Tag Archives: jerf

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

The bitter burst of winter clove is tamed into a bursting warmth of earth flavor in these coconut butter, pumpkin and clove cookies. 

I entered a cookie swap this year as a way to insert this little blog into the world. It is growing up and I think it is time for a coming out shindig with clove dresses and cookie hair pieces. There would be top hats with an extra brim in the form of a bowl that you could go around with while party people snatched up cookies at their mouth’s desire. 

You might think in your sprog that a little low carb and paleo human could not be part of a cookie swap, but it worked out super well. I was sent delicious almond cookies, ginger snap cookies, and some other cookies that accidentally fell to the ground after my roomies dogs figured out how to knock them from the table. 

Cocobutter Pumpkin Cookies

I can’t wait for the day where food has no labels but for being food. I can add so many diet labels to these when in reality all they are is coconut butter and pumpkin sweetly molded together with a burst of clove. So simple and yet so bold.

When only going for the qualitiest of ingredients one must learn how to be simple with recipes.

Even adding salt can flow out the pennies from your wallet, but when every ingredient is delicious you also get the best flavors. There is no compensation or need to hide any ingredient. Instead you can feature the ingredients and let them burst into yours and your guest’s mouths.

Coconut butter is a newer trend and is still costing a pretty penny to purchase, but making your own is super easy if you have time and a food processor or blender. You could also use a nut butter for these if you don’t feel like venturing into the delicious land of the coconut. Coconut lends a delicious level of sweet that is so natural you’ll want to turn into a cavewoman. There is no point to adding sweetener when you have the coconut. If you’re scared to venture out then you can go ahead and add the coconut sugar or honey, but I suggest trying them without it and sprinkling some on top if you change your mind. That way you get to try them without the sweetener but can still safely add some if you change your mind.

These cookies are also low carb, vegan, egg free, vegetarian, paleo, AIP friendly, Paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free, sugar free, nut free, and fodmap friendly. Serve these up at any party without fear, just don’t forget the brimming cookie top hats. 

 

Yield: 2 Dozen Cookies

Ingredients:

Cocobutter Cookies Ingredients.jpg

1 Cup Coconut Butter (DIY)

1/2 Cup Pumpkin Puree (DIY)

2 Teaspoons Cloves, Crushed into Tiny Bits (or pre-ground cloves)

Whole Cloves (1-2 per Cookie)

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar or Honey (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees for a slow bake or 350 for a quickie.
  2. Beat, or use a fork, to combine the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  3. Crush fresh cloves in a mortar and pestle into coarsely ground.
  4. Beat together the cloves and coconut sugar with the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  5. Lay the cookies out on a sheet. Since there are no lifters the size you make the cookies is the size they will turn out.
  6. Bake at 200 for 45-50  minutes or 350 for 12-15 minutes.
  7. Mouthgasm.

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Preheat the oven.
  2. Beat the pumpkin puree and cocobutter together.
  3. Crush the cloves up:

Crushing Cloves

4. Combine all ingredients and then lay the cookies out onto a baking sheet:

Cookies on pan MLM

5. Press one or a couple of cloves into each cookie:

Cloved Cookie Sheet.jpg

 

 

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

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Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

Final Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

In ‘making this recipe up land’ I’ve discovered that throwing random fall spices into a slow cooker for cider feels the same as imagining out spices for baking. In your mind the flavors fuse together as you toss them into the bowl, and you can just taste the future flavors ahead. Eventually, after you experiment and come to know these slow cooker cider recipes, you can make ones that revolve around your mouth’s desires, especially if you’re like me and love tons of cinnamon in your drink (benefits of the single life do include having everything taste the way only you want, without having to care about others’ mouths).

I have  a confession you can’t tell the other white ladies. I’ve grown a bit weary of the pumpkin spice. It has been used in the slow cooker apple cider, and the cookie pumpkin dough, the pumpkin spice ketchup

 

Since time is rolling into the holidays I decided to use up the last of the spices in my little bags and see what nature could fondle together with some pears, anise, cloves, cinnamon, and why not some garam masala?

My mouth is so glad this concoction was fused together.

Pear Cider

All of the spicy sweetness you could want comes through with each sip, and you get a little twist for a holiday drink that will make all of your guests feel they’ve stepped into the great hall for a feast. If you all wear your house scarves and serve this with pumpkin pasties (coming soon 😉 , then call me so I can join.

If you want to be more traditional then you can definitely stick with the spices in the slow cooker apple cider and just substitute out the apples for pears.

Rawr

I personally prefer the pears now because they have a more seductive and deep taste that goes well with fall spices, but I’ve honestly always preferred pears to apples.

