Tag Archives: drink

Kombucha Brewing Guide

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I’m gifting a scoby to a coffee shop goddess I met over in Alpine. She makes a seductive London Fog and an espresso so worthy of mouth flavoring that Hermes would bring it to all the gods.

She also sold me this little espresso clay…thing…setup?

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So far I’ve only used it for whiskey shots.

She brought earthenly delights into my life so I had to return the deliciousness in my own way.

I get excited at the idea of people loving kombucha as much as I do, and asked if she’d ever tried it. She said no and so now I’m giving her a scoby to make her own.

I was going to write out all the instructions on a sheet of paper for her, but this way it won’t be lost and you Interneters can get my four months of wisdom too 😉

The Kombucha Basics:

 

Brew tea, add sugar, let it ferment for seven days.

Expanded:

What is Kombucha?

Kombucha is fermented tea. I’m sure you’ve had other fermented drinks 😉

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Kombucha is also amazing for your gut flora and since drinking it I feel brighter, more alert and my memory has improved.

Use Google for more information if you’re interested. It knows more than I do.

 

 

 

 

Sugars To Use:

Organic cane sugar is best since it feeds on it naturally. I’ve also had success with coconut sugar and love the earthy flavor to it, like molasses.

The sugar I use currently is this one.

Sugars To Avoid:

 

Xylitol (I almost killed my scoby with this one), Splenda, Erythitrol, Honey

I start the ferment with about two tablespoons of sugar and increase the amount each day. There’s debate on if this matters but I just enjoy doing so. I add about a 1/2 teaspoon more each day.

 

Water:

You want pure water in order to not harm the scoby. I use Icelandic Water. Hard water can hurt the scoby. Check the water in your area here

The Tea:

 

Ze Cocomilk Chai Pour MLM

The scoby does need caffeine in order to thrive. I am caffeine sensitive so I do an herbal blend of tea with 1/4 green tea added. Brewed separately. (Herbal needs boiling water while green needs a lower temp to not burn the leaves)

Since you’ll probably be making a gallon of tea it is best to use “too much” tea for the initial steep and then pour in plain water. This also speeds up waiting for the water to reach room temperature.

Here is an excellent tea brewing guide.

Go ahead and use the amount of tea needed for a gallon (or how much you want to brew) in your tea pot and then just add the water after.

I’ve heard tales that if you use green tea you can use honey as your sugar

 

Temperature:

 

Your scoby needs to be at 74-82 degrees in order to not overferment at high temperatures and in order to not die from cold temperatures.

I use a tiny heater set to one, about 1.5 feet away and that maintains a fairly good temp, but you need a thermometer to test it each day. You can also get heating pads that maintain temperatures for fermentation.

The Fermenting:

Scoby Slip.jpg

  1. Acquire a scoby. I got mine here and it is strong. It even survived xylitol and me figuring out you can’t get the water too cold…or too hot.
  2. Brew your tea, add 1/4 cup sugar,  and let it come to room temperature (see notes on sugar tea above).
  3. Add about two cups of the last brew or find a neutral kombucha at a store to add. This is not necessary but will speed up the ferment.
  4. Cover the jar in a nut bag or paper town with a rubber band. I didn’t have a rubber band and just tied it.
  5. Store in a dark warm room for seven to ten days. Do not leave in direct sunlight.
  6. Drink each day so you can find out where your taste preference is between sweet and tart. I’m about to get these straws for ease.
  7. Bottle the kombucha so it stops steeping. You want to use dark bottles to keep the nutrient benefits alive.
  8. Second ferment with herbs for a few days in wine bottles or plastic, away from direct sun but still in a warm room. This can also make it bubbly, but that’s not as simple as it seems.

