Tag Archives: cavefood

Low Carb and Paleo Slow Cooker Beef Stew

Raw Ingredients

Beef stew to warm your body and soul as winter fires warm the background.

Stew is a tasty and warm meal you share with your fellow humans, especially with the holidays upon us and friends and families gathering to share their favorite recipes or newly discovered stew ones.

This savory stew feeds a whole slew of people, but can also be reheated and eaten over the week for enticing mouth pleasure just for you. This stew gets even better over time as the flavors get more and more time to mingle. The radishes are the nutrient dense replacement of the potato, and with just a few carrots you get a burst of color without too many carbs to switch you out of keto into hibernation mode.

Food Stare

With the winter cold seeping in through the doors who wouldn’t want to hibernate

Oh yeah, all of us with jobs and school. I’ll remain in keto mode for the rest of the winter most likely, especially with final examinations upon us college kids. I have to spit out my educated words onto papers and bubble in the correct letters in a month or so. Because of this I’ve also been keeping up with my gut flora and having some kombucha or pickled veggies every day. Your gut flora has to be nurtured fellow humans, just feed it what our ancestors have for years and you’ll access the memories of ancient pasts (kind of…not really…with maca I do hear people chanting around campfires and feel very connected to the cave though).

This soup has no stones, but if you were to eat this stew with Stone Soup cuddled into your lap with the stew next to you and a fire crackling the night sound waves, then you might feel a true soul type of comfort. Also I might have to join you because that is now my fantasy night…kind of. We’d also need avocado brownies and cinnamon spiced kombucha.

The Taste

The meat gets so deliciously tender while still having that rip into it texture we love so much. The radishes lose all their raw bitterness and turn into delicious soft mouth morsels. The quality of your ingredients gets to come out one by one and bite by bite. Excuse me I have some stew to reheat (in either the slow cooker or in the oven).

Beef Stew Raw Ingredients

Ingredients:

For the Meat:

2 LBS Stew Meat (Grass fed and Finished, I trust my local farmer or Wellness Meats)

1 Teaspoon Salt

2 TBS Avocado or EVOO Oil (for frying)

Stew Ingredients:

2 Large Black Radishes or 2 Cups Regular Radishes

2 Tiny Carrots or 1 Medium Carrot

1/2 a Small Onion (Different Carbs in Onions Chart)

1 Clove Garlic, minced

6 Cups Homemade Veggie or Beef Broth (I used a homemade bone and veggie broth)

1 Tablespoon Worcestershire or Coconut Aminos

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Rosemary

1/2 Teaspoon Dried Thyme

Tablespoon Fresh Parsley (optional)

Couple of Sprigs of fresh Rosemary or Thyme (also optional)

Final Beef Stew

Directions:

  1. Let meat rest for 30 minutes because Alton Brown says too (more thorough and even heating essentially).
  2. Coat the meat in salt and rub it in, then sear the pieces in oil until just brown on all sides (do not overcook).
  3. Chop up Radishes both as slices and in chunks for variety. Chop up the carrots and onion too.
  4. Add meat and everything else to the slow cooker and cook on low for 8-10  hours or high for 5-7 hours.

Visual Tutorial

  1. *imagine meat resting and seared pictures here*
  2. Chop up your radishes and carrots into various sized chunks.

Chopped

3.   Sneak a carrot into your oil and then into your mouth.

Carrot Dip

4.   Add all of your ingredients to a slow cooker with some fresh parsley.

Crock Potted

5.  Store your leftover veggie bits in a giant bag to freeze and use for veggie broth later.

Veggie Bits

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Low Carb Slow Cooker Oxtail

Adventurous Ainsley decided to randomly buy oxtail when at the farmer’s market. At this point the Internet is able to tell us how to cook any spontaneous decisions. My grandmother passed and my mother doesn’t cook so the Internet is my food nonny/mother chef. Father cooks really well, but I’m six hours from him and his specialties involve potatoes and tortilla chips which are both off this mouth menu.

I mouth rave over the Internet’s value of having recipes for any diet.

We have cooking classes at our fingertips in both videos and extensively beautiful blog posts. So when searching for ox tail I found this amazing man’s YouTube video:

My recipe draws a lot from his. If it were a stick figure drawing he’d have drawn everything up to the circle head. The main difference is how we wind up cooking the oxtails and that mine is a single serve. If you want a full on family size go with his marinade and then come back to me for the slow cooking and broth making.

Oxtail is one of those mouth ripping flavors you will never forget and I recommend at least trying it twenty times in your life. The flavor is reminiscent of ribs but with a rougher texture. Since the meat really needs to be marinated and cooked slowly the flavor really seeps in to every delicious moment.

Oxtail is also loaded with delicious body and mind nutrients. It is rich in electrolytes like magnesium, sodium and potassium. Oxtail also reduces inflammation which is linked to depression and anxiety.

The best reason to nom this mouthful of earthenly soaked meat is because it is delicious and really fills you up. The nutrients in it are perfect for the human body and so you feel deeply satisfied in mouth, body, and mind.

Slow Cooker Ox Tail MLM

Single Serve Slow Cooker Oxtail

1 lb Oxtail (try the local butcher or farmer’s market)

1 Lemon (optional)

2 Sprigs Thyme

2 Sprigs Rosemary

1/2 Teaspoon Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Allspice

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 Cup Avocado Oil (or safe olive oil)

1 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce or Coconut Aminos

1/4 Cup of Spring Onions, Chopped

1/2 of a Yellow Onion, Diced or Sliced

2 Garlic Cloves, Smashed

2 Sprigs of Thyme

Directions for Marinade:

  1. Place the oxtail in a large glass container or any container that can hold all of the ingredients (I’ve used a loaf pan before and covered it in foil).
  2. Squeeze lemon juice over the oxtail and discard or chop up the rind into some soda water with vodka.
  3. Add the spices to the meat and rub them in with your hands (fair warning: make sure there’s no soap left on your hands after washing or it will leave a soapy taste in your meat).
  4. Pour the oil over the oxtail and the the Worcestershire sauce or coconut aminos.
  5. Add the onions, garlic, and thyme.
  6. Let marinade in the fridge for about 24 hours or as long as you can.

