Tag Archives: lowcarb

Low Carb and Paleo Hangover Smoothie

Humans keep having this assumption that I eat like a butterfly.

That’s very cute, but what I lose in bread and rice I make up for in butters and fats. I’m an odd little high fat person as I mostly use coconut oil/butter instead of dairy products. Although I consume 30 or less carbs a day I get 90% of my energy from fats. I used to drink heavy cream straight, such as in the heavy cream treat. Lately I’ve gone dairy free though since it feels uncomfortable to my insides every time I put cheese or cream in there. So I’ve just switched to coconut and food tastes even better.

I also eat tons of bacon. And then cast iron vegetables up with the grease.

There are days I’ll eat no meat or just some organ meat, but even on those days I get fats otherwise. Why the high carb low fat diet does not work is people wind up feeling starved. People wind up cheating and feeling terrible, as though they did something wrong. The body needs fat, and it tells us that.

So my weekend had kiwi chia jelly shots and melting coffee cocktails.

On this morning I want bliss soaked fats covered in bacon, with some electrolytes from salt. Most hangovers are dehydration so drinking water and boosting up those excreted electrolytes will help you feel mindloose and headache free.

Hangover Smoothie

Hangover Cocktail Ingredients

2 Slices of Bacon

1/2 Cup Almond or Coconut Milk (or Cashew). Increase for thinner smoothie.

1/4 Cup Frozen Raspberries (or blueberries, snozberries, or blackberries)

1/2 Cup Full Fat Greek Yogurt. (Leave out to decrease fat if needed, or add more coconut cream if dairy free).

1/2 an Avocado

1/2 a Teaspoon of Cinnamon

1/2 a Teaspoon of Salt

3 Coffee Cubes (freeze your leftover coffee into cubes)

Sweetener if you need it (I’m a bitter loving beastwoman and take it straight)

For Whipped Coconut Cream

1 Can Coconut Milk

(Great coconut whipped cream recipe, and what brand to buy here)

or

Heavy Cream turned into Whipped Cream

To Create:

  1. Cook bacon and put aside
  2. Blend cocktail Ingredients (except for bacon) in a high speed blender until smooth

To Make Coconut Whipped Cream

  1.  Leave can of coconut milk in fridge overnight
  2. Scoop off the cream layer into a stand mixer or hand mixer bowl
  3. Beat into stiff peaks
  4. This will leave you with extra cream. If you do not desire extra whipped coconut cream use less of the milk and store or put into smoothie

Combine:

  1. Pour smoothie ingredients into stein
  2. Top with whipped coconut cream
  3. Add raspberries and bacon
  4. Eat bacon first

Final Hangover Smoothie

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Melting Coffee Gomptail: Flask Ready

Only healthy recipes my mind says. Only give humanity and your eye swankers foods and liquids that will invigorate their minds and give them back mental control. 

What if health fucks around and lies to us about what it is all the blisslong day?

Halfly I’m a health goddess that cares deeply for all human minds and bodies. I’m also a fairy rebel that trips on chaos and lands in bliss bubbles that melt as they float.

So what do fairies drink when they want mind soaking blissgasms?

Oh, what about the blissfuck of car bombs? That stimulant downing. Those mind dropping mouthgasms that struggle you right back up.

I’m sure I’ll have cancer by tomorrow, but breathing can have those side affects.

Combining caffeine and alcohol is very very bad. It makes you very naughty and here is the article for why not to drink this. Basically, humans will stay up and drink longer and it dehydrates you like a pump stuck in your water parts. So if you drink water and have a fuzzy blanket all will be well.

Gomp Me

The Taste:

Like flowers burning and melting on your tongue. The flavors actually change from beginning to end from earthy to bright and then ends in a combination. Don’t you just have to know what coffee melting tastes like?

Can also be flasked.

Bombgredients:

1 Shot Gin (Gompers is best)

1/2 Cup Cold Brew Coffee (or regular coffee)

For Chocolate Dusting:

Spray glass with coconut spray and dust chocolate over. You could add coconut sugar to cut the bitter. I recommend taking it black like a beast human.

Melting coffee final

The mindchuckle is this recipe is actually FODMAP friendly(have you heard about gluten free being scientifically discounted? It’s the FODMAPS our bodies don’t accept. It is also sugar free, dairy free, nut free, gluten free (to care or not to care now?), fat free, low carb, keto friendly, paleo friendly, and primal friendly. Yet it could totally kill you. Enjoy.

Cocomacanut Traveling Fat Bomb

The sound for this taste is lorsmun with a bliss tinkerings bracing the lor and leading into the smu. A mind lifting purr of pleasure.

I’ve made many a fat bomb in my little existence. In oddity I’ve never made macadamia butter into these mouthgasms. Strange due to my deep love of the macadamia. You can taste the satisfying pour of fats from its goddess insides into your mouth. It doesn’t even know me so this love is purely from my mind to yours. I daresay I’m killing more by telling you this so I’m being quite cruel to my love.

