Tag Archives: eggs

2 Ingredients Zucchini Muffins

There is too much zucchini growing in all of our gardens and minds right now (all of those food bloggers keep putting it in there).

In order to let you savor zucchini with smilegasms I have made for you a very easy noms that takes two ingredients most likely already in your fridge. Eggs and zucchinis.

Both ingredients are easily obtained from your local farmer’s market, even if you live in a desert (my life). Honestly there’s just something primal in the satisfaction of getting what you put inside you from the person that grew it.

This recipe is shockingly delicious due to its minimal nature, but both ingredients get to really come together inside your mouth. Easily cast iron heated in the mornings and you can keep them simple and change the toppings. Hot sauce, chives, paprika, tomatoes, beaver tongue. Just let your mind grow wild.

Ingredients:

6 Happy Eggs

1 Cup/Half of a Zucchini

Spiralizer or Knife

Donut Pan or Muffin Pan or Cupcake pan

  1. Preheat oven to 375 Degrees
  2. Sprilaze your zucchini or cut it up into chunks with a knife/your teeth (I do this with chocolate for my mug cakes all the time).
  3. Salt and pepper your zucchini to taste preference and toss.
  4. Circle the noodles into your donut pan or put them into a muffin/donut pan after thoroughly spraying it down with coconut oil/other oil
  5. Crack an egg into each hole and swirl it out a bit (the best tasting ones are just gently moved around instead of scrambling the egg).
  6. Put your pan into the oven and cook for 20-25 minutes.

Visual Tutorial

    1.   Spiralize the zucchini.

Spiralizing

2.   Swirl the zucchini into holes/place into muffin pan.

Spiralized Zoodles

2.   Crack an egg into each hole.

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3.   Bake for 20-25 minutes and then pop them out. Can be stored in the fridge for at least a week (mine were gone after that).

Zucchini Donuts

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Faster by the Dozen: Baked Eggs

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Baked eggs have a special little spot in my fridge that constantly gets refilled.

 Admittedly that spot changes all of the time because I share the fridge with three other people so items move as fast as the Jews. I am one by blood so I can mock this.

Every time I feel lacking in nutrients or a deep hunger craving hits I can just take one out, salt it/paprika it and then pop it right inside me. They also can be blissfucked into an egg salad or stuffed into a raw avocado. They’re especially great when you get tipsy and all food, even Taco Bell food, suddenly seems appealing.

Those mind barriers dropping. I swear I could help ADHD drop those horrid procrastinating fears by convincing society to let us be drunk all the time. I’ll even swear on dark raspberry chocolate laced in broccoli (cuz who cares if that dies?)

Eating a baked egg gives you one of those life moments where you have to remember back to your past self and shake your head with little glares. How have I not been baking a dozen perfect eggs into my mouth for so many years (or minutes depending on your age of course…what? We have baby robots by now somewhere)?

Admittedly I’ve still had the white stick to the shell in about a 15thish of the eggs I’ve peeled. Those moments are still far more rare than my boiling egg days.

What will truly have you leaving boiling eggs to the friend zone is that baking eggs is far less timely and you are brought to full completion far more often. I mean the eggs are. 

Eggs are that food everyone agrees is healthy, almost. It is closer than the agreement about all other foods so let’s just count it.

It turns out the yolks actually have the most nutrients though, so please don’t just eat the whites. If you are that odd then please send me the yolks and I’ll send some calorie free water to you in compensation.

Baked Eggs Necessities:

A Cupcake/Muffin Pan

Eggs (I trust Happy Egg Co and my farmer’s market for delicious mouth and mind eggs)

An Oven

For the Love of Baked Eggs:

  1. Turn your oven to 320 degrees
  2. Wait for your oven to reach 320 degrees
  3. Put your eggs into a cupcake or muffin tin (however many you want) and put them into the oven.
  4. TinsGo play an ARAM for 30 minutes, or read a book. (Let the eggs bake for 30 minutes, but at 26 minutes prepare an ice bath)
  5. Take eggs out of the oven and use tongs
  6. Tongsto immediately put the eggs into an ice bath. Turn them into a painting at this point.
  7. Ice bathWait until cool enough to handle and transfer to fridge. You can peel them now and store but I like to keep them in the shell for self pleasure and it makes me feel like they last longer.

How to: Travel like a Healthy Human

I‘ve now been on a real food low carb eating lifestyle for two years now (mostly). My body and mind now know what it feels like to cheat and react with sickening stomach quakes or mental ick fields of muddled connections. I’m on these lifestyles to combat mental illnesses that I’ve struggled with ever since I was twelve and downed three energy drinks laced with sour patch kids every day. When that high no longer got me going I dipped sugar cubes into icing.

Maybe I’m preset to get those illnesses or maybe they’re from those mind altering chemicals.

I had the energy drinks/various sugar highs when my brain was developing, and maybe it developed with them to the point it glitched. The ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts all leave when I go at least three days without cheating, and I continue to not connect to those mental disorders as long as I don’t cheat.

I mostly stick to my diet when on vacation through my traveling fat bombs or just by finding my own foods.

At a cafe I got an omelette and my twin got french toast with peanut butter bacon and bananas.

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Yesterday I cheated because there were caramels coated in chocolate with salt dredgings.

I love those things. Despite my mind saying those things will hurt my body didn’t listen. My mind gave in to just one. Then two and then three. Then I drank some Kahlua white russian with a side of wine.

This pain seared right behind my ears. This used to happen all the time before I went on keto/paleo and if I don’t cheat it goes away. I’ve linked it to being too much sugar and especially too much wine. My twin, Abbey, still deals with the pain, in the same spot, on occasion.

My OCD tinkered last night and I could not stop arranging the cars in our Magic game to line up with the tiles on the table. I couldn’t untrap those connections. I could not connect away/think of anything else but making the lines on the cards line up with the other lines. Consuming consumption. I was even aware of what was happening and was unable to control it.

This morning I was still pretty trapped and had to find a way to release that entrapment of connections.

I have an identical twin that still struggles with all of these things and continues to eat grains and processed foods. Grr.

This morning I just wanted to feel sane and in control again. I resorted to an offbeat of my dandelion greens salad. 

For Uplifting Mind Tingles
For Uplifting Mind Tingles

For the Salad:

Dandelion Greens

Lemon

Cucumber (optional)

Salt

Pepper

Very Dark Chocolate

Directions:

Turn into salad. Yes eat the peel and pulp, ultimate mind tingles.

Another item that really helps prevent cheating is a liquid carrier. This bottle is my bliss.

I go on no physical ventures without this dripping beauty wetting my sprog and body. Ever since I drank from the crisp inner wells the desire has never left and never has that taste faltered no matter what goes in it.

S'Well

 I generally do water with extracts (guide to come) or tea or coffee. All without sugar.

Random Professional Human Tips:

  1. Carry around a bottle of oil (coconut, various). If coconut pour add to coffee, others add to salads or whatever your mind body desires.
  2. Bring mind food for road trips: kale, spinach, chard, green things.
  3. Drink a ton of water.
  4. Bring extracts.
  5. Bring tobacco if you like it.
  6. Learn drinks you can have at any bar. I do a gin and soda water with lime.