Slow Cooking Ingredients

1 Tbs Oil

1/2 Cup Coffee or 1/4 cup Pure Cold Brew Coffee

(without any water added)

3/4 Cups Coconut Milk or Broth

Slow Cooking Directions

  1. Heat oil in a pan.
  2. Sear oxtail pieces on each side for two minutes.
  3. Put all of your marinade and the oxtail into a slow cooker.
  4. Pour in coffee or pure cold brew.
  5. Pour in coconut milk or broth.
  6. Cook on low for eight hours.

Slow Cooker Oxtail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Visual Tutorial:

Marinade the Oxtail for 24 Hours:

Marinade

Place in Slow Cooker:

First Slow Cooker

Pour in Coffee and Broth or Coconut Milk

Second Slow Cooker Ox Tail

Cook on Low for Eight Hours

To Make Broth:

Once you’ve ripped all the meat from the bones go ahead and put them back in your slow cooker.

Bones Back In

Add another sprig of thyme or two and cover with water until the bones are just covered.

Slow Cooker Two

Cook on low for 12 hours and then strain out the bones and freeze or store the broth.

Kale Chip Chicken Nuggets

Zombie fingers 2

I‘ve now had dreams of chicken nuggets spurting out the silver waste of unicorn blood.

Once you start sleeping in a hammock your dreams become as vivid as reality and so little bites of chicken, even in imagination form, caused the feeling of killing my favored horseish creature. We’ve leaped through Erasure’s voice in Always and believed in Schmendrick together. I thought my mouth was banned from chicken nuggets for life to avoid mind trauma.

This all spurred from watching Cooties, a comedy you can’t deny your mind of. This movie was so aware of its audience that it flawlessly brings out your chuckles right before soaking them in gore. Gore has always been more personally enjoyed than suspense or ear shattering music to me. The usual horror tactics work very well and I wind up jumping or…kind of…growling at the screen.

Cooties drops the common horror act and replaces Daniel Radcliffe’s horns with Elijah Wood’s hobbit gone…actually he remains pretty hobbit like. Jack McBrayer is still the gayest stereotype we’ve grown more sick of than the sickness you feel from the baby that gets bitten in this movie.

Yeah. Try to prepare for that mind trip. I’m sure Jorge Garcia will even share his shrooms with you.

Along with What We Do in the Shadows and It Follows this movie reminds you that there is more to movies than Failing Four and Jurassic Jupiter (because Jupiter lied to us about being able to rely on it too). Hopefully Cooties is still in theaters when you see this, or available on Netflix, because this movie is worthy of blisstons of praise and even kale chip encrusted recipes.

I‘m a variety human so I baked half of the chicken and fried the other half. I also coated half of the chicken in crushed up Kale chips and the other half in pork rinds. What? I’m single. Let me have pleasure.

The kale chip crackings were the most mouth soaking but pork rind fried chicken will always have its place on my fried chicken.

 

Ingredients for Cootie Free Chicken Nuggets:

The Breasts of 3 Chickens Cut into Two Inch Chunks

Enough Pickle Juice to Fill a Bag with 3 Chicken Breasts in it

(Quality of pickle juice matters, I go for TJ’s crunchicons and just pour out enough of the juice out to fill the bag and then put the lid back on and store it in the fridge)

1-2 Cups of Avocado Oil (or any frying oil)

4 Oz of Kale/Pork Rinds

or

2 Oz of Kale Shreds (I used Bombay Curry)

2 Oz Pork Skins (go for softer pork rinds and discard and super hard bits)

Final Chicken Nuggets

Prep Directions for Both the Oven and The Frying:

  1. Take a plastic bag or any dish that can hold things and put the chicken breasts in it.
  2. Fill the container with pickle juice and let it sit in the fridge overnight. Then go sleep or watch Cooties.
  3. Do not rinse off the pickle juice. It makes the kale chips or pork rinds stick to the chicken.
  4. The next day savor what you have watched and cut up the chicken into 2 inch chunks (or leave as strips).

Coated

Pan/Cast Iron Frying Directions:

  1. Coat your chicken chunks or strips in kale chips or pork rinds or both by pressing it deeply into them.
  2. Coat the bottom of a pan with enough frying oil to cover half of a chicken chunk.
  3. Fry each side for two minutes and remove from oil.

Oven Directions

  1. Set the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. Let your oven reach 400 degrees (about the time of an ARAM).
  3. Either toss your chicken in oil now then coat with kale chips or pork rinds or both, or coat them and then put the chunks in a bowl and drizzle in oil.
  4. Lay the chunks on a wire rack and set over a baking pan, or over a cupcake pan because you didn’t feel like finding a baking pan.
  5. Bake for 4 minutes and then flip and bake for 4 more minutes.

Baked vs. Fried

(Fried on the bottom baked on the top)

Fried vs Baked

For Avocado Mayo:

Ingredients

1 Avocado

1/4 Cup EVOO (list of lying ones here) or Avocado Oi

1/2 Teaspoon of Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Pepper

1/2 of a Lemon’s Juice

Sriracha (optional)

Directions:

  1. Process ingredients together or smash them a lot with a fork.
  2. Drizzle in sriracha.

CHickeN nUggEtS

Macros:

Depends on what Kale chips you use but according to all but the vegans/vegetarians/calorie counters this is healthy.

cootie-free-chicken-nuggets 2