Tag Archives: foodporn

Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup : Paleo and Low Carb

At this point I fear everything in a can but coconut milk, and I’m just avoiding that thought. There’s even three coconut milk DIY recipes stored in my head, but the first recipe I attempted chugged up the coconut shreds to the top of the blender. I thought I messed up and just stored the concoction in my fridge to be resumed later.

Later turned to a week later and by then it was sour to the immediate realization of my nose upon opening the bottle. My defiant mouth tried anyway and spat it out. I recently learned it lasts for about three days and you’re supposed to strain out the shreds of coconut. With this confession you’ve been my priest and I can be cleansed of coconut sins. Thank you. I shall resume coconut milk making once the last three cans have been used.

When it comes to ketchup I not only fear the bottled Heinz version, but also fear the cans of paste required in most recipes. I’ve already made an heirloom marinara, can free, but I recently wondered if ketchup was possible too. If it just involved the same concept of simmering out the water then of course it was possible. Ketchup is like marinara but you replace the water with vinegar.

Then I found this fabulous recipe and grew very excited. I didn’t female hulk from the bliss, but there was definitely some magic beanstalks forming into lightbulbs. Slow cooker ketchup was already on the Internet and I didn’t have to guess my blissing way into failed attempts. Even more enticing:

This recipe could be so easily turned to fall with pumpkin spice!

What you really want in your mouth is that taste of vinegar fondling tomatoes for hours and hours. Then you reach ultimate tomato vinegar mating bliss ketchup. Cinnamon, allspice, cloves and nutmeg only enhance the earthy essence of tomatoes. All of these spices are packed with nutrients we need to build our immune systems and fight the Fall of sickness away. This ketchup makes amazing meatloaf (recently discovered) and can easily be used for parsnip chips or tofu french fries, avocado fries or mixed into guacamole. Just let your mind run free in ketchup possibility. 

If you run out of time in the day and want to fall asleep after a deep massage with a homemade massage bar, then you can pour the ketchup into a vessel, I used a cake pan, and resume the next morning.

There are several ways to make this mouthblissing ketchup depending on mouth and time desires.

In happy diet news you can serve this to any of your human friends as it is low carb, vegan, vegetarian, paleo, primal, atkins, whole 30, all natural, gluten free, sugar free, nutfree, and dairy free. Phew. Way too many diets to keep up with now. I like to just call it human friendly.

Warped

Ingredients for Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup:

1 TBS Pumpkin Spice

2 Pounds Tomatoes (about five cups)

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

(I used bourbon Apple Cider Vinegar and Red Wine with Delicious Results)

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt

1 Cinnamon Stick (optional)

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

For A Whole Spice Version:

2 Pounds Tomatoes

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt
2 Crushed Cinnamon Sticks
1/2 Tsp Cloves
1 Tsp Allspice
1 Crushed Nutmeg 

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

 
 
Directions:
 
 (If you have time to blend the tomatoes after one hour for spices to really seep in):
 
1. Chop up tomatoes and drop into your slow cooker with the salt.
2. Cook tomatoes on high for one hour and then immersion blend the tomatoes. This can splatter so either do this shirtless or wear an apron and use the Low setting.
or
Alternate 2. Skip immersion blending and just add all ingredients to the slow cooker and proceed to step 3.
3. Add the spices by putting all but the cinnamon and nutmeg into a nut bag or cheesecloth tied into a bag, and add them to the slow cooker.
4.  Cover with vinegar and make sure bag is covered by the tomatoes.
5. Add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
6.  Cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off.
 
7.  Remove spices and leave chunky or blend in batches for smoother ketchup.
Visual Tutorial:
Chop up the tomatoes.

Add tomatoes to the slow cooker with the dash of salt.
After one hour on high heat immersion blend the tomatoes.
Put the all spices, but for the cinnamon and nutmeg, into a nutbag or tied up cheesecloth.
Add the bag, then add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
Cook on low with the lid off for 6-8 hours.

