Tag Archives: avocado

Grilled Lamb Kidney

Did you know that organ meat has every nutrient the human body needs? It also has the nutrients we are most deficient in. Nothing feels better than getting organs inside you and feeling your body explode in pleasure by its needs being fulfilled.

I haven’t had access to organ meat for a while due to not wanting to scare my mom, but now that they’ve left the house for the weekend I fired up the grill and brought out the kidneys I just got from the market. If you’re going organ you really do want it directly from the farmer. It’s a very sensitive part of the animal body.

The first time I tried organ meat it was because of Sonia over at the healthy foodie. She introduced me to pickled beef tongue:

Pickled-Beef-Tongue-19

See how delicious it looks? Not scary at all. After tongue I went to the market and tried other organ meats from  heart to liver. I slow cooked the heart and even made a casserole with another tongue.

Continue reading Grilled Lamb Kidney

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Kale Chip Chicken Nuggets

Zombie fingers 2

I‘ve now had dreams of chicken nuggets spurting out the silver waste of unicorn blood.

Once you start sleeping in a hammock your dreams become as vivid as reality and so little bites of chicken, even in imagination form, caused the feeling of killing my favored horseish creature. We’ve leaped through Erasure’s voice in Always and believed in Schmendrick together. I thought my mouth was banned from chicken nuggets for life to avoid mind trauma.

This all spurred from watching Cooties, a comedy you can’t deny your mind of. This movie was so aware of its audience that it flawlessly brings out your chuckles right before soaking them in gore. Gore has always been more personally enjoyed than suspense or ear shattering music to me. The usual horror tactics work very well and I wind up jumping or…kind of…growling at the screen.

Cooties drops the common horror act and replaces Daniel Radcliffe’s horns with Elijah Wood’s hobbit gone…actually he remains pretty hobbit like. Jack McBrayer is still the gayest stereotype we’ve grown more sick of than the sickness you feel from the baby that gets bitten in this movie.

Yeah. Try to prepare for that mind trip. I’m sure Jorge Garcia will even share his shrooms with you.

Along with What We Do in the Shadows and It Follows this movie reminds you that there is more to movies than Failing Four and Jurassic Jupiter (because Jupiter lied to us about being able to rely on it too). Hopefully Cooties is still in theaters when you see this, or available on Netflix, because this movie is worthy of blisstons of praise and even kale chip encrusted recipes.

I‘m a variety human so I baked half of the chicken and fried the other half. I also coated half of the chicken in crushed up Kale chips and the other half in pork rinds. What? I’m single. Let me have pleasure.

The kale chip crackings were the most mouth soaking but pork rind fried chicken will always have its place on my fried chicken.

 

Ingredients for Cootie Free Chicken Nuggets:

The Breasts of 3 Chickens Cut into Two Inch Chunks

Enough Pickle Juice to Fill a Bag with 3 Chicken Breasts in it

(Quality of pickle juice matters, I go for TJ’s crunchicons and just pour out enough of the juice out to fill the bag and then put the lid back on and store it in the fridge)

1-2 Cups of Avocado Oil (or any frying oil)

4 Oz of Kale/Pork Rinds

or

2 Oz of Kale Shreds (I used Bombay Curry)

2 Oz Pork Skins (go for softer pork rinds and discard and super hard bits)

Final Chicken Nuggets

Prep Directions for Both the Oven and The Frying:

  1. Take a plastic bag or any dish that can hold things and put the chicken breasts in it.
  2. Fill the container with pickle juice and let it sit in the fridge overnight. Then go sleep or watch Cooties.
  3. Do not rinse off the pickle juice. It makes the kale chips or pork rinds stick to the chicken.
  4. The next day savor what you have watched and cut up the chicken into 2 inch chunks (or leave as strips).

Coated

Pan/Cast Iron Frying Directions:

  1. Coat your chicken chunks or strips in kale chips or pork rinds or both by pressing it deeply into them.
  2. Coat the bottom of a pan with enough frying oil to cover half of a chicken chunk.
  3. Fry each side for two minutes and remove from oil.

Oven Directions

  1. Set the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Let your oven reach 400 degrees (about the time of an ARAM).
  3. Either toss your chicken in oil now then coat with kale chips or pork rinds or both, or coat them and then put the chunks in a bowl and drizzle in oil.
  4. Lay the chunks on a wire rack and set over a baking pan, or over a cupcake pan because you didn’t feel like finding a baking pan.
  5. Bake for 4 minutes and then flip and bake for 4 more minutes.

Baked vs. Fried

(Fried on the bottom baked on the top)

Fried vs Baked

For Avocado Mayo:

Ingredients

1 Avocado

1/4 Cup EVOO (list of lying ones here) or Avocado Oi

1/2 Teaspoon of Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Pepper

1/2 of a Lemon’s Juice

Sriracha (optional)

Directions:

  1. Process ingredients together or smash them a lot with a fork.
  2. Drizzle in sriracha.

CHickeN nUggEtS

Macros:

Depends on what Kale chips you use but according to all but the vegans/vegetarians/calorie counters this is healthy.

cootie-free-chicken-nuggets 2

Grass-Fed Avocado Donuts

Have you ever thought about how enticingly exciting it is that we can turn foods to fluff?