I even want all mouths to experience her deepest moments.

Traveling fat bombs are so ingenious I still barely believe I came up with them. It was purely by change really. I made energy bites from All Day I Dream About Food and then put them in an empty coffee can from Trader Joe’s. I then put some pistachio fat bombs from The Healthy Foodie on top of those and then off to the rolling road I went. The trip wound up being longer than expected and I was hungry. I tried a two day car heated fat bomb and found it even more delicious than when it was ripe from the fridge. The flavors had soaked and warmed together to bring out new notes of flavors and they melted into my tongue.

They wound up lasting five days and still being incredible.

Since then I’ve just analyzed into a simple noticement. None of the ingredients have a short shelf life.

Since this discovery I never take a roadtrip without a jar of traveling fat bombs goodness. I actually sometimes leave a jar in the car just in case sporadic hunger hits at any traveling moment. This one beasts the Brazillian nut coffee bomb so hard though. Try this one first and tell your mouth to thank me ;). Really you should think the macadamia though, but I’m sure we can have a threesome.

The base recipe.

The Inner Moments

3/4 Cup Roasted Macadamia Butter (How to: Make Your Own)

1/4 Cup Coconut Butter (How to: Make Your Own)

 2 T Coffee (Quality matters, I used a delightful coldbrew but a Chemex or French Press would do well)

1/4 Cup Unsweetened Shredded Coconut (Optional)

1/4 teaspoon ceylon cinnamon up to 1 teaspoon based on preference (Start small, taste, increase if desired)

1/4 teaspoon vanilla (I used Madagascar bourbon vanilla)

To Make it Come

Together

Pulse the above together in a food processor to desired consistency and store in a fresh jar, or reuse nut butter jar.

Macadamia and Coconut Fat Bomb Final

Roasted Macadamia Nut Butter

Just like the Brazilian the macadamia nut just loves to be buttered. There’s something glorious about the way it pulverizes into a smooth bliss cream that makes you want to have it again and again and again until it soaks everything you own and gets trapped under mouthgasming sheets.

Food is just sexy.

IMG_20150829_210920

Macadamia nuts are soaked in nutrients that other nuts just don’t have.

Most nuts (almonds, pecans, walnuts, and cashews) are higher in Omega-6 fats that cause inflammation. Inflammation is linked, by some scientific humans, to anxiety and depression. They are definitely not the most mind lingering loves and should be consumed in minimal doses. Outside of studies I’m sure you know how gross it feels to be bloated and that beer guts are naturally unattractive. Hello inflammation.

Macadamia is boosted with healthy fats and only has .36 grams of Omega-6 fats per handful (about 1/4 cup). This is compared to the almond at 3.4g. Macadamias are high in monounsaturated fat. This is the fat you find in avocados and olive oil, which by now I hope all humans consider healthy. For more information on macadamia nuts click or touch this word.

Now this butter. It uses preroasted macadamia nuts that I purchased from Sincerely Nuts. I plan to make a raw batch soon as I much prefer the flavor. This flavor is almost savory and has a sweet depth to it your mouth just gets soaked in. I might try and use for a nutmeg or garam marsala fudge. Maybe even as a nut sauce in some Asian dishes. Such noms to come.

The Taste

Savory sweet and my top mouth favorite when it comes to nut butters. Definitely the smoothest butter and tasty enough you’ll just have to try it. If you regret it just send the butter my way and I’ll send some dollars.

Ingredients:

   3 Cups of Macadamia Nuts

1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla (optional) or Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla

1/2 to 1 Teaspoon of Ceylon Cinnamon (Optional)

To Create:

   1.   Put all of the Ingredients into a food processor.

 2.   Pulse for three minutes, or even less depending on the consistency you want.

Final Timed Macadamia

Creamy Coconut Cauliflower Mash

Psssst. I have a tiny confession. Please whisper it in your head.

I no longer feel a bodily love for cheese.

Phew. I felt a releasing sense of ease just from typing that.

We grew up together you see. My body and cheese have frolicked in delicious fields of love and whimsical times. It let me have threesomes in forms of burgers and up to twentysomes in casseroles. Oh such a timeless love cheese and I fell into.

Then I met coconut and fell madly into true love.

I would not have known that cheese and I aren’t actually meant to be until I went off it for a few weeks. I went on  a mindcation and bodycation without even realizing it. Coconut butter, coconut milk, coconut pulp crackers and coconut oil were everywhere. Coconut was inside me every day.

During this week I felt clean and lively with no body air escaping my top or bottom holes.

I kept getting full on coconut creamed spinach, bison beer braised meatballs, spinach salads dosed in sunflower oils and chia seed granola bars to the point I was not hungry and did not even think of cheese.

Everyday was mental and mouthbliss.

You don’t even think of the past when captured by coconuts.

Cheese is now an ex and it might just stay that way. I know what feels and tastes better now. The moment I went back to cheese I had inflammation. I switched back to coconut and felt incredible again. Everything even tasted more incredible. My mouth taste buds adapted away from cheese and made room for a new love.

The taste of this cauliflower mash is little white trees springing to life and coating themselves in creamy and delicious coconut. Then they dance because they have never felt or tasted so good.

It is so creamy and it is so fresh tasting your mouth will crave this again and again. The more your mouth knows this taste the better it will be because of all those antioxidant soakings and all of the nutrients locked in those cauliflower tiny trees. It even holds anti-inflammatory benefits. Inflammation is linked to depression, anxiety and general fatness.

This mash also keeps really well for at least two days, and if you reheat it in cast iron with bacon the grease soaks right in and makes even more mouthgasm moments.

Creamy Coconut Cauliflower Mash

IMG_20150826_161621

Mouthgasm Moments:

1 Head of Cauliflower

2 T Coconut Cream

1 T Coconut Oil

Salt and Pepper

To Create:

   1.   Break the cauliflower into chunks. Save the leaves and bottom chunk for vegetable broth to be made later

   2.   Boil the cauliflower for 10 minutes until soft

   3.   Drain cauliflower and put all of the ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth, occasionally scraping down the sides

   4.   Salt and pepper to taste

For Cauliflower Rice

If you want cauliflower rice just pulse this recipe instead of reaching the smooth consistency.

For the Microwave:

   1.   Follow direction one above

   2.   Put cauliflower in microwave safe dish with the cream and oil. Microwave for six minutes.

   3.   Stir to coat and then microwave for four to six more minutes.

   4.   Put cauliflower into blender and blend until smooth.

   5.   Salt and pepper to taste.

Coconut Mash

Nutrition Comparison: 

Potato: Fat: .2 g, Potassium: 897 mg, Carbs: 37 g, Protein: 4.3 g, Vitamin C: 70% DV, Calcium: 2% DV, Magnesium: 12% DV

Cauliflower: Fat: 1.6g, Potassium: 1,758 mg, Carbs: 29, Net Carbs: 17, Protein: 11g, Vitamin C: 472 % DV, Calcium: 12% DV, Iron: 13% DV, Magnesium: 22% DV, Vitamin B-6: 55% DV

Cauliflower also has strong detox benefits as well as antioxidants. It is a nutrient lovebliss of moments your body needs inside it.

3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

Frozen yogurt is a blisswirl of flavors that are so refreshing and crisp you can barely take it in your mouth.

3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

With summer beating down, and my body dwelling in Texas, cold is a required mouthgasm, and those ice cream trucks are taunting. Mostly to throw bombs at them because they’re really loud and that song haunts all the way into my childhood.

I Googled around and to my bliss it you can very easily make frozen yogurt if you have yogurt and a freezer. If you want the blisswirls you’ll need to add sugar, salt and an ice cream maker.

To get the best of flavors and feelings you will need fully fat yogurt from flower raised cows that appreciate being inside you. Low-fat yogurt will have more sugar and tastes like sweetened water anyways. If you still buy low-fat then I don’t understand you and we’ll have to defriend on MySpace to symbolize our friendship being as dead as it.

I have some frozen yogurt for that burn, Once you put it in your mouth you’ll come back into my arms and we’ll unite in blisswirls of mouth cream together.

Erythritol is a sugar replacement with a lower GI that is also lower in carbs and calories. It has 6% of the calories of sugar and yet is still 70% as sweet. The bacteria in your mouth can use sugar for energy but neglects erythritol as food. In fact, 90% of this sweetener is excreted from the body. For more information on erythritol click or touch this word.

I am not a lover of the sugar cravings myself, but I’ve had this frozen yogurt for three days and haven’t wanted to scarf down tons of donuts. In fact, I’ve remained in full beast mode control of cravings.

The Taste

This yogurt is swirled with a crisp refreshing taste you only get from frozen churns of cream. I daresay it beats any froyo shop, especially since you can customize it to your taste. I’ll probably make a coffee and rose flavor soon with their extracts.

Ingredients:

   1 Container of Full Fat Grass Fed Yogurt (3 and 3/4 Cups). I used Maple Hills Creamery

   1/4 Cup Erythritol, 2 T Coconut Sugar (or Sweetener of Choice)

   1/4 Teaspoon Salt

   1 Teaspoon Lemon, Coffee, Vanilla, or Choice of Flavor Extract (optional)

How to Create

   1.   Combine the yogurt, sweetener, salt and extract into a bowl and whisk together.


Whisk

   2.   Refrigerate until the concoction reaches at least 45 degrees (mine was at 35 degrees with no refrigeration)

 3.   Pour into ice cream maker and churn according to manufacturer’s instructions

Pour

   4.   Mindbliss out over your frozen yogurt.

Creamed Yogurt

Note: This will come out as a soft serve. To make harder put in the freezer for about three hours.

Serving Size: 1/2 Cup

Macros: Fat: 5g, Carbs: 5.7g, Protein, 5g