For the second ferment I love lavender, or cloves, or vanilla. There’s plenty of recipes online though and even in this epic book I just got on Amazon: Kombucha Revolution: 75 Recipes for Homemade Brews, Fixers, Elixirs, and Mixers

 

Enjoy your hours and all the liquids you put in them 😉

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Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

Final Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

In ‘making this recipe up land’ I’ve discovered that throwing random fall spices into a slow cooker for cider feels the same as imagining out spices for baking. In your mind the flavors fuse together as you toss them into the bowl, and you can just taste the future flavors ahead. Eventually, after you experiment and come to know these slow cooker cider recipes, you can make ones that revolve around your mouth’s desires, especially if you’re like me and love tons of cinnamon in your drink (benefits of the single life do include having everything taste the way only you want, without having to care about others’ mouths).

I have  a confession you can’t tell the other white ladies. I’ve grown a bit weary of the pumpkin spice. It has been used in the slow cooker apple cider, and the cookie pumpkin dough, the pumpkin spice ketchup

 

Since time is rolling into the holidays I decided to use up the last of the spices in my little bags and see what nature could fondle together with some pears, anise, cloves, cinnamon, and why not some garam masala?

My mouth is so glad this concoction was fused together.

Pear Cider

All of the spicy sweetness you could want comes through with each sip, and you get a little twist for a holiday drink that will make all of your guests feel they’ve stepped into the great hall for a feast. If you all wear your house scarves and serve this with pumpkin pasties (coming soon 😉 , then call me so I can join.

If you want to be more traditional then you can definitely stick with the spices in the slow cooker apple cider and just substitute out the apples for pears.

Rawr

I personally prefer the pears now because they have a more seductive and deep taste that goes well with fall spices, but I’ve honestly always preferred pears to apples.

This cider is so inspiringly delicious I’ve already made a cocomilk pear spiced latte, pear spiced brownies…I totally left the oven on. Woops *texts roomy to please turn off oven*. Woot technology and slow baking(I’ve been baking at low temps lately for thorough heating and close to god level deliciousness). 

Pear cider cocomilk

Soon there will be a pear spiced cake. Keep your mouths watering. 

Pear Cider Ingredients

Ingredients:

4-5 Pears (I used bosc pears)

1 Tablespoon Whole Anise

2 Teaspoons Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Garam Masala Powder

7-9 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Compile all of your spices and pears together:

Pear Cider Ingredients

2.   Chop your pears into quarters:

Chopped Pears

3.  Put the pears into the slow cooker and fill up with water:

Into the Pot

 

4.  Dump all of your spices into a nut bag or directly into the slow cooker (to be strained out later:

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5.   Cook on low for six hours or high for three hours

6.   On the last hour smash the pears against the side of your slow cooker.

7.   Take out the spice bag or strain through a colander over a large pot.

8.   To serve simply warm in the slow cooker and serve to overjoyed guests.

Serve

Cocomilk (Coconut Milk) Recipe and Guide

Cocomilk Final

If you are looking for the freshest tasting coconut milk bliss then you have come to the right words. I’ve scoured the Internet cookbook, (basically food blogs) and realized there is a need for another coconut milk tutorial. When making a blog post I try to keep with ideas that are new and contribute to the world of food, rather than retell food stories that are already on the Internet or in books, and honestly there are a lot of coconut milk tutorials already all over the Internet’s pages.

 There are many cocomilk tutorials that get the basics down, but I have a few personal tips and tricks that will be valuable to your coconut milk making experience.

1.   Coconut Flake Size Matters

2.   Use Just Beneath Scalding Water (110 degrees is optimal)

3.   If You Use This Milk In Recipes Be Sure to Use the Cream

4. Vanilla Changes Everything

5.   Drink or Bake with Within Three to Four Days

6.  Use the Coconut Pulp

7.  Use a Wide Mouth Container for Storage

Raw Cocomilk

1.   The first tip is that the size of the coconut flakes matters. Obviously tiny shredded coconuts will be packed into a cup and have more coconut volume than large flakes, but I didn’t realize this until making coconut milk with the same ratio of large coconut flakes to small flakes. The result was a pretty watery milk that didn’t compare to the full on mouth bliss I’d come to know. My mouth already knew what full tasting coconut milk was, and thus could not be deceived by this coconut watery perpetrator of mouth lies.