Not just cotton candy mind twirls but donuts and muffins and pancakes. When first starting on a paleo or keto or primal lifestyle you get denied these blissful mouth moments because you really can’t go out and buy them anymore. Most baked goods in stores are loaded with sugars and processed things just waiting to craggly up your mindbrain and body. Now, we don’t want your gorgeous body and mind being touched by those things because of all the harm they can cause. We do want you to still enjoy life though.

I am not a fan of sugar at all anymore. It causes too many cravings. It’s that thing I can eat and then just want to keep eating. Now that I’ve entered back into ketosis with paleo flairs I no longer crave food but for when my body actually needs it. I eat once a day until full and am satisfied into the next day. I have energy radiating from my sprog and body and my mental disorders have floated away. Every time I even add coconut sugar or erythritol/swerve (alternative natural sweeteners) I find myself thinking of those laced baked goods all day and just craving them despite having eaten my normal fill. In the science of it our bodies actually trigger hibernation mode and decide to store those nutrients instead of use them and then beg for more. Yeah, evolution not catching up sucks. Try being female.

I still want donuts though.

So I make donuts with no sugar at all, but instead bring out the flavors from earth’s other tasty treats. Specifically, I enjoy cinnamon and cocoa and almost all herbs. Your mouth gets to appreciate and draw out these flavors the more you embrace them. At first there’s a bit of an ick as your mind doesn’t know the flavors and asks where the sweet is. Do not fret though, eventually it will crave those nutrients and know your desires.Then sweet will just taste overt and unnecessary. I tried honey the other day, an old mouth love, and realized I have moved on. It offered nothing but sweet. In fact, most sweeteners just take away from flavor once you have adapted.

Think about when you eat sweets. You know how you feel horrid after and sometimes want to vomit? With these baked goodies you just feel great after. You get all of the healthy nutrients. You just get them in a solid fluff form.

In the keto world we use low carb flours such as almond, hazelnut and coconut. All of these are delicious on their own and so baking them just creates all of that deliciousness in your mouth.

For these donuts though I am drawing on Carolyn’s recipe  from All Day I Dream About Food, and just using an avocado, eggs, nut butter and a few other ingredients. Ingredients that don’t need fancy flours or sweeteners but just a quick trip to the grocery store, farmer’s market or put on a list for later delights. I’m still a novice so help from others is still totally acceptable. Right?

I strayed from her beautiful muffin recipe to make donuts. I just got my silicone pan in and really wanted to try it. I also changed her water to wine because I enjoy liquid flavors coming through in my baked goods. Next time I’ll even try tea or bourbon. If you want to go mild though water definitely works, so does almond milk, coconut milk, or cashew milk. If you’re following my desires for your mindbody though, no sugar, you will want to up the flavors just a tad, or add an idea of your own. I think I’ll even try lavender chocolate next time.

Now these donuts are perfectly moist and fluffy with deep chocolate nuts and can be eaten for breakfast or just a side snack. They are mindblissed out on chocolate which contains magnesium and iron (two things myself and most Americans are deficient in). Avocado is actually one of those fruits every diet loves. If only they could stop fighting over it’s place as a fruit or vegetable.

First you’ll want to lay out all your ingredients on a gorgeous black cutting board and lay it in the grass:

DSCN0109

Then preheat your oven to 350.

(Imagine a picture here)

Then you’ll want to put your two eggs, avocado, nut butter (or sunflower butter if you’re going nut free), and liquid into a high-speed blender of a food processor.

Food Processed One

Then you’ll whirl all of it into a smooth bliss. Take it outside for picture lighting’s sake.

Food Processed Two

Once whirled add the cocoa powder, baking soda, salt and extract. Decide you’re exhausted and don’t want to go outside so just take an inside countertop picture.
Food Processed Three

Pulse or blend until smooth. The batter can get thick so scrape down the sides as you go. My Ninja was a beast at blending and didn’t require any side scraping. Forget to take a picture of that moment but pretend you did and hope no one notices.

Finally you’ll spoon the batter into your pan. Consider worrying about getting all the batter in the holes then decide you’ve already done enough work.

Donut Pan

Bake for 12 minutes, until the tops are firm.

Place donuts onto serving tray, dust leftover cocoa powder across tray, place in grass and take a pretty picture.

Finished Donuts

Ingredients:

1 avocado

1 cup nut or sunflower seed butter (I used 1/2 a cup of Brazilian butter and 1/2 a cup of almond butter)

2 eggs

6 tablespoons coconut milk

 

or  3 tablespoons nut/coconut milk and 3 tablespoons wine, or bourbon, or any liquid

 

6 tablespoons cocoa powder

1sp baking soda

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Dash salt

1/4 cup chocolate chips (I used Trader Joe’s 85%)

Sprinkling of blueberries (optional)

Dashes of bitters (optional)

Some form of sweetener if desired (I don’t to avoid cravings)

To create:

1) Turn the over up to 350 and grease your doughnut pan. I recommend coconut spray for this to keep those dessert feels.

2) Add your nut or sunflower butter, eggs, liquid, avocado to a food processor or high speed blender. Blend until smooth.

3) Remove lid and add in cocoa powder, baking soda and extract then put the lid back on and blend until smooth again.

4) Pour the batter into your doughnut molds and bake in the over for 12 minutes/until the tops are firm.

Makes 18 mini donuts.

Macros per donut: Net Carbs: 2.3 Total Carbs: 4g, Fat: 6.65g, Protein: 3g

Best Storage: Glass Container

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Best reheating: Cast iron with coconut oil and a dollop of peanut butter, and a berry.

Reheat Donuts
Reheat Donuts