Tag Archives: easy

Too Easy Tuna Salad: Zero Carbs

On so many days I arrive home starving, or tipsy, and need to just consume food. In general, keto makes you feel really full as your body is so satisfied by itself, but because of this full feeling I’ll forget to eat until about four.

At this point I could go the day without food and reach epic mental clarity, but if I’m in hunger mode I’ll just nom whatever is in oral vicinity with the ravenous force of a 105 pound goddess.

So in my mind cookbook there has to be quick and easy recipes that I can make without even having eggs or mayo. I run out of both of these constantly. Because of this simple mind cookbook I’ve been saved many a fast food caving cravings, and instead pack my body full of life nutrients.

Since taste is based on nutrients (science bitches), this tastes epic and makes for such easy travel food. Grab a lemon on the road from any random grocery store and you have a delicious lunch bursting with lemon and brain nutrients. All at zero carbs and friendly for the paleo humans.

Too Easy Tuna Salad MLM

Today I’m just going zero carb in order to detox from yesterday when I decided to scoop a 1/4 cup of honey into me.

Ingredients:

Can of Tuna (Read what to get and what to avoid here)

Juice of Half a Lemon

Two Dashes of Salt

Directions:

  1. Open can and take a few bites to make room for the juice.
  2. Squeeze in juice and add salt. If you can eat the rinds of lemons go ahead and chop it into bits and add those.

Just for you: our corgi Thor. Otherwise known as Thorgi

Thorgi

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American Sushi

American Sushi Stage One

Apparently Americans struggle with many deficiencies. Most of these deficiencies can be made up for with organ meat (om nom noms), but for some we can not stay above ground. The ocean now holds nutrients that we supposedly need to function. As a human in the desert of Lubbock I avoid fish in order to not die. I’m also deeply afraid of the ocean ever since Jaws and Finding Nemo (they do not prepare kids for that deep water scene) so I can’t go self diving for it.

One thing I can trust here is seaweed. The nommy green sheets comes in cute little packages that look like Japan blissing out on us. Oh the mutual love bubbles of food exchange. Japan even innovated food bubbles to not pop. You can Google it. It isn’t true but you can still Google it.

Instead of trying to do anything more than meat, cheese and seaweed I’ve just added meat and cheese to seaweed. The creativity comes in adding different spices to your pieces. You could also party platter this and I’m sure laughs would come into your ears. You could even label it healthy.

Seaweed is deliciously salty, crunchy, and the perfect mini pallet for tiny sandwich like noms. Paprika lends and earthy note while even Italian spice will work in your favor. This recipe can lend variety after a long day with only three minutes of preperation.

Ingredients:

Sushi Nori Seaweed Sheets

Slices of Grass fed Cheese (Kerrygold Cheese is human safe)

Slices of Human Safe Meat

Dash of Spices:

Paprika, Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, 21 Seasoning

Directions:

Combine the Ingredients

American Sushi

How to: Make Spaghetti Squash

30 Minutes Spagetti Squash

I have some memories of pasta on cold nights of childhood.

Meatballs and sauce soaking long noodles that I struggled to look proper with. My pinkie did not stay up (did you know that originated as a level of drunkenness test?). I remember loving the meatballs the most and being sure to beg father for extras. Otherwise, in pasta food memories, I would order at an Italian restaurant, and that meant pasta. I bet they’d have a pasta dessert if they could.

Angel hair baked in lemon surrounding a toffee chocolate ball anyone?

 Chicken Alfredo was my favored pasta dish. Once I left the nest I only feasted on 30 second macaroni bowls, the Kraft ones. I loved those more than the grass water I used to boil. Yeah…I’m that much of a fairy and loved grass. One day I went outside and picked some, boiled it, and drank. I remember that so vividly. It was so liquidgasming.

Fresh, and like drinking the smell of mowed grass.

I found pasta annoying otherwise, except for Ramen. The weight and mental issues I gained in college make so much sense when I see them typed out on this screen. The Ramen was totally made healthier with chunks of celery and carrots though 😉 .  Ever since going low carb high fat pasta and rice have been mouth banned, and never really missed. They’re just fillers and bacon and butter fill you more. Then one night, at some point in the past, I tried Spaghetti Squash. It was odd but I became ravenous for it and started eating it all the time. This was mostly because I was the only one eating keto and my lover didn’t want it so it entered me often. A full squash makes about four meals. I stored half in the fridge and it lasted for a week. The taste was changed everyday. One day it would have marinara on it one day, lemon pepper the next day, cheddar cheese with Italian spices, and finally a chocolate cinnamon with berries. That one is magical.

All vegetables are basically incredibly nutritious for us, especially those found above the ground. Embrace the caveside.

(The brologic being since our ancestors had access to it then it is most likely what we are meant to eat)

Foods naturally accessible to us just work because no matter how much we try to disconnect from this earth we still need it to survive. Just one night try spaghetti squash over your pasta and see if you can feel and taste the way your body takes it in. Feel the difference.

Away from bro logic it is way easier and more delicious to reheat than noodles. I’ve used both cast iron and flames as well as microwave and both reheat it to the same texture.