This cider is so inspiringly delicious I’ve already made a cocomilk pear spiced latte, pear spiced brownies…I totally left the oven on. Woops *texts roomy to please turn off oven*. Woot technology and slow baking(I’ve been baking at low temps lately for thorough heating and close to god level deliciousness). 

Pear cider cocomilk

Soon there will be a pear spiced cake. Keep your mouths watering. 

Pear Cider Ingredients

Ingredients:

4-5 Pears (I used bosc pears)

1 Tablespoon Whole Anise

2 Teaspoons Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Garam Masala Powder

7-9 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Compile all of your spices and pears together:

Pear Cider Ingredients

2.   Chop your pears into quarters:

Chopped Pears

3.  Put the pears into the slow cooker and fill up with water:

Into the Pot

 

4.  Dump all of your spices into a nut bag or directly into the slow cooker (to be strained out later:

IMG_20151123_192527

5.   Cook on low for six hours or high for three hours

6.   On the last hour smash the pears against the side of your slow cooker.

7.   Take out the spice bag or strain through a colander over a large pot.

8.   To serve simply warm in the slow cooker and serve to overjoyed guests.

Serve

Cocomilk (Coconut Milk) Recipe and Guide

Cocomilk Final

If you are looking for the freshest tasting coconut milk bliss then you have come to the right words. I’ve scoured the Internet cookbook, (basically food blogs) and realized there is a need for another coconut milk tutorial. When making a blog post I try to keep with ideas that are new and contribute to the world of food, rather than retell food stories that are already on the Internet or in books, and honestly there are a lot of coconut milk tutorials already all over the Internet’s pages.

 There are many cocomilk tutorials that get the basics down, but I have a few personal tips and tricks that will be valuable to your coconut milk making experience.

1.   Coconut Flake Size Matters

2.   Use Just Beneath Scalding Water (110 degrees is optimal)

3.   If You Use This Milk In Recipes Be Sure to Use the Cream

4. Vanilla Changes Everything

5.   Drink or Bake with Within Three to Four Days

6.  Use the Coconut Pulp

7.  Use a Wide Mouth Container for Storage

Raw Cocomilk

1.   The first tip is that the size of the coconut flakes matters. Obviously tiny shredded coconuts will be packed into a cup and have more coconut volume than large flakes, but I didn’t realize this until making coconut milk with the same ratio of large coconut flakes to small flakes. The result was a pretty watery milk that didn’t compare to the full on mouth bliss I’d come to know. My mouth already knew what full tasting coconut milk was, and thus could not be deceived by this coconut watery perpetrator of mouth lies.

Measuring the coconut out into grams would be an excellent way to get the right ratio for this milk, but I do not have a scale and I’m sure a lot of others don’t either. So cups it is (to be updated in the future with grams once I get a scale).

2.   You definitely want to use warm water when you make the milk because room temperature water causes the cream to stick to the edges of your blender. If you do use room temp water by accident then just use a plastic thingy to scrape out the coconut cream and add it to your cream or just eat it as is.

3.  When using this milk you really want the fullness of the flavor to come through.  The delicious fat of the milk solidifies to the top of your milk when it gets cold and forms a layer on the top. To get to the milk I just poke a hole through the cream, pour out the milk, and then add some of the cream.

4.   You can easily add other extracts, but vanilla harmonizes with coconut like a melody of a goddess.

5.   You will easily be able to smell when this milk goes sour, and it happens really quickly. This also means the flavor is incredibly fresh tasting if you consume it in time, and it will be hard not to anyways 😉

6.  I let my bag hang outside overnight and turn it into cocopulp crackers, or just use it for texture in fat bombs. There are tons of other uses for it though, such as the ones found in this word.

7.  I save up old containers and use them to store my coconut milk, apple cider or kombucha. The old Trader Joe’s jar is actually perfect for this. Use glass containers for warm liquids, but plastic is fine once they are room temperature or cold.

 

 

Ingredients:

Ingredients

1.5 – 2 Cups Shredded Unsweetened Coconut

or

3-3.5  Cups Large Flaked Unsweetened Coconut

4 Cups Barely Scalding Water/ 110 Degrees F (If boiling it could explode out of the blender)

Cheesecloth or Nut Milk Bag (I use this hemp one)

Raw Cocomilk 2

Directions:

  1. Combine your coconut and water in a high speed blender.
  2. Blend on high for a few minutes.
  3. Strain the milk through a nut milk bag (found here), or cheesecloth.
  4. If making more milk put the pulp back in your blender, add more coconut and repeat.
  5. Dry out your cocopulp by hanging the bag outside and either make coconut flour or use the pulp for texture.
  6. Drink within 3-4 days.

 

Expanded 7.