Measuring the coconut out into grams would be an excellent way to get the right ratio for this milk, but I do not have a scale and I’m sure a lot of others don’t either. So cups it is (to be updated in the future with grams once I get a scale).

2.   You definitely want to use warm water when you make the milk because room temperature water causes the cream to stick to the edges of your blender. If you do use room temp water by accident then just use a plastic thingy to scrape out the coconut cream and add it to your cream or just eat it as is.

3.  When using this milk you really want the fullness of the flavor to come through.  The delicious fat of the milk solidifies to the top of your milk when it gets cold and forms a layer on the top. To get to the milk I just poke a hole through the cream, pour out the milk, and then add some of the cream.

4.   You can easily add other extracts, but vanilla harmonizes with coconut like a melody of a goddess.

5.   You will easily be able to smell when this milk goes sour, and it happens really quickly. This also means the flavor is incredibly fresh tasting if you consume it in time, and it will be hard not to anyways 😉

6.  I let my bag hang outside overnight and turn it into cocopulp crackers, or just use it for texture in fat bombs. There are tons of other uses for it though, such as the ones found in this word.

7.  I save up old containers and use them to store my coconut milk, apple cider or kombucha. The old Trader Joe’s jar is actually perfect for this. Use glass containers for warm liquids, but plastic is fine once they are room temperature or cold.

 

 

Ingredients:

Ingredients

1.5 – 2 Cups Shredded Unsweetened Coconut

or

3-3.5  Cups Large Flaked Unsweetened Coconut

4 Cups Barely Scalding Water/ 110 Degrees F (If boiling it could explode out of the blender)

Cheesecloth or Nut Milk Bag (I use this hemp one)

Raw Cocomilk 2

Directions:

  1. Combine your coconut and water in a high speed blender.
  2. Blend on high for a few minutes.
  3. Strain the milk through a nut milk bag (found here), or cheesecloth.
  4. If making more milk put the pulp back in your blender, add more coconut and repeat.
  5. Dry out your cocopulp by hanging the bag outside and either make coconut flour or use the pulp for texture.
  6. Drink within 3-4 days.

 

Expanded 7.

Use Me Bottles

In the fridge your coconut milk will separate and make a cream. You can whip this up for coconut whipped cream, or just add the cream into your morning warm cocomilk. (I do this a lot and just add a dash of vanilla for flavor).

Large Jar

If you use an old bottle with a short mouth the cocomilk winds up hardening and you have to either stab into the bottle with a long knife or heat up the bottle in water on the stove. I do this if I’ve run out of jars. 

Small Bottle

 

Happy cocomilking.

When finished put on fuzzy socks and go take pictures of your epicness outside.

Fuzzy

Slow Cooker Apple Cider

 Share

My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

Directions:

  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)

Bourbon

Whiskey

Vodka

Turn into a Cake

Notes:

Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.

Cinnamon:

2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ze Cocomilk Chai Pour MLM

Mmmmm winter is finally coming, and with it must be a drink worthy of a night spent with Margaery.

The earthy spices are finally in the minds of everyone and spreading like cinnamon icing across our foods and dripping into our drinks with cinnamon laced in ginger, fennel, cloves, and even anise.

My humble human mouth is not yet a fan of anise, it tastes like licorice was steeped for twenty hours and then someone tried to turn it to wine.

Wine Love (1)

It just tastes wrong and should not exist.

In my little version of reality this will not be true for long. Taste has to do with your body accepting foods as energy sources, and it simply feared anise because it was new. That was a year ago so right now it may even taste of licorice dripping out of a gorgeous chocolate hinted Merlot.

Coco Milk Chai Holding

Cinnamon sweetly touching ginger and fondling cardamon, black pepper, and cloves should happen every day. Coconut milk has this mouth dripping quality of not overpowering flavors while maintaining that creamy feeling you want from a latte.

