Tag Archives: low carb

How to: Travel like a Healthy Human

I‘ve now been on a real food low carb eating lifestyle for two years now (mostly). My body and mind now know what it feels like to cheat and react with sickening stomach quakes or mental ick fields of muddled connections. I’m on these lifestyles to combat mental illnesses that I’ve struggled with ever since I was twelve and downed three energy drinks laced with sour patch kids every day. When that high no longer got me going I dipped sugar cubes into icing.

Maybe I’m preset to get those illnesses or maybe they’re from those mind altering chemicals.

I had the energy drinks/various sugar highs when my brain was developing, and maybe it developed with them to the point it glitched. The ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts all leave when I go at least three days without cheating, and I continue to not connect to those mental disorders as long as I don’t cheat.

I mostly stick to my diet when on vacation through my traveling fat bombs or just by finding my own foods.

At a cafe I got an omelette and my twin got french toast with peanut butter bacon and bananas.

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Yesterday I cheated because there were caramels coated in chocolate with salt dredgings.

I love those things. Despite my mind saying those things will hurt my body didn’t listen. My mind gave in to just one. Then two and then three. Then I drank some Kahlua white russian with a side of wine.

This pain seared right behind my ears. This used to happen all the time before I went on keto/paleo and if I don’t cheat it goes away. I’ve linked it to being too much sugar and especially too much wine. My twin, Abbey, still deals with the pain, in the same spot, on occasion.

My OCD tinkered last night and I could not stop arranging the cars in our Magic game to line up with the tiles on the table. I couldn’t untrap those connections. I could not connect away/think of anything else but making the lines on the cards line up with the other lines. Consuming consumption. I was even aware of what was happening and was unable to control it.

This morning I was still pretty trapped and had to find a way to release that entrapment of connections.

I have an identical twin that still struggles with all of these things and continues to eat grains and processed foods. Grr.

This morning I just wanted to feel sane and in control again. I resorted to an offbeat of my dandelion greens salad. 

For Uplifting Mind Tingles
For Uplifting Mind Tingles

For the Salad:

Dandelion Greens

Lemon

Cucumber (optional)

Salt

Pepper

Very Dark Chocolate

Directions:

Turn into salad. Yes eat the peel and pulp, ultimate mind tingles.

Another item that really helps prevent cheating is a liquid carrier. This bottle is my bliss.

I go on no physical ventures without this dripping beauty wetting my sprog and body. Ever since I drank from the crisp inner wells the desire has never left and never has that taste faltered no matter what goes in it.

S'Well

 I generally do water with extracts (guide to come) or tea or coffee. All without sugar.

Random Professional Human Tips:

  1. Carry around a bottle of oil (coconut, various). If coconut pour add to coffee, others add to salads or whatever your mind body desires.
  2. Bring mind food for road trips: kale, spinach, chard, green things.
  3. Drink a ton of water.
  4. Bring extracts.
  5. Bring tobacco if you like it.
  6. Learn drinks you can have at any bar. I do a gin and soda water with lime.
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Rutabaga Chips

That crunch. That munch. That mind shattering tingle of mouth satisfaction. 

Final Rutabaga

Chips are a serious business and to give them up just to be on a “diet” is like giving up the cross to be a Christian. It simply makes no sense.

What one must do when learning to digest keto or paleo is truly think about what a bag of chips holds. What is it that makes you desire them so badly? How could something you get mouth wet for and desire so ravenously make you so fat?

Do this with all “bad foods” that you want to cheat with. Take a moment to slow down and analyze what it is your body wants. Are you just hungry and need to eat? Do you just need a crunch? Are you craving the salt on the chips because you’re electrolyte deficient?

Your body knows what it needs, unless it’s scarred by sugar addiction that is curable but initially controls you. Your mouth will crave foods it knows. If your body only knows chips for its salt intake, or for getting full desires, it will think of the chips and put you in autodrive to get them.

Whip your mindbody into shape and redirect those cravings into whatever you/random Internet people think is good for you.

Redirect your mind into bacon, and butter, and eggs, and rutabaga chips.

Now I’m an odd little human and like variety in chips. Some I want crispy and chip like while other sliced moments need to be thicker cut and full of flavor. For this round of chip desires I cut some thin and many thick. The thick were not crunchy but they were more savorful and I enjoyed them much more. If you want that crunch though make sure to keep that knife in line.

Raw Rutabaga Slices Ready to be Chipped
Raw Rutabaga Slices Ready to be Chipped

Ingredients:

Rutabaga

1.5 Tablespoons olive oil (Go for quality, you can Google the oil to see if it is actually ‘good’ for you)

A pan

A sheet of foil, or not (I didn’t bother with it)

An oven that can reach 350 degrees

Salt

What to Do:

   1) Slice rutabaga into thin moments (and some thick if you desire variety)

   2) Eat one slice raw so your mouthbrain can learn rutabaga (come on, it’s scared)

   3) Put future chips in a bowl with oil and get the oil all over the rutabaga slices

   4) Sprinkle with salt as you would a cupcake

   5) Lay across foil in one layer

   6) Bake at 350 for 25 minutes flipping every ten minutes and going for longer if needed

If you have thicker cut ones bake them a bit longer after removing chip like ones Rutabaga Chips Whole Rutabaga: (Limit for Keto) Macros: Loaded with Vitamin C and Potassium Total Carb: 33g, Net Carb: 25g, Protein: 4.2 g, Fat: .6g

How to Roast Garlic

Garlic Ready to be Roasted
Garlic Ready to be Roasted

There is immense need for your mouth to have this taste and texture inside it.