Blend into ketchup or store as is after removing spices.
Alternate Directions:
 

 
 
(Just add all to the slow cooker and blend at the end)
 
 
 
1.  Chop up tomatoes and add to slow cooker.
2.  Coat with a tablespoon of pumpkin spice and dash of salt.
3.  After one hour: blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick
or
Alternate 3.  Add the vinegar and cinnamon stick and cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off. (Skip the immersion blending)
4.  Unplug the slow cooker and let cool until no longer hot to the touch.
5.  Blend the mixture in batches for a less chunky version and store in the fridge.
Visual Tutorial
 
Add tomatoes to the slow cooker:

Add spices and after one hour immersion blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick.

Store as is after slow cooking on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off or blend.

For Abbeast

Advertisements

Coffee Truffles

Coffee Truffles

Chocolate and coffee is one of those magical mystery rides that you want to burst out singing for, and even let the taste get stuck in your head for years.

There are 200,000,000 Googly results if you ask it about the two together. That antioxidant burst of nutrients also works for the mind and even goes into my favorite field of study (since I’m going into it 😉 ) the neurosciences. It stimulates everyone’s favorite hormone: dopamine. The pleasure hormone as it is commonly slanged. “Chocolate may be used by some as a form of self-medication for dietary deficiencies (eg, magnesium) or to balance low levels of neurotransmitters involved in the regulation of mood, food intake, and compulsive behaviors (eg, serotonin and dopamine)” (Bruinsma 1999). This study was used to determine if chocolate is just a food or if it could be a drug. I so desperately love and crave chocolate to be inside me that it’s obvious why a study would jump the idea. Lady time is associated with the craves though, and since we lose so much iron and magnesium it could explain the correlation found between the two by Bruinsma.

Since I’m all iron and magnesium deficient chocolate is daily put in my mouth.

The taste never fades in its harmony and earthy depths, but at times…all the time, I experiment with what flavors can enhance its bounty of taste. Almond butter and coffee is already among my top mouth loves, so why not add coffee to chocolate? All three hasn’t been done yet but as soon as my macadamia nuts arrive a new recipe is coming to your mouths.

Cold Brew Raw Truffles Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

1/4 to 1/4 Cup Ratio of Cocoa Powder to Coconut Oil

Plus

1 Teaspoon Cocoa Powder (per teaspoon of extra liquid such as cold brew)

1 Teaspoon of Cold Brew Coffe

1/2 Teaspoon Coconut Sugar/Honey (paleo) or Erythitrol (keto

1/4 Teaspoon Vanilla

1/2 Teaspoon Cinnamon (optional)

Note: You could use regular coffee most likely but cold brew basically functions as coffee extract

To Make Cold Brew Coffee Latte Truffles:

Fold in a tablespoon of coconut cream or coconut milk

Directions:

  1. Combine all of the above ingredients with your hands. (If you are scared of your hands turn into a bird)
  2. Roll into truffles and coat with cocoa powder or more coconut sugar or both.
  3. Consume or store in the fridge.

P.s. You could also put these into any silicone mold and they’ll pop right out into mouth bliss as well.

Secondary p.s.: use an abrasive material to wash hands or thoroughly lick them.

Visual Tutorial

Chocolate Mold

Cold Brew Coffee Truffles

Watermelon Radish Mindtini Touched by Feta

Sometimes elegant simplicity is all that we want inside us. We don’t want to slave away for hours just to get one tiny mouthgasm. What we want is to lovingly create mouthbliss with a few strokes of a knife into some radishes and a squeeze of juice on the top. Lemon juice with pepper and salt to bring it all together. Then we add the final white layer of cheese and put in a martini class to be very, very fancy. We then consume for mind shattering lifts.

Mindtini

This is another taste your brain most likely doesn’t know. It will be alright my lovers because we are going to give you familiar ingredients to pair the bitter with. What raw ingredients give your mind is a bright bliss flavor that does not compare to cooked food. I still love cooked food and still fear sauntering into a full on raw diet, at least for a while. Each time I get over bitter though, and embrace raw foods, my mind and body are never disappointed.

It was a very groggy mind day when I decided to put this inside me and oh did it brighten my sprog right up. Seriously though, it cleared me right out and the day was just a bright bliss of mind control.

The whole tini is rich in Vitamin C with moments of Vitamin A, E, calcium, folate and iron. All ready to connect you to life.

What you will need:

Watermelon Radish Mindtini
Watermelon Radish Mindtini Ingredients

One watermelon radish chopped into bite sized pieces

Half a cup of feta or goat cheese (I recommend feta but goat gives a more creamy mouth time)

Half a teaspoon of salt

The juice of one lemon (yes the whole thing. You want that full flavor)

1/4 a teaspoon of pepper

Tablespoon of oil (optional, to drink from the bottom once the salad flavors leak in, but it doesn’t stick to the radishes)

To Make:

Combine the above and place into a martini. Then put in a bowl because you have to stab it pretty hard.

Macros: Calories: 192.3g Fat: 18g, Total Carbs: 4g, Net Carbs: 2g, Protein: 6g

Watermelon Radish Mindtini by Mindlifting Mouthgasms
Watermelon Radish Mindtini by Mindlifting Mouthgasms

Disclaimer: Unless you find humanely raised cheese dairy is not paleo. Here is a great article on it.

Simple Baked Egg and Broccoli

Oh the beautiful beautiful egg. Somehow even it was demonized in the so called health movement of America. We tossed it in the trash we did. Just the yellow though, we kept the white. Sigh. We are so racist.

Eggs hold a vital nutrient for your sprog. B12 is essential for brain functioning and boosts cognition as well as memory. We want as many of these things inside us as possible.

Now broccoli is another gorgeous story for our bodies and minds. Have you heard about the recent scare of not getting enough vitamin D in our days? Apparently we are not out in the sun enough. This deficiency can lead to depression.

On the days I felt moped out I would just go sit clothless in the sun and soak it in. After about thirty minutes there was definitely more sprite to my thoughts. Broccoli is soaked in vitamin D and completely ready for you. In a super simple recipe no less. If you have a mini casserole dish.

First of all you’ll need to bake some eggs. If you go ahead and bake twelve as well as get a large hunk of broccoli you can have lunch for a week. Your body gets to learn and adapt to those nutrients to the point they will taste like creamy crunchy heaven. That’s what happened for me at least.

Baking eggs might sound new to you. Alton Brown lays it all out for you and I have the link ready for you in the recipe below. It makes a creamy egg and you can cook so many at once. It’s the only method I use now.

Egg Bake

Ingredients:

Broccoli

Baked or Boiled Egg (learn how to bake eggs here)

Dashes of Paprika

Dashes of Salt

Directions:

Set over to 300 degrees.

Put the above ingredients in a mini casserole dish.

Put the casserole dish in the over once it has heated.

Let set in over for fifteen minutes.

Eventually vary up the spices to your mind’s possibilities and let me know your favorites =)

Macros

Calories: 119.2g, Total Fat: 5.5g, Total Carb: 10, Net Carbs: 5.4

Brazilian Nut Butter Tutorial

Good (time of day you read this),

A time ago I learned how to make nut butters. This was life changing empowerment for my mouth. I started with some almond butter with Sonia as my nutty butter guide. Then she showed me how to turn hazelnuts smooth as well. Finally it was time to spread my human arms and make a nut butter that the Internet barely knows. The Brazilian. If we love the wax we must as well take on the butter. You could even have it as an after wax cocktail treat.

Brazilian nuts are definitely a mind treat as they contain copper as well as manganese. Both of these, if added to your brain too much, can lead to issues. Deficiencies are actually rare unless you;re nutrient deprived. If you’re with me in America then I’m sorry to tell you but you might just be nutrient deprived. It’s okay though. You can get nutrients from food. Even the food below.

Manganese is linked to memory and deprivation in it can lead to severe memory loss. With it though, we can create memory machines. Copper is known as a brain food and stimulates the brain all over. Hello life connections.

To just bliss your mind even more they contain magnesium. Magnesium is vital to human functioning and most Americans are deficient in it. This can lead to anxiety as well as sleep issues. Due to the way magnesium binds to phosphates in soda you can be nulling the magnesium you do consume by drinking soda and flushing it out of your system. Read more on it here if your mind desires.

Now this is probably a nut your mouth doesn’t know. Because of that it is scared and might make you think it bitter or odd. So first of all take one of those raw nuts and just pop it right in your mouth.

For your mouth brain
For your mouth brain

Then you’ll probably want to chew and consume.

Next you’ll want to put all your ingredients onto a fancy cutting board: A tablespoon of oil (coconut, walnut, pistachio or olive if you have no other choice), 1/2 a teaspoon of salt, 1 vanilla bean and 3 cups of Brazilian nuts.

Brazilian Nut Butter Ingredients
Brazilian Nut Butter Ingredients

Then you’ll want to go ahead and toast those nuts for about three minutes over medium high heat until you can smell their aroma release.

Toasted Brazilian Nuts
Toasted Brazilian Nuts

Then you’ll go ahead and process them. You could also shake off the skin like Sonia does with hazelnuts, but I didn’t feel like doing that.

This can be a bit time intensive, especially if you are using a hand processor. I finally splurged and got a Hamilton Beach one with scrapy sides. I only used the 1 power setting though to see how long it would take at a weaker setting.

Hazelnut Butter Time Lapse
Hazelnut Butter Time Lapse

Usually nut butters can take ages but this nut is just meant to be buttered. Six minutes and it’s delightfully creamy.

My mouth was still a bit confused at the taste and although it has delightful earthy textures I wanted to add some magnesium and iron so I added two teaspoons of cocoa powder. It brought out some deep earth tones so I highly recommend it. You could even do it at the beginning.

Then you make a cocktail out of it. Because nut butter cocktails are the only morning cocktails allowed. Until I return to Key West. While there I did learn not to have coffee and rum together at 10 AM though.

Brazilian Nut Butter Cocktail
Brazilian Nut Butter Cocktail
Braziliant Nut Butter Cocktail
Braziliant Nut Butter Cocktail

Then I suppose you could spoon it into a jar. This is how full it gets if you sacrifice about a teaspoon to the counter and a half of one to the floor.

Recipe:

Ingredients:

3 Cups of Brazilian Nuts

1 Vanilla Bean Scraped Out (optional)

T Oil (coconut, pistachio, walnut, EVOO)

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

2 Teaspoons Cocoa Powder (optional)

Directions:

Add all of the above to a food processor and process for six minutes. Pour into jar and enjoy life

These are actually incredibly low carb at 6 net carbs per cup =D

Macros:

Entire Jar:

Fat: 560.8g Total Carb: 86.4 g Net Carbs: 28.8 Protein 115.2 g

Estimated Per 2 Tablespoons:

Net Carbs: 75g, Fat: 11g Protein: 2.375 g

Dandelion Salad for Uplifting Mind Tingles

Greetings WordPressers/Interneters,

I’m Ainsley and I’ve been following a primal/keto diet for about a year now. At first it was just to try it but I got addicted to not being addicted to food. Food would taste bland when I was full and delicious when I wasn’t. My body communicated with me. I also deal with a few mental disorders that I’ve found to be controlled and even leave when I stick to the primal lifestyle that return when I cheat.

A few weeks ago I cheated and this was the salad that brought me out of it with the most blissful of mind tingles.

Dandelion and Lemon Cherry Salad

Bliss Juice and Spices
Bliss Juice and Spices

The Recipe:

1 Cup Dandelion Greens

Juice of Half a Lemon

Cracking Swirl of Pepper

4 Cherries Carved into Pieces

T Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Directions:

Turn the above into a salad.

Recipe Macros: Total Carbs: 10.2 G, Net Carbs: 7.4 Protein: 1 G, Fat: 28 G