Tag Archives: lowcarbhighfat

Creamy Coconut Cauliflower Mash

Psssst. I have a tiny confession. Please whisper it in your head.

I no longer feel a bodily love for cheese.

Phew. I felt a releasing sense of ease just from typing that.

We grew up together you see. My body and cheese have frolicked in delicious fields of love and whimsical times. It let me have threesomes in forms of burgers and up to twentysomes in casseroles. Oh such a timeless love cheese and I fell into.

Then I met coconut and fell madly into true love.

I would not have known that cheese and I aren’t actually meant to be until I went off it for a few weeks. I went on  a mindcation and bodycation without even realizing it. Coconut butter, coconut milk, coconut pulp crackers and coconut oil were everywhere. Coconut was inside me every day.

During this week I felt clean and lively with no body air escaping my top or bottom holes.

I kept getting full on coconut creamed spinach, bison beer braised meatballs, spinach salads dosed in sunflower oils and chia seed granola bars to the point I was not hungry and did not even think of cheese.

Everyday was mental and mouthbliss.

You don’t even think of the past when captured by coconuts.

Cheese is now an ex and it might just stay that way. I know what feels and tastes better now. The moment I went back to cheese I had inflammation. I switched back to coconut and felt incredible again. Everything even tasted more incredible. My mouth taste buds adapted away from cheese and made room for a new love.

The taste of this cauliflower mash is little white trees springing to life and coating themselves in creamy and delicious coconut. Then they dance because they have never felt or tasted so good.

It is so creamy and it is so fresh tasting your mouth will crave this again and again. The more your mouth knows this taste the better it will be because of all those antioxidant soakings and all of the nutrients locked in those cauliflower tiny trees. It even holds anti-inflammatory benefits. Inflammation is linked to depression, anxiety and general fatness.

This mash also keeps really well for at least two days, and if you reheat it in cast iron with bacon the grease soaks right in and makes even more mouthgasm moments.

Creamy Coconut Cauliflower Mash

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Mouthgasm Moments:

1 Head of Cauliflower

2 T Coconut Cream

1 T Coconut Oil

Salt and Pepper

To Create:

   1.   Break the cauliflower into chunks. Save the leaves and bottom chunk for vegetable broth to be made later

   2.   Boil the cauliflower for 10 minutes until soft

   3.   Drain cauliflower and put all of the ingredients into a blender and blend until smooth, occasionally scraping down the sides

   4.   Salt and pepper to taste

For Cauliflower Rice

If you want cauliflower rice just pulse this recipe instead of reaching the smooth consistency.

For the Microwave:

   1.   Follow direction one above

   2.   Put cauliflower in microwave safe dish with the cream and oil. Microwave for six minutes.

   3.   Stir to coat and then microwave for four to six more minutes.

   4.   Put cauliflower into blender and blend until smooth.

   5.   Salt and pepper to taste.

Coconut Mash

Nutrition Comparison: 

Potato: Fat: .2 g, Potassium: 897 mg, Carbs: 37 g, Protein: 4.3 g, Vitamin C: 70% DV, Calcium: 2% DV, Magnesium: 12% DV

Cauliflower: Fat: 1.6g, Potassium: 1,758 mg, Carbs: 29, Net Carbs: 17, Protein: 11g, Vitamin C: 472 % DV, Calcium: 12% DV, Iron: 13% DV, Magnesium: 22% DV, Vitamin B-6: 55% DV

Cauliflower also has strong detox benefits as well as antioxidants. It is a nutrient lovebliss of moments your body needs inside it.

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3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

Frozen yogurt is a blisswirl of flavors that are so refreshing and crisp you can barely take it in your mouth.

3 Ingredient Frozen Yogurt

With summer beating down, and my body dwelling in Texas, cold is a required mouthgasm, and those ice cream trucks are taunting. Mostly to throw bombs at them because they’re really loud and that song haunts all the way into my childhood.

I Googled around and to my bliss it you can very easily make frozen yogurt if you have yogurt and a freezer. If you want the blisswirls you’ll need to add sugar, salt and an ice cream maker.

To get the best of flavors and feelings you will need fully fat yogurt from flower raised cows that appreciate being inside you. Low-fat yogurt will have more sugar and tastes like sweetened water anyways. If you still buy low-fat then I don’t understand you and we’ll have to defriend on MySpace to symbolize our friendship being as dead as it.

I have some frozen yogurt for that burn, Once you put it in your mouth you’ll come back into my arms and we’ll unite in blisswirls of mouth cream together.

Erythritol is a sugar replacement with a lower GI that is also lower in carbs and calories. It has 6% of the calories of sugar and yet is still 70% as sweet. The bacteria in your mouth can use sugar for energy but neglects erythritol as food. In fact, 90% of this sweetener is excreted from the body. For more information on erythritol click or touch this word.

I am not a lover of the sugar cravings myself, but I’ve had this frozen yogurt for three days and haven’t wanted to scarf down tons of donuts. In fact, I’ve remained in full beast mode control of cravings.

The Taste

This yogurt is swirled with a crisp refreshing taste you only get from frozen churns of cream. I daresay it beats any froyo shop, especially since you can customize it to your taste. I’ll probably make a coffee and rose flavor soon with their extracts.

Ingredients:

   1 Container of Full Fat Grass Fed Yogurt (3 and 3/4 Cups). I used Maple Hills Creamery

   1/4 Cup Erythritol, 2 T Coconut Sugar (or Sweetener of Choice)

   1/4 Teaspoon Salt

   1 Teaspoon Lemon, Coffee, Vanilla, or Choice of Flavor Extract (optional)

How to Create

   1.   Combine the yogurt, sweetener, salt and extract into a bowl and whisk together.


Whisk

   2.   Refrigerate until the concoction reaches at least 45 degrees (mine was at 35 degrees with no refrigeration)

 3.   Pour into ice cream maker and churn according to manufacturer’s instructions

Pour

   4.   Mindbliss out over your frozen yogurt.

Creamed Yogurt

Note: This will come out as a soft serve. To make harder put in the freezer for about three hours.

Serving Size: 1/2 Cup

Macros: Fat: 5g, Carbs: 5.7g, Protein, 5g

Almond Butter Leek

Minirant: Skip if You just Desire Food 😉

Yesterday I was all silly and peeved at someone calling paleo a diet and not a lifestyle. I let bubbles of rage in past moments turn to boiling and let it all spew out. I didn’t even catch enough to make tea with.

Some days it is hard to calm down and realize food isn’t everything. Wow it was even hard to type those words out. Yet, food is just food. It should never have been changed from how beautiful and loved it was. It has turned to a demon and angel to people and I really wish it could just be food again.

When you fight for something you wind up getting hurt. Right now there is a war on food and it causes a lot of pain for people. I see people who are obese or have IBS or have mental disorders and see how much of it can be from a bad relationship with food. People have eating disorders due to not only society but due to the addiction they face from sugar and bad foods. I’m not just speculating on that one either. I go and ask them all the time. So many people actually want to figure out what is happening to them and how they can fix it.

 

The Taste

So back to the recipe. I was frustrated and needed bitter. Bitter foods give me the most mental uplifts. Then I wanted chaos in tiny form so I poured almond butter into the leak. Oh. My. Noms. Remember celery and peanut butter? Yeah this is better. This is the charred aged version of your childhood. Consume with whiskey or wine.

 

Almond Butter Leek:

Almond Butter Leak

Ingredients:

2 Leeks

Enough almond butter to fill the slits with (I used Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter, so melty and mindgasming)

Butter or oil, enough to coat the leeks with

Directions:

1)Cut the leeks down their center but not all the way through.

2) Turn your cast iron to medium low heat and place the leeks in.

3) Slather in either oil or butter. Try both at some point as they lend different flavor profiles.

4) Cook out the bitterness for about fifteen minutes and then take a bite to see if they’re ready. I like some bitter to remain. Turn the heat to high and char both sides.

5) Remove from cast iron.

6) Take a fork or spoon or some almond butter carrying utensil and pour the butter into the open leak

7) Consume by peeling off back leaf first and working your way. If it gets to bitter then return to cast iron and heat out the bitter again.

The Traveling Fat Bombs

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Have you ever done the deed? Have you ever cheated?

I know that cinnamon roll was tempting you. It called out your name and offered sweet pleasure. It just begged to be inside you.
That Starbucks frappacinno was dripping for you and she doesn’t get wet for just anyone.
That potato was even hard for you. How could you not let something so hard, just for you, inside you?

Don’t worry I have the solution and it is even more delicious. Traveling healthyfat fatbombs. They’re dripping with coffee and hardened by oils. Lick them and taste delicious extracts. They even last for days and can be fully enjoyed for just one if you desire. Then store them away until you want them again.

The largest cheating epidemic we face in keto/paleo/primal land is when we travel. When you get hungry those inhibitions flounder and there is rarely a kombucha or bulletproof coffee stream nearby. On keto you can go for lettuce wraps at fast food joins but in paleo land we avoid fast food at all 99 cents costs. There is way too much nonflower-raised, fake nutrients, in those joints. Every time I try to go for fast food now I get sick and then hungry again five minutes later. I really miss you In-N-Out. I never wanted it to be this way. Our love was meant to be forever. Torchy’s bowls and Chipotle still give mouthgasms every time.

Traveling Keto/Paleo Friendly Foods:

Boiled Eggs: Last two days

Baked Eggs: Alton Brown recipe here. Makes 12 perfect eggs or more.

Grassfed Jerky: Noms

Kale: Lasts two days

Spinach: Lasts the car ride

Nut Butters: Woot

Coconut Butter: Infinite mouth lasting time

Ghee: Delicious healthy fat that also lasts a long time

Coconut Oil: Another delicious healthy fat you can just scoop out and consume

Canned Fish: Quality matters

Canned Meats in General: Go for organic to maintain paleo

Nuts: Same as nut butters

Broccoli/Cauliflower/Radishes: Last four days. For mndgasming.

Paleo Exclusive: Potatoes/Other Root Veggies: Last many days and if you’re a beast can be eaten raw

The Traveling Fat Bombs

What I prefer to do is mix my fats together into a travel friendly jar. These jars don’t have any refrigeration necessary items so they’ve lasted me up to months in the cupboard. I usually keep them in the fridge until travel time just in case though. In the car they’ve been heated in Texas sun and are still delicious the next day. I enjoy most edibles and liquids at varying temperatures though so your mouth might have to adapt in ways mine already loves.

You don’t necessarily need fat bombs on your keto or paleo journey but if you’re in keto you need to get your energy from fats. If you’re into paleo then by now you have most likely embraced fats in all their satisfying glory as well. These bombs don’t have to be for travel and can just be scooped and nommed at any point of the day. I generally have a bomb before work to avoid cheating. There’s loaded fries at work.

Basic Recipe:

1 Cup Nut Butter, 1/2 Cup Coconut Butter or Oil, 1/4 Cup Liquid, Teaspoon of Extract. Process and make bombs or put in jar.

Optional Add Ins: Coconut Flakes, whole nuts, various things I can’t think of right now

For this Recipe:

I combined coffee and peanut butter, a deep mouth love of mine. I highly recommend mating the two at some point in your life. You also get your caffeine in while traveling.

Ingredients:

Travel Ingredients

1/2 Cup Homemade Brazilian Nut Butter (Recipe here)

1/2 Cup Trader Joe’s Raw Almond Butter

1/4 Cup Coffee (Quality matters, flavor comes through. I used a French Pressed one)

1 Teaspoon Neilsen Massey Bourbon Vanilla Extract (Quality/Flavor comes through)

Directions:

Put all ingredients in a food processor and pulse to combine.

Store in same jar you took the nut butter from or turn into mustaches.

Traveling Fat Bombs

Jar Time

Yields 24 Tablespoon size servings:

Macros: Total Fat: 10.7g Total Carb: 2.23g Net Carb: 1.84, Protein: 1.57g

Human Friendly Stuffed Peppers

What to do with so many people trying diets and you’re just having a simple dinner party? Is there a recipe that could fit a low carb diet, a paleo diet, and a primal diet?

Peppers

Yes. Cauliflower rice stuffed peppers

Cauliflower rice is the mindblissmouthgasm of keto/paleo life.

. Rice is off the mouth menu for ketoers due to its high carb content (it is 90% carbs) and off the paleo menu because rice contains phytane which renders its nutrients essentially useless to humans. Grains usually contains gluten, which can be highly inflammatory and harmful to the gut, but rice does seem to avoid this issue. The gut plays an essential role in memory as well as can lead to depression and anxiety so amything that harms it is off the mindgasm menu. Do not fret my lovers because the gut can be fixed starting with food.

On the other hand Asians eat rice. Here is an article about the debate on rice from Mark’s Daily Apple. He does a mindful amount of research into these subjects and has dedicated his life to the primal diet and awareness of it.

So how do we get that rice bedding to our meats and veggies? How do we make sushi? We turn cauliflower into rice. All you really want from a substitute for old foods is the texture. Most humans don’t eat rice just by itself. You add cheese or spices or meat or sauces to rice to make it delicious. Usually in a combination. As such it is those flavors and the texture of rice that go so well together.

Cauliflower already tastes amazing on its own so turning it to rice makes your meal that much tastier and mindblissing.

Cauliflower is also a cheaper vegetable and if you’re on a budget it can easily replace your bagged rice.

I did discover that cheese is in the grey zone of paleo today. This is a hard fact to face but it is true that many humans do not process dairy well. We are developing the ability to process grassfed dairy products, especially goat cheese. Mark from Mark’s Daily Apple, a primal food blog, has a well structured article on the subject found if you click here.

Directions for Human Friendly Stuffed Peppers:

Ingredients

These are definitely a base recipe for you to fiddle around with. Try different oils, nuts, spices and meats if they fit all the diets you need or just fit your mouth menu for the night.

Directions:

1) First you will need to acquire three bell peppers (or more), a cauliflower, three tablespoons of oil (any will do but go for organic. I used TJ’s lemon olive oil), and a cup of nuts (I used macadamia).

2) You will then make cauliflower rice. This is actually a simple process where you trim a cauliflower and put it into a food processor or blender then pulse until is rice. If you don’t want a moist caulistuffed pepper go ahead and transfer the rice to a skillet and cook out the water for about eight minutes.

3) Combine the rice with the oil and chopped macadamia nuts.

4) Stuff the peppers with caulirice mix.

5) Spray with coconut oil (optional).

6) Can be served raw or baked in the oven at 325 for 15 minutes then checked on every 5 minutes after.

7) I did add raspberries to mine. They were delicious.

Final

A Simple Mouthgasm: Fried Egg and Goat Cheese Sided With Mushroom

Fried Noms

In life there are moments we just want a quickie. Five minutes and full satisfaction with minimal cleanup.

I can put all your desires in one sweltering pan. As long as you have cast iron, but really, any pan that can hold dripping liquids will do.

On a day not too many days ago I opened the fridge, and there was an egg as well as goat cheese left from the watermelon radish mindtini and the cherry and goat cheese mindtini. I wondered if both egg and goat cheese could join my mouth for a threesome. Maybe the two weren’t meant for mating. The goat cheese is creamy and the egg cripsy.

They came. They saw. They conquered. Crispy cream.

Now it’s time to share.

This recipe is paleo friendly, keto friendly, primal friendly. It is human friendly.

What you need: Your mind, your body, an egg, heat, goat cheese, a mushroom, and oil/butter.

Turn on heat and soak your pain in oil. After you hear a sizzle remove the stem of your mushroom and put the mushroom cap into the pan. Eat the stem. Crack your egg on the counter then pour the egg into the edge of the pan.

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Wait until the egg gets white all over.

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Flip both the egg and the mushroom.

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Wait until you feel it is ready and transfer  your mouthgasms to a cutting board.

Make a goat cheese egg and add it to your mushroom. Let it warm and then spread it across the inner moments. Top fried egg with goat cheese. Realize you have no more eggs and just put the cracked shell into the picture.

Disclaimer: Unless you find humanely raised goat cheese dairy is not paleo. Here is a great article on it.

Fried Noms

Consume.

Flower Raised Mayo

All you will need for happiness is an egg, oil and half the juice of a lemon or lime.

It is time to embrace fats. Do not glower at them with the knowledge the world flucked your mind up with. Remember back to when butter was on everything and bacon came with breakfast. Those moments gasm in your mouth because your body is telling them to you. Your body wants it. People on those silly low fat diets give up or hate life because their body is never full. Well that is what is supposed to happen.Your body isn’t full without fats. Our bodies are meant to talk to us and we are meant to listen.

A while ago we stopped listening to our bodies and instead learned to yell at them. We didn’t want to be hungry because that just meant we’d get fat. At least, that happened to me. I didn’t actually develop any eating disorder but that’s probably because I exercised all the time and did 100 jumping jacks if I gained any weight.

Now I finally have a wonderful relationship with food.

My body creates incredible tastes and I’m full all of the time. Food never controls me but in ways we both delight in. It comes into me and my body opens right up. My mind feels more blissed out and in control than it ever has before.

Even when hungry it is not ravenous. I can think of other things and can even forget about the hunger. As a 110 pound person that was not always the case. Before keto/paleo I would become hungry and then snap and bite at life. People were icky and every motion that wasn’t towards food was useless. Anger also arose and I just lost control. My body needed the food. Now it is satisfied with what I give it. Our relationship no longer needs therapy.

If you are ready to embrace fats then it is probably time for a delicious and fatty sauce. Mayonnaise. Sauces will be your new best friend. Go ahead and update your Myspace, Ha. Like you have that anymore

First of all you will need to acquire one egg. A chicken might just grant your wish. Please get the organic happy ones because the taste really comes out. You can test it. I tested on a highly skeptical friend that called bs and his mind mouth opened right up to my ways. The regular ones just taste either like nothing or plastic. They lack the nutrients to create a flavor.

You will also need a cup of lightly flavored oil. A strong one will work but the taste will overwhelm you. Don’t worry. You will train your brain in time. I chose the lemon olive one from Trader Joe’s and it is scrumtiousgasming.

Finally you will need the juice of half a lime or lemon. Mostly you will need an immersion blender. This is not a purchase you will regret my dears and if you do I welcome complaints.

First search for a container that barely fits the head of your immersion blender. A glass jar generally works. I, personally, could not find a container big enough to fit the head. I accidentally got a big one. I then used my French press to fit it.

Go ahead and lay out all of your ingredients on a cutting board outside:

Mayo Ingredients
Mayo Ingredients

Then, bring them back inside and crack your egg into the container. Realize that you need to take the French Press back outside for another photo. Then squeeze out the juice of half a lime or lemon. Now this squeezing thing. Called. Something. I think just lemon squeezer. Is also incredibly useful. It squeezes the juice and keeps the seeds. What more could one desire?

Don't worry about the dirty boards. No one will notice.
Don’t worry about the dirty boards. No one will notice.

Then you’ll  go back inside and pour in the oil.
Mayo Ingredients Ready To Whirl Captain

Let the egg droop down to the bottom and then stick the head of your immersion blender in. Plug it in first. Then press the blade spinning button and let it sit there for twenty seconds without moving it. Don’t worry. It is working away down there.
Getting Creamy Mam

Your mayo will begin to form into a delicious white.

Getting Creamy Mam

Finally you will have mayo.

Pour into a glass jar or Martini glass to serve.

Flower Raised Mayo
Clean out your immersion blender right away.

Electric Ingredients:

Immersion Blender

Glass Ingredients:

Jar

Food Ingredients:

One egg

One cup of a lightly flavored oil

1/2 the juice of a lime or lemon

Flowers to raise it all with

Directions

Put food ingredients into glass ingredient. Let the egg droop to the bottom. Stick head of immersion blender into jar and let it immerse for twenty seconds. Move up and down to fully form mayo.

Pour into margini glass and dip daikon radish fries in.

It’s deliciously whipped fat. Add whatever else your mouth desires.Many humans use garlic.

Macros: Total Fat 8.6 g, Total Carb: 1g, Protein: .3g