Coconut in itself lends a new flavor for lattes that compliments and strengthens the spicy nature of Chai tea. 

Coconut also has its own sweetness despite being sugar free, and allows for very little need when it comes to extra sweetening. Try minimal sweetener and then increase if you feel you must, but the less sweetener the more you can taste the chai 😉

Final Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ingredients:

4 Oz of Fresh Water (quality matters)

1/4 Teaspoon Blue Lotus Masala Chai

(They use a powdered form which makes steeping unnecessary

Or Make Your Own like a beast human

(You’ll surpass my beastliness since I just used the powder)

4 Oz Full Fat Coconut Milk

(Or make your own)

1/8 Tsp Coconut Suga

(For paleo or Erythitrol for a low carb / keto version, coconut will lend a more earthy note)

Outside Coco Milk Chai

Directions:

  1. Boil the coconut milk and water together. If you made your own cocomilk and stored it in the fridge then be sure to add chunks of the cream layer that forms for maximal creaminess.
  2. Right when the cocomilk and water reach boiling stir in the Masla Chai or steep your own chai.
  3. Sweeten and let cool before consuming. My hurt tongue serves as reminder penance.

Chai Holding

Recipe notes:

Making your own coconut milk can definitely be cheaper over time and is so simple that I do it about once a week.

Make sure to use full fat coconut milk otherwise it will taste thin.

P.S. You’re beautiful <(^_^)>

3 Way Cold Brew Coffee Tutorial

Coldly Brewed

Coldbrew is one of those things that sounds fancy and complicated and as though it will cost a fancy penny and a complicated work day.

In cold brew reality you can make incredible coffee flavors your mouth has never known with any container and something that can hold tiny coffee granules (cheesecloth, coffee filter, really fine laced leggings).

Why is Cold Brew so Superior?

  1. More Caffeine: Cold Brew has more caffeine inside it since you don’t burn out any of that delicious energy as you aren’t using hot water.
  2. Caffeine/Flavor Regulation: If you’re looking to detox on caffeine or even just regulate the amount this is the way to go. On days you need less coffee you just pour less into your bottle/liquid container. The amount is easily increased or decreased based on your mouth/body desires.
  3. The Flavor: Since you don’t burn out any of the flavor you get the depth and brightness that lies in your coffee beans. I’m tasting a beginning, middle and end of coffee notes with each moment of liquid that comes inside you.
  4. Cold Undiluted Coffee: At wretched coffee shops that need to be cast into the fires of Mount Doom they just add ice to regular brewed coffee. That is just flavored water…okay all liquid is but they do it wrong.

Raw

Ingredients for Single Life Cold Brew Coffee: (Makes Two Cups)

1 and 3/4 Cup of Finely Ground Coffee (or the size of breadcrumbs, but there’s a debate going for which grindis best)

Quality of coffee matters since you can really taste it. What you smell you’ll taste.

3 and 1/2 Cups of Filtered Cold Water (quality matters)

A French press or Liquid Container

Family Size Cold Brew

Galon Sized Jar or Liquid Holder

3 Cups Finely Ground Coffee 

A Gallon of Water Minus 3 Cups of Coffee Grounds

Method One: The French Press

This will be the easiest method since you simply grind, add water, let it sit and then press.

  1. Put about a cup of coffee into a grinder (spice grinder or coffee grinder works) and work in two to three batches.
  2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee on a very fine ground (for the fullest extraction of flavor).
  3. Put the grinds at the bottom of your French press.
  4. Pour 3.5 cups cold water (or room temp) into your French Press/ fill to the brim.
  5. Stir the water and grinds then cover the press with the handle fully up.
  6. Let sit erect for 12 hours and up to 24 hours.
  7. After 12 hours press all the way down and pour the coffee into a container then store in the fridge and make a few coffee ice cubes for hangover smoothies/for future use.