I feared it for about a year, thinking it too complicated, and now realize I was a bit mad. Fine full fledged mad because this is as easy as using protection, heating it through and just letting the pleasure come from within.

How Roast Garlic

Ingredients:

Olive Oil (go for quality oil, EVOO does not necessarily mean it is healthy)

Head of Garilic (or more)

Foil

Oven

Directions:

1) Remove outer skin shells

2) Cut tiny layer off the top of the garlic head, just enough to expose its luscious wonders

3) Drizzle a bit of oil over head and rub in

4) Wrap head in foil

5) Bake in oven at 400 for 30-35 minutes or until it has gone soft

6) Let cool then try a piece all on its own

Enter into salads, mayonnaise, your mouth by itself, or even make some low carb paleo friendly garlic bread 😉

Almond Butter Leek

Minirant: Skip if You just Desire Food 😉

Yesterday I was all silly and peeved at someone calling paleo a diet and not a lifestyle. I let bubbles of rage in past moments turn to boiling and let it all spew out. I didn’t even catch enough to make tea with.

Some days it is hard to calm down and realize food isn’t everything. Wow it was even hard to type those words out. Yet, food is just food. It should never have been changed from how beautiful and loved it was. It has turned to a demon and angel to people and I really wish it could just be food again.

When you fight for something you wind up getting hurt. Right now there is a war on food and it causes a lot of pain for people. I see people who are obese or have IBS or have mental disorders and see how much of it can be from a bad relationship with food. People have eating disorders due to not only society but due to the addiction they face from sugar and bad foods. I’m not just speculating on that one either. I go and ask them all the time. So many people actually want to figure out what is happening to them and how they can fix it.

 

The Taste

So back to the recipe. I was frustrated and needed bitter. Bitter foods give me the most mental uplifts. Then I wanted chaos in tiny form so I poured almond butter into the leak. Oh. My. Noms. Remember celery and peanut butter? Yeah this is better. This is the charred aged version of your childhood. Consume with whiskey or wine.

 

Almond Butter Leek:

Almond Butter Leak

Ingredients:

2 Leeks

Enough almond butter to fill the slits with (I used Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter, so melty and mindgasming)

Butter or oil, enough to coat the leeks with

Directions:

1)Cut the leeks down their center but not all the way through.

2) Turn your cast iron to medium low heat and place the leeks in.

3) Slather in either oil or butter. Try both at some point as they lend different flavor profiles.

4) Cook out the bitterness for about fifteen minutes and then take a bite to see if they’re ready. I like some bitter to remain. Turn the heat to high and char both sides.

5) Remove from cast iron.

6) Take a fork or spoon or some almond butter carrying utensil and pour the butter into the open leak

7) Consume by peeling off back leaf first and working your way. If it gets to bitter then return to cast iron and heat out the bitter again.

The Traveling Fat Bombs

IMG_20150801_222413 (1)

Have you ever done the deed? Have you ever cheated?

I know that cinnamon roll was tempting you. It called out your name and offered sweet pleasure. It just begged to be inside you.
That Starbucks frappacinno was dripping for you and she doesn’t get wet for just anyone.
That potato was even hard for you. How could you not let something so hard, just for you, inside you?

Don’t worry I have the solution and it is even more delicious. Traveling healthyfat fatbombs. They’re dripping with coffee and hardened by oils. Lick them and taste delicious extracts. They even last for days and can be fully enjoyed for just one if you desire. Then store them away until you want them again.

The largest cheating epidemic we face in keto/paleo/primal land is when we travel. When you get hungry those inhibitions flounder and there is rarely a kombucha or bulletproof coffee stream nearby. On keto you can go for lettuce wraps at fast food joins but in paleo land we avoid fast food at all 99 cents costs. There is way too much nonflower-raised, fake nutrients, in those joints. Every time I try to go for fast food now I get sick and then hungry again five minutes later. I really miss you In-N-Out. I never wanted it to be this way. Our love was meant to be forever. Torchy’s bowls and Chipotle still give mouthgasms every time.

Traveling Keto/Paleo Friendly Foods:

Boiled Eggs: Last two days

Baked Eggs: Alton Brown recipe here. Makes 12 perfect eggs or more.

Grassfed Jerky: Noms

Kale: Lasts two days

Spinach: Lasts the car ride

Nut Butters: Woot

Coconut Butter: Infinite mouth lasting time

Ghee: Delicious healthy fat that also lasts a long time

Coconut Oil: Another delicious healthy fat you can just scoop out and consume

Canned Fish: Quality matters

Canned Meats in General: Go for organic to maintain paleo

Nuts: Same as nut butters

Broccoli/Cauliflower/Radishes: Last four days. For mndgasming.

Paleo Exclusive: Potatoes/Other Root Veggies: Last many days and if you’re a beast can be eaten raw

The Traveling Fat Bombs

What I prefer to do is mix my fats together into a travel friendly jar. These jars don’t have any refrigeration necessary items so they’ve lasted me up to months in the cupboard. I usually keep them in the fridge until travel time just in case though. In the car they’ve been heated in Texas sun and are still delicious the next day. I enjoy most edibles and liquids at varying temperatures though so your mouth might have to adapt in ways mine already loves.

You don’t necessarily need fat bombs on your keto or paleo journey but if you’re in keto you need to get your energy from fats. If you’re into paleo then by now you have most likely embraced fats in all their satisfying glory as well. These bombs don’t have to be for travel and can just be scooped and nommed at any point of the day. I generally have a bomb before work to avoid cheating. There’s loaded fries at work.

Basic Recipe:

1 Cup Nut Butter, 1/2 Cup Coconut Butter or Oil, 1/4 Cup Liquid, Teaspoon of Extract. Process and make bombs or put in jar.

Optional Add Ins: Coconut Flakes, whole nuts, various things I can’t think of right now

For this Recipe:

I combined coffee and peanut butter, a deep mouth love of mine. I highly recommend mating the two at some point in your life. You also get your caffeine in while traveling.

Ingredients:

Travel Ingredients

1/2 Cup Homemade Brazilian Nut Butter (Recipe here)

1/2 Cup Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter

1/4 Cup Coffee (Quality matters, flavor comes through. I used a French Pressed one)

1 Teaspoon Neilsen Massey Bourbon Vanilla Extract (Quality/Flavor comes through)

Directions:

Put all ingredients in a food processor and pulse to combine.

Store in same jar you took the nut butter from or turn into mustaches.

Traveling Fat Bombs

Jar Time

Yields 24 Tablespoon size servings:

Macros: Total Fat: 10.7g Total Carb: 2.23g Net Carb: 1.84, Protein: 1.57g

Human Friendly Stuffed Peppers

What to do with so many people trying diets and you’re just having a simple dinner party? Is there a recipe that could fit a low carb diet, a paleo diet, and a primal diet?

Peppers

Yes. Cauliflower rice stuffed peppers

Cauliflower rice is the mindblissmouthgasm of keto/paleo life.

. Rice is off the mouth menu for ketoers due to its high carb content (it is 90% carbs) and off the paleo menu because rice contains phytane which renders its nutrients essentially useless to humans. Grains usually contains gluten, which can be highly inflammatory and harmful to the gut, but rice does seem to avoid this issue. The gut plays an essential role in memory as well as can lead to depression and anxiety so amything that harms it is off the mindgasm menu. Do not fret my lovers because the gut can be fixed starting with food.

On the other hand Asians eat rice. Here is an article about the debate on rice from Mark’s Daily Apple. He does a mindful amount of research into these subjects and has dedicated his life to the primal diet and awareness of it.

So how do we get that rice bedding to our meats and veggies? How do we make sushi? We turn cauliflower into rice. All you really want from a substitute for old foods is the texture. Most humans don’t eat rice just by itself. You add cheese or spices or meat or sauces to rice to make it delicious. Usually in a combination. As such it is those flavors and the texture of rice that go so well together.

Cauliflower already tastes amazing on its own so turning it to rice makes your meal that much tastier and mindblissing.

Cauliflower is also a cheaper vegetable and if you’re on a budget it can easily replace your bagged rice.

I did discover that cheese is in the grey zone of paleo today. This is a hard fact to face but it is true that many humans do not process dairy well. We are developing the ability to process grassfed dairy products, especially goat cheese. Mark from Mark’s Daily Apple, a primal food blog, has a well structured article on the subject found if you click here.

Directions for Human Friendly Stuffed Peppers:

Ingredients

These are definitely a base recipe for you to fiddle around with. Try different oils, nuts, spices and meats if they fit all the diets you need or just fit your mouth menu for the night.

Directions:

1) First you will need to acquire three bell peppers (or more), a cauliflower, three tablespoons of oil (any will do but go for organic. I used TJ’s lemon olive oil), and a cup of nuts (I used macadamia).

2) You will then make cauliflower rice. This is actually a simple process where you trim a cauliflower and put it into a food processor or blender then pulse until is rice. If you don’t want a moist caulistuffed pepper go ahead and transfer the rice to a skillet and cook out the water for about eight minutes.

3) Combine the rice with the oil and chopped macadamia nuts.

4) Stuff the peppers with caulirice mix.

5) Spray with coconut oil (optional).

6) Can be served raw or baked in the oven at 325 for 15 minutes then checked on every 5 minutes after.

7) I did add raspberries to mine. They were delicious.

Final