Use Me Bottles

In the fridge your coconut milk will separate and make a cream. You can whip this up for coconut whipped cream, or just add the cream into your morning warm cocomilk. (I do this a lot and just add a dash of vanilla for flavor).

Large Jar

If you use an old bottle with a short mouth the cocomilk winds up hardening and you have to either stab into the bottle with a long knife or heat up the bottle in water on the stove. I do this if I’ve run out of jars. 

Small Bottle

 

Happy cocomilking.

When finished put on fuzzy socks and go take pictures of your epicness outside.

Fuzzy

Fall Spices Ox Tail

Ox Tail Strip

Ox tail is the beast mode version of ribs. They give your mouth that delicious and intoxicating fatty moment you can’t deny you love so much. Your caveman stomach is all kinds of Ramona level happy, it’s deep but always beautiful and there just for you. Unless you aren’t Scott Pilgrim…but she may have switched lovers by now anyway

That perfect tender moment of meat with just enough strength that you can pull at it and strings of savory meat fall to your chin.

I find it so enticing that I think of it all throughout my day, just waiting to come home and put it in my mouth. Now that I’ve used up my two pounds and dropped the bones back into my slow cooker with herbs and covered it in water to make some broth  (if you follow this deep wisdom of a redhead then expect liquid heaven, we can all pretend there’s heaven for this), I know how sad it is to live in life without ox tail. 

Raw Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms (1)

My tail came from my local farmer and was cancer  free (did you hear about the report from WHO? Processed meat is officially linked to cancer.). She is actually the human who handed me my first package, like the golden ticket to my newly favored cut of meat. I remember like it’s in my memory, a white package stamped with it’s name: Ox Tail, and the price led the bottom of the paper off of the edge. I went home and followed this recipe first. A simple slow cooker Jamaican version that really needed the fresh burst of fresh herbs that my dried ones just didn’t lend.

Since fresh herbs are so expensive I knew I’d have to branch out with my next white package and go for a savory taste. 

I had just used pumpkin spice for my slowly cooked ketchup, pumpkin raw cookie dough, a couple of smoothies and some cookies. You don’t realize how much spice comes in that little container until you try and use all of it. I decided those cinnamon spices tantalized with cloves and allspice had to be used in meat. Those flavors would soak in and bring forth the depths of meat. This randomized decision led in to a fantastic finale that I’m incredibly excited to share with you, whoever you are and whoever you make it for. I’d honestly never cared so much about pumpkin spice until reading about all the immune boosting flavors of everyone’s favorite fall spices: cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves all have high levels of magnesium and other things that boost our ability to fight off colds.

These spices are only  beaten by one nutrient source and that’s organ meat. The most nutrient dense food on this planet is organ meat and all of this balanced diet talk is about eating enough nutrients to make up for those we aren’t getting from the most delicious meat there is, organ meat. 

Ox Tail really needs to be marinated for hours before it is ready to be cooked. The meat is very firm. This means that the marinade gets into the meat more than it can get into the more shallow meats. Then you very slowly cook the ox tail because it also takes longer to cook due to its rough nature. This time is very much worth it though once you get to taste ox tail. 

Raw MLM

Ingredients: Fall Spice Slow Cooker Ox Tail


2 Lbs Ox Tail

4 TBS Avocado Oil (or EVOO)

2 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce or Coconut Aminos

Tsp Salt

3/4 Tsp Crushed Cloves

1/2 Tsp Crushed Allspice

1 Nutmeg

2 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Sliced or Chopped Fresh Ginger (optional)

Leeks: As many as you can fit

After Marinade Ingredients:

1 Tbs Oil

1/2 Cup Coffee or 1/4 cup Pure Cold Brew Coffee (or water)

(without any water added)

3/4 Cups Coconut Milk or Broth

Fall Spiced Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Directions for Marinade:

  1. Place the oxtail in a large glass container or any container that can hold all of the ingredients (I’ve used a loaf pan before and covered it in foil).
  2. Squeeze lemon juice over the oxtail and discard or chop up the rind into some soda water with vodka.
  3. Rub the salt in with your hands (fair warning: make sure there’s no soap left on your hands after washing or it will leave a soapy taste in your meat).
  4. Pour the oil over the oxtail and the the Worcestershire sauce or coconut aminos.
  5. Add the onions and garlic.
  6. Let marinade in the fridge for about 24 hours or as long as you can.

Slow Cooking Directions

  1. Heat oil in a pan.
  2. Sear oxtail pieces on each side for two minutes.
  3. Put all of your marinade and the oxtail into a slow cooker.
  4. Pour in coffee or pure cold brew.
  5. Pour in coconut milk or broth.
  6. Cook on low for eight hours.

Visual Tutorial

Raw Fall Spices Ox Tail Strip MLM

Put all of the marinade ingredients and the Ox Tail into a large container after rubbing the salt into the meat

and let marinade for 24 hours.

Part One VT MLM

Put all of the ingredients into the slow cooker after searing the meat. Add leeks (not pictured) and cook on low with coconut milk and coffee for eight hours.

Part Two Tutorial MLM

Turn into a cute ox picture:

Fall Spiced Ox Tail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

As usually this delicious food is paleo, lchf, keto, sugar free, grain free, gluten free, dairy free and nut free. Not that any of that matters when it comes to just enjoying food, because when it comes to organ meat there is not diet but for human connection.

And yes I mostly just said that for Google search purposes 😉

Slow Cooker Apple Cider

 Share

My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

Directions:

  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)

Bourbon

Whiskey

Vodka

Turn into a Cake

Notes:

Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.

Cinnamon:

2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ze Cocomilk Chai Pour MLM

Mmmmm winter is finally coming, and with it must be a drink worthy of a night spent with Margaery.

The earthy spices are finally in the minds of everyone and spreading like cinnamon icing across our foods and dripping into our drinks with cinnamon laced in ginger, fennel, cloves, and even anise.

My humble human mouth is not yet a fan of anise, it tastes like licorice was steeped for twenty hours and then someone tried to turn it to wine.

Wine Love (1)

It just tastes wrong and should not exist.

In my little version of reality this will not be true for long. Taste has to do with your body accepting foods as energy sources, and it simply feared anise because it was new. That was a year ago so right now it may even taste of licorice dripping out of a gorgeous chocolate hinted Merlot.

Coco Milk Chai Holding

Cinnamon sweetly touching ginger and fondling cardamon, black pepper, and cloves should happen every day. Coconut milk has this mouth dripping quality of not overpowering flavors while maintaining that creamy feeling you want from a latte.

Coconut in itself lends a new flavor for lattes that compliments and strengthens the spicy nature of Chai tea. 

Coconut also has its own sweetness despite being sugar free, and allows for very little need when it comes to extra sweetening. Try minimal sweetener and then increase if you feel you must, but the less sweetener the more you can taste the chai 😉

Final Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ingredients:

4 Oz of Fresh Water (quality matters)

1/4 Teaspoon Blue Lotus Masala Chai

(They use a powdered form which makes steeping unnecessary

Or Make Your Own like a beast human

(You’ll surpass my beastliness since I just used the powder)

4 Oz Full Fat Coconut Milk

(Or make your own)

1/8 Tsp Coconut Suga

(For paleo or Erythitrol for a low carb / keto version, coconut will lend a more earthy note)

Outside Coco Milk Chai

Directions:

  1. Boil the coconut milk and water together. If you made your own cocomilk and stored it in the fridge then be sure to add chunks of the cream layer that forms for maximal creaminess.
  2. Right when the cocomilk and water reach boiling stir in the Masla Chai or steep your own chai.
  3. Sweeten and let cool before consuming. My hurt tongue serves as reminder penance.

Chai Holding

Recipe notes:

Making your own coconut milk can definitely be cheaper over time and is so simple that I do it about once a week.

Make sure to use full fat coconut milk otherwise it will taste thin.

P.S. You’re beautiful <(^_^)>

Too Easy Tuna Salad: Zero Carbs

On so many days I arrive home starving, or tipsy, and need to just consume food. In general, keto makes you feel really full as your body is so satisfied by itself, but because of this full feeling I’ll forget to eat until about four.

At this point I could go the day without food and reach epic mental clarity, but if I’m in hunger mode I’ll just nom whatever is in oral vicinity with the ravenous force of a 105 pound goddess.

So in my mind cookbook there has to be quick and easy recipes that I can make without even having eggs or mayo. I run out of both of these constantly. Because of this simple mind cookbook I’ve been saved many a fast food caving cravings, and instead pack my body full of life nutrients.

Since taste is based on nutrients (science bitches), this tastes epic and makes for such easy travel food. Grab a lemon on the road from any random grocery store and you have a delicious lunch bursting with lemon and brain nutrients. All at zero carbs and friendly for the paleo humans.

Too Easy Tuna Salad MLM

Today I’m just going zero carb in order to detox from yesterday when I decided to scoop a 1/4 cup of honey into me.

Ingredients:

Can of Tuna (Read what to get and what to avoid here)

Juice of Half a Lemon

Two Dashes of Salt

Directions:

  1. Open can and take a few bites to make room for the juice.
  2. Squeeze in juice and add salt. If you can eat the rinds of lemons go ahead and chop it into bits and add those.

Just for you: our corgi Thor. Otherwise known as Thorgi

Thorgi