.

If you are living in the loving yourself single realm then I invite you to watch Equus clips on YouTube with one of these bars right next to you.

The chocolate bar will get you very messy so lick off immediately. I love deep messiness and deep chocolate so I’ll stick to it, but if you want a clear coat then go for the white chocolate frog. I promise though, once you go dark frog you never go back.

Now if you can handle chocolate without any sugar, like a full on human beast, then do not add sugar and have a completely warm and wet experience. The sugar adds an exfoliant depth to the bar.

Final Chocolate Massage Bars

Dark Chocolate Frog Massage Bar

1/2 Cup Cocoa Paste

1/2 Cup Coconut Oil

1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder

Dash Salt

1 Tsp Sweetener

(coconut sugar for paleo or erythitol for keto)

White Chocolate Massage Bar

1 Cup Cocoa Butter

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil

1 Teaspoon of Sweetener

Dash of Salt

Directions forBoth Massage Bars

Totally Look Like Frogs

  1. Take a double broiler, or a saucepan with water in it and a bowl on top, (you do not want the water to touch the bowl, even at a simmer, as it will burn the chocolate).
  2. Bring the water to a simmer (do not let it boil) and let the cocoa paste melt. This can take about ten minutes so constantly watch and stir. Youtube and Instagram are acceptable distractions.
  3. Once the paste has melted stir in the sweetener and salt.
  4. Let the paste rest for about five minutes/until you can touch it without pain.
  5. Use your hands and mix the cocoa powder and coconut oil into the paste.
  6. Pour into silicone mold of some sort (I used a donut pan).

At this point you can store the bars in the fridge and use them in whatever shape they go cold in or take them out of the fridge once solid and let them come to room temperature. At this point you can mold them into shapes but do put them back in the fridge again as they will melt about 75 degrees.

The Beforehand (get it?????). The left side of the screen is the dark chocolate melted and the right is the white one.

Beforehand

I forgot to take an after but my hand was very clean on both sides.