Method Two: Random Container and Cheesecloth/Coffee Filter

  1. Follow the first two steps from above.
  2. Put the grinds into a container, preferably with a pour spout.
  3. Pour 3.5 cups of cold or room temperature water into container.
  4. Stir the water and the grinds together or put the lid on and shake.
  5. Let sit for 12 to 24 hours and go do life things.
  6. After 12 hours have passed strain through a cheesecloth or coffee filter and store.

Method Three: Family Sized

  1. Take 3 cups of finely ground coffee and put into the bottom of a gallon sized vessel (preferably with a spigot).
  2. Pour cold or room temperature water into the grounds.
  3. Swirl the coffee and water together.
  4. Let sit for 12-24 hours and filter out  in batches.

Photo Tutorial

  1. Show off Sir Thor

Thor and Coffee

2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee then bring it outside for the sake of lighting

Grinded

3.  Pour water into grinds. Don’t bother going outside and just take a phone picture. Make it look artsy to distract people.

Water Pour

4.   Stir the grinds and water into each other.

Stir

4.   Put the French cover on top but leave it fully up for 12-24 hours.

Up and Wanting

5.  After 12 hours have passed press the handle all the way down.Press

6.  Store in saved up glass bottles. Try to not spill

Filter

7.   Or store into ice cube tray.

Ice Cube Storage

Method Two

   1.   Follow the steps from above but use a plastic container and filter through a coffee filter or cheesecloth.

Coffee FIlter

Method Three

Imagine Pictures Here

3 Way Cold Brew

Low Carb and Paleo Hangover Smoothie

Humans keep having this assumption that I eat like a butterfly.

That’s very cute, but what I lose in bread and rice I make up for in butters and fats. I’m an odd little high fat person as I mostly use coconut oil/butter instead of dairy products. Although I consume 30 or less carbs a day I get 90% of my energy from fats. I used to drink heavy cream straight, such as in the heavy cream treat. Lately I’ve gone dairy free though since it feels uncomfortable to my insides every time I put cheese or cream in there. So I’ve just switched to coconut and food tastes even better.

I also eat tons of bacon. And then cast iron vegetables up with the grease.

There are days I’ll eat no meat or just some organ meat, but even on those days I get fats otherwise. Why the high carb low fat diet does not work is people wind up feeling starved. People wind up cheating and feeling terrible, as though they did something wrong. The body needs fat, and it tells us that.

So my weekend had kiwi chia jelly shots and melting coffee cocktails.

On this morning I want bliss soaked fats covered in bacon, with some electrolytes from salt. Most hangovers are dehydration so drinking water and boosting up those excreted electrolytes will help you feel mindloose and headache free.

Hangover Smoothie

Hangover Cocktail Ingredients

2 Slices of Bacon

1/2 Cup Almond or Coconut Milk (or Cashew). Increase for thinner smoothie.

1/4 Cup Frozen Raspberries (or blueberries, snozberries, or blackberries)

1/2 Cup Full Fat Greek Yogurt. (Leave out to decrease fat if needed, or add more coconut cream if dairy free).

1/2 an Avocado

1/2 a Teaspoon of Cinnamon

1/2 a Teaspoon of Salt

3 Coffee Cubes (freeze your leftover coffee into cubes)

Sweetener if you need it (I’m a bitter loving beastwoman and take it straight)

For Whipped Coconut Cream

1 Can Coconut Milk

(Great coconut whipped cream recipe, and what brand to buy here)

or

Heavy Cream turned into Whipped Cream

To Create:

  1. Cook bacon and put aside
  2. Blend cocktail Ingredients (except for bacon) in a high speed blender until smooth

To Make Coconut Whipped Cream

  1.  Leave can of coconut milk in fridge overnight
  2. Scoop off the cream layer into a stand mixer or hand mixer bowl
  3. Beat into stiff peaks
  4. This will leave you with extra cream. If you do not desire extra whipped coconut cream use less of the milk and store or put into smoothie

Combine:

  1. Pour smoothie ingredients into stein
  2. Top with whipped coconut cream
  3. Add raspberries and bacon
  4. Eat bacon first

Final Hangover Smoothie