 Spaghetti Parts

Buy or Grow a Spaghetti Squash (local farmer’s markets have these right now too, go interact with your food maker)

Locate 2 T of Oil (Look for dark bottled EVOO that has been cold pressed)

Large Glass Baking Dish

Oven

To Create Spaghetti

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees.
  2. Cut the Spaghetti Squash in Half (Spaghetti squash are very hard and need extra muscle power. Activate beast mode for this part). I leave the stem on to use as a  grip.
  3. StabScoop out the innards with your hands and put them aside. Take a low quality picture and turn the picture into a painting and hope no one notices. You can roast the seeds or just eat them raw. You can also eat the innards
  4. Remove the InnardsDrizzle the squash in oil and then rub that wet goodness all over its insides.
  5. Dripping OilPut the squash face side down in a baking dish (or on top of a baking pan) and put the whole thing in the oven.
  6. Glass TimeLet it spaghetti up for 30-35 minutes. (If you forget about it, like me, put it in the fridge for about an hour otherwise it is too soft to perform).
  7. Fork it/scrape prongs across the insides until they turn to spaghetti.
  8. ForkingLeave the spaghetti in and use the shell as a bowl or store for up to a week in the fridge.

Spaghetti Squash Tutorial

Nutritional Breakdown: Pasta vs Spaghetti Squash

Serving Size: 140g:

Whole Wheat Pasta:

Total Fat: 1g, Total Carb: 37g, Sugars: 1g Iron 8%DV

Servings Size: 155g

Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 10g, Net Carbs: 8g, Sugars: 4g, Vitamin A, Iron and Calcium: 3%, Vitamin c 9%DV

3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

Frozen yogurt is a blisswirl of flavors that are so refreshing and crisp you can barely take it in your mouth.

3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

With summer beating down, and my body dwelling in Texas, cold is a required mouthgasm, and those ice cream trucks are taunting. Mostly to throw bombs at them because they’re really loud and that song haunts all the way into my childhood.

I Googled around and to my bliss it you can very easily make frozen yogurt if you have yogurt and a freezer. If you want the blisswirls you’ll need to add sugar, salt and an ice cream maker.

To get the best of flavors and feelings you will need fully fat yogurt from flower raised cows that appreciate being inside you. Low-fat yogurt will have more sugar and tastes like sweetened water anyways. If you still buy low-fat then I don’t understand you and we’ll have to defriend on MySpace to symbolize our friendship being as dead as it.

I have some frozen yogurt for that burn, Once you put it in your mouth you’ll come back into my arms and we’ll unite in blisswirls of mouth cream together.

Erythritol is a sugar replacement with a lower GI that is also lower in carbs and calories. It has 6% of the calories of sugar and yet is still 70% as sweet. The bacteria in your mouth can use sugar for energy but neglects erythritol as food. In fact, 90% of this sweetener is excreted from the body. For more information on erythritol click or touch this word.

I am not a lover of the sugar cravings myself, but I’ve had this frozen yogurt for three days and haven’t wanted to scarf down tons of donuts. In fact, I’ve remained in full beast mode control of cravings.

The Taste

This yogurt is swirled with a crisp refreshing taste you only get from frozen churns of cream. I daresay it beats any froyo shop, especially since you can customize it to your taste. I’ll probably make a coffee and rose flavor soon with their extracts.

Ingredients:

   1 Container of Full Fat Grass Fed Yogurt (3 and 3/4 Cups). I used Maple Hills Creamery

   1/4 Cup Erythritol, 2 T Coconut Sugar (or Sweetener of Choice)

   1/4 Teaspoon Salt

   1 Teaspoon Lemon, Coffee, Vanilla, or Choice of Flavor Extract (optional)

How to Create

   1.   Combine the yogurt, sweetener, salt and extract into a bowl and whisk together.


Whisk

   2.   Refrigerate until the concoction reaches at least 45 degrees (mine was at 35 degrees with no refrigeration)

 3.   Pour into ice cream maker and churn according to manufacturer’s instructions

Pour

   4.   Mindbliss out over your frozen yogurt.

Creamed Yogurt

Note: This will come out as a soft serve. To make harder put in the freezer for about three hours.

Serving Size: 1/2 Cup

Macros: Fat: 5g, Carbs: 5.7g, Protein, 5g

Simple Baked Egg and Broccoli

Oh the beautiful beautiful egg. Somehow even it was demonized in the so called health movement of America. We tossed it in the trash we did. Just the yellow though, we kept the white. Sigh. We are so racist.

Eggs hold a vital nutrient for your sprog. B12 is essential for brain functioning and boosts cognition as well as memory. We want as many of these things inside us as possible.

Now broccoli is another gorgeous story for our bodies and minds. Have you heard about the recent scare of not getting enough vitamin D in our days? Apparently we are not out in the sun enough. This deficiency can lead to depression.

On the days I felt moped out I would just go sit clothless in the sun and soak it in. After about thirty minutes there was definitely more sprite to my thoughts. Broccoli is soaked in vitamin D and completely ready for you. In a super simple recipe no less. If you have a mini casserole dish.

First of all you’ll need to bake some eggs. If you go ahead and bake twelve as well as get a large hunk of broccoli you can have lunch for a week. Your body gets to learn and adapt to those nutrients to the point they will taste like creamy crunchy heaven. That’s what happened for me at least.

Baking eggs might sound new to you. Alton Brown lays it all out for you and I have the link ready for you in the recipe below. It makes a creamy egg and you can cook so many at once. It’s the only method I use now.

Egg Bake

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Baked or Boiled Egg (learn how to bake eggs here)

Dashes of Paprika

Dashes of Salt

Directions:

Set over to 300 degrees.

Put the above ingredients in a mini casserole dish.

Put the casserole dish in the over once it has heated.

Let set in over for fifteen minutes.

Eventually vary up the spices to your mind’s possibilities and let me know your favorites =)

Macros

Calories: 119.2g, Total Fat: 5.5g, Total Carb: 10, Net Carbs: 5.4