Tag Archives: primal

Slow Cooker Apple Cider

 Share

My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

Directions:

  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)

Bourbon

Whiskey

Vodka

Turn into a Cake

Notes:

Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.

Cinnamon:

2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Advertisements

Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ze Cocomilk Chai Pour MLM

Mmmmm winter is finally coming, and with it must be a drink worthy of a night spent with Margaery.

The earthy spices are finally in the minds of everyone and spreading like cinnamon icing across our foods and dripping into our drinks with cinnamon laced in ginger, fennel, cloves, and even anise.

My humble human mouth is not yet a fan of anise, it tastes like licorice was steeped for twenty hours and then someone tried to turn it to wine.

Wine Love (1)

It just tastes wrong and should not exist.

In my little version of reality this will not be true for long. Taste has to do with your body accepting foods as energy sources, and it simply feared anise because it was new. That was a year ago so right now it may even taste of licorice dripping out of a gorgeous chocolate hinted Merlot.

Coco Milk Chai Holding

Cinnamon sweetly touching ginger and fondling cardamon, black pepper, and cloves should happen every day. Coconut milk has this mouth dripping quