Tag Archives: healthyfat

Chocolate Frog Massage Bars

Finger Licking Melting Chocolate

Apparently Daniel Radcliffe is ‘finally’ going to branch out from Harry Potter. Nevermind the fact his tree has already cracked off several branches that he speared through his skin to the skull and crafted them into Horns. Oh you don’t know of his strip from Harry down to Alan Strange in my favorite play, Equus?

This man has made himself bare for us in the sake of horses and mental disorderment.

He has caught a snitch with such erupting laughter I see the memory like a vivid happiness right now. He conquered a dragon people. With another dragon. That’s cool no matter what realm you’re in.

Then to mention the fact he is from my favorite childhood novel while his doppelganger (they switch this role), was in my twin’s favorite novel. We decided she got to love Lord of the Rings while I got to have Harry Potter. We both are enamored by each other’s mythical worlds as well, but I’ve poured into the Harry Potter Books with only a pensieve and wand to get me out. She’s read all of J.R. Tolkien and seen every extended and behind the scenes moments of the movies. She also plans to build Hobbiton, had a Lord of the Rings Wedding:

LOTR Twin Collage

Then Went to New Zealand for the Honeymoon:

New Zealand Collage

,and has a tattoo in Elvish that says ‘Not all who wonder are lost’. All I’ve done is deeply contemplated writing fan fiction. Until now. Now I have the power of food. Pumpkin pasties and pumpkin juice will be on this page soon.

In dedication to the sheer wonders of this man I give you chocolate frog massage bars in a celebrational gesture of his merging personalities on the screen.

If you are living in the loving yourself single realm then I invite you to watch Equus clips on YouTube with one of these bars right next to you.

The chocolate bar will get you very messy so lick off immediately. I love deep messiness and deep chocolate so I’ll stick to it, but if you want a clear coat then go for the white chocolate frog. I promise though, once you go dark frog you never go back.

Now if you can handle chocolate without any sugar, like a full on human beast, then do not add sugar and have a completely warm and wet experience. The sugar adds an exfoliant depth to the bar.

Final Chocolate Massage Bars

Dark Chocolate Frog Massage Bar

1/2 Cup Cocoa Paste

1/2 Cup Coconut Oil

1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder

Dash Salt

1 Tsp Sweetener

(coconut sugar for paleo or erythitol for keto)

White Chocolate Massage Bar

1 Cup Cocoa Butter

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil

1 Teaspoon of Sweetener

Dash of Salt

Directions forBoth Massage Bars

Totally Look Like Frogs

  1. Take a double broiler, or a saucepan with water in it and a bowl on top, (you do not want the water to touch the bowl, even at a simmer, as it will burn the chocolate).
  2. Bring the water to a simmer (do not let it boil) and let the cocoa paste melt. This can take about ten minutes so constantly watch and stir. Youtube and Instagram are acceptable distractions.
  3. Once the paste has melted stir in the sweetener and salt.
  4. Let the paste rest for about five minutes/until you can touch it without pain.
  5. Use your hands and mix the cocoa powder and coconut oil into the paste.
  6. Pour into silicone mold of some sort (I used a donut pan).

At this point you can store the bars in the fridge and use them in whatever shape they go cold in or take them out of the fridge once solid and let them come to room temperature. At this point you can mold them into shapes but do put them back in the fridge again as they will melt about 75 degrees.

The Beforehand (get it?????). The left side of the screen is the dark chocolate melted and the right is the white one.

Beforehand

I forgot to take an after but my hand was very clean on both sides.

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Low Carb and Paleo Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs

Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs

The perfect substitute for spaghetti and meatballs has been approved by mu mouth.

This spaghetti squash and meatballs bowl is so easy and so delicious. It even takes just as much work as pasta if not less.

Just pop your squash into a slow cooker, or the oven, and cook up your marinara when it’s near ready, and combine. I even use the spaghetti squash as a bowl and just pull the noodles out with my fork as I eat.

Many people just toss in a jar of marinara or spaghetti sauce, but I highly request you try making it fresh. You’ll get to choose your own flavors, the fresh taste bursts through, and it is so much fun to cook.

You even get to use a wok, but a high sided pan works just as well if you don’t have one.

The tomatoes and spices here really reach some earthy and satisfying notes with that Italian brightness we’ve come to love so much.

Ingredients:

1 Recipe of Spaghetti Squash

1/2 of Heirloom Marinara Recipe per Whole Spaghetti Squas

1 T Grassfed Butter or Avocado Oil/Coconut Oil/EVOO

1/2 Pound Grassfed Meat (I used a  primal blend of organ meats for full satisfaction)

Meatball Spice:

Can vary into any spices you want. (Here’s a great list for keto and here’s a great list for paleo meatballs)

I used a combination of salt, pepper, Worcestershire, and coriande

You want to salt the meatballs after they’re in balls to keep the moisture in.

Directions

  1. Let your meat rest for thirty minutes for even temperature heating and because Alton Brown says to.
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare your spaghetti squash (cut in half, scoop out seeds and add oil). You can also poke 10 holes in your squash, pop the whole squash into the slow cooker and cook on low for 4 to 6 hours.
  3. Heat up your oil in a wok or high sided pan. Once heated sear meatballs on all sides.
  4. Remove the meatballs from your wok/pan and set aside.
  5. Put the spaghetti squash into the oven and set a timer for 30 minutes.
  6. Create the marinara sauce and when you get to ‘simmer for twenty minutes’ add the meatballs and stir the sauce over them.
  7. Remove the squash after 30 minutes and let cool for about five minutes minimum (this is as long as I ever wait).
  8. Fork about half of the squash into strings and add in your sauce and meatballs.

Macros:

For Marinara:

Total Fat: 7g, Potassium: 17.1mg, Total Carbs: 3.5g, Net Carbs: .9, Protein: 1.9g

For Half a Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 5g, Net Carbs: 4g, Sugars: 1g

To Reheat

Reheat

  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Combine your squash, marinara and meatballs.
  3. Put onto a baking pan or any pan and reheat for about 18-23 minutes. Add more oil if you want it to be more saucy.

Maybe

How to: Make Spaghetti Squash

30 Minutes Spagetti Squash

I have some memories of pasta on cold nights of childhood.

Meatballs and sauce soaking long noodles that I struggled to look proper with. My pinkie did not stay up (did you know that originated as a level of drunkenness test?). I remember loving the meatballs the most and being sure to beg father for extras. Otherwise, in pasta food memories, I would order at an Italian restaurant, and that meant pasta. I bet they’d have a pasta dessert if they could.

Angel hair baked in lemon surrounding a toffee chocolate ball anyone?

 Chicken Alfredo was my favored pasta dish. Once I left the nest I only feasted on 30 second macaroni bowls, the Kraft ones. I loved those more than the grass water I used to boil. Yeah…I’m that much of a fairy and loved grass. One day I went outside and picked some, boiled it, and drank. I remember that so vividly. It was so liquidgasming.

Fresh, and like drinking the smell of mowed grass.

I found pasta annoying otherwise, except for Ramen. The weight and mental issues I gained in college make so much sense when I see them typed out on this screen. The Ramen was totally made healthier with chunks of celery and carrots though 😉 .  Ever since going low carb high fat pasta and rice have been mouth banned, and never really missed. They’re just fillers and bacon and butter fill you more. Then one night, at some point in the past, I tried Spaghetti Squash. It was odd but I became ravenous for it and started eating it all the time. This was mostly because I was the only one eating keto and my lover didn’t want it so it entered me often. A full squash makes about four meals. I stored half in the fridge and it lasted for a week. The taste was changed everyday. One day it would have marinara on it one day, lemon pepper the next day, cheddar cheese with Italian spices, and finally a chocolate cinnamon with berries. That one is magical.

All vegetables are basically incredibly nutritious for us, especially those found above the ground. Embrace the caveside.

(The brologic being since our ancestors had access to it then it is most likely what we are meant to eat)

Foods naturally accessible to us just work because no matter how much we try to disconnect from this earth we still need it to survive. Just one night try spaghetti squash over your pasta and see if you can feel and taste the way your body takes it in. Feel the difference.

Away from bro logic it is way easier and more delicious to reheat than noodles. I’ve used both cast iron and flames as well as microwave and both reheat it to the same texture.

 Spaghetti Parts

Buy or Grow a Spaghetti Squash (local farmer’s markets have these right now too, go interact with your food maker)

Locate 2 T of Oil (Look for dark bottled EVOO that has been cold pressed)

Large Glass Baking Dish

Oven

To Create Spaghetti

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees.
  2. Cut the Spaghetti Squash in Half (Spaghetti squash are very hard and need extra muscle power. Activate beast mode for this part). I leave the stem on to use as a  grip.
  3. StabScoop out the innards with your hands and put them aside. Take a low quality picture and turn the picture into a painting and hope no one notices. You can roast the seeds or just eat them raw. You can also eat the innards
  4. Remove the InnardsDrizzle the squash in oil and then rub that wet goodness all over its insides.
  5. Dripping OilPut the squash face side down in a baking dish (or on top of a baking pan) and put the whole thing in the oven.
  6. Glass TimeLet it spaghetti up for 30-35 minutes. (If you forget about it, like me, put it in the fridge for about an hour otherwise it is too soft to perform).
  7. Fork it/scrape prongs across the insides until they turn to spaghetti.
  8. ForkingLeave the spaghetti in and use the shell as a bowl or store for up to a week in the fridge.

Spaghetti Squash Tutorial

Nutritional Breakdown: Pasta vs Spaghetti Squash

Serving Size: 140g:

Whole Wheat Pasta:

Total Fat: 1g, Total Carb: 37g, Sugars: 1g Iron 8%DV

Servings Size: 155g

Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 10g, Net Carbs: 8g, Sugars: 4g, Vitamin A, Iron and Calcium: 3%, Vitamin c 9%DV

Cocomacanut Traveling Fat Bomb

The sound for this taste is lorsmun with a bliss tinkerings bracing the lor and leading into the smu. A mind lifting purr of pleasure.

I’ve made many a fat bomb in my little existence. In oddity I’ve never made macadamia butter into these mouthgasms. Strange due to my deep love of the macadamia. You can taste the satisfying pour of fats from its goddess insides into your mouth. It doesn’t even know me so this love is purely from my mind to yours. I daresay I’m killing more by telling you this so I’m being quite cruel to my love.

I even want all mouths to experience her deepest moments.

Traveling fat bombs are so ingenious I still barely believe I came up with them. It was purely by change really. I made energy bites from All Day I Dream About Food and then put them in an empty coffee can from Trader Joe’s. I then put some pistachio fat bombs from The Healthy Foodie on top of those and then off to the rolling road I went. The trip wound up being longer than expected and I was hungry. I tried a two day car heated fat bomb and found it even more delicious than when it was ripe from the fridge. The flavors had soaked and warmed together to bring out new notes of flavors and they melted into my tongue.

They wound up lasting five days and still being incredible.

Since then I’ve just analyzed into a simple noticement. None of the ingredients have a short shelf life.

Since this discovery I never take a roadtrip without a jar of traveling fat bombs goodness. I actually sometimes leave a jar in the car just in case sporadic hunger hits at any traveling moment. This one beasts the Brazillian nut coffee bomb so hard though. Try this one first and tell your mouth to thank me ;). Really you should think the macadamia though, but I’m sure we can have a threesome.

The base recipe.

The Inner Moments

3/4 Cup Roasted Macadamia Butter (How to: Make Your Own)

1/4 Cup Coconut Butter (How to: Make Your Own)

 2 T Coffee (Quality matters, I used a delightful coldbrew but a Chemex or French Press would do well)

1/4 Cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut (Optional)

1/4 teaspoon ceylon cinnamon up to 1 teaspoon based on preference (Start small, taste, increase if desired)

1/4 teaspoon vanilla (I used Madagascar bourbon vanilla)

To Make it Come

Together

Pulse the above together in a food processor to desired consistency and store in a fresh jar, or reuse nut butter jar.

Macadamia and Coconut Fat Bomb Final

The Traveling Fat Bombs

IMG_20150801_222413 (1)

Have you ever done the deed? Have you ever cheated?

I know that cinnamon roll was tempting you. It called out your name and offered sweet pleasure. It just begged to be inside you.
That Starbucks frappacinno was dripping for you and she doesn’t get wet for just anyone.
That potato was even hard for you. How could you not let something so hard, just for you, inside you?

Don’t worry I have the solution and it is even more delicious. Traveling healthyfat fatbombs. They’re dripping with coffee and hardened by oils. Lick them and taste delicious extracts. They even last for days and can be fully enjoyed for just one if you desire. Then store them away until you want them again.

The largest cheating epidemic we face in keto/paleo/primal land is when we travel. When you get hungry those inhibitions flounder and there is rarely a kombucha or bulletproof coffee stream nearby. On keto you can go for lettuce wraps at fast food joins but in paleo land we avoid fast food at all 99 cents costs. There is way too much nonflower-raised, fake nutrients, in those joints. Every time I try to go for fast food now I get sick and then hungry again five minutes later. I really miss you In-N-Out. I never wanted it to be this way. Our love was meant to be forever. Torchy’s bowls and Chipotle still give mouthgasms every time.

Traveling Keto/Paleo Friendly Foods:

Boiled Eggs: Last two days

Baked Eggs: Alton Brown recipe here. Makes 12 perfect eggs or more.

Grassfed Jerky: Noms

Kale: Lasts two days

Spinach: Lasts the car ride

Nut Butters: Woot

Coconut Butter: Infinite mouth lasting time

Ghee: Delicious healthy fat that also lasts a long time

Coconut Oil: Another delicious healthy fat you can just scoop out and consume

Canned Fish: Quality matters

Canned Meats in General: Go for organic to maintain paleo

Nuts: Same as nut butters

Broccoli/Cauliflower/Radishes: Last four days. For mndgasming.

Paleo Exclusive: Potatoes/Other Root Veggies: Last many days and if you’re a beast can be eaten raw

The Traveling Fat Bombs

What I prefer to do is mix my fats together into a travel friendly jar. These jars don’t have any refrigeration necessary items so they’ve lasted me up to months in the cupboard. I usually keep them in the fridge until travel time just in case though. In the car they’ve been heated in Texas sun and are still delicious the next day. I enjoy most edibles and liquids at varying temperatures though so your mouth might have to adapt in ways mine already loves.

You don’t necessarily need fat bombs on your keto or paleo journey but if you’re in keto you need to get your energy from fats. If you’re into paleo then by now you have most likely embraced fats in all their satisfying glory as well. These bombs don’t have to be for travel and can just be scooped and nommed at any point of the day. I generally have a bomb before work to avoid cheating. There’s loaded fries at work.

Basic Recipe:

1 Cup Nut Butter, 1/2 Cup Coconut Butter or Oil, 1/4 Cup Liquid, Teaspoon of Extract. Process and make bombs or put in jar.

Optional Add Ins: Coconut Flakes, whole nuts, various things I can’t think of right now

For this Recipe:

I combined coffee and peanut butter, a deep mouth love of mine. I highly recommend mating the two at some point in your life. You also get your caffeine in while traveling.

Ingredients:

Travel Ingredients

1/2 Cup Homemade Brazilian Nut Butter (Recipe here)

1/2 Cup Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter

1/4 Cup Coffee (Quality matters, flavor comes through. I used a French Pressed one)

1 Teaspoon Neilsen Massey Bourbon Vanilla Extract (Quality/Flavor comes through)

Directions:

Put all ingredients in a food processor and pulse to combine.

Store in same jar you took the nut butter from or turn into mustaches.

Traveling Fat Bombs

Jar Time

Yields 24 Tablespoon size servings:

Macros: Total Fat: 10.7g Total Carb: 2.23g Net Carb: 1.84, Protein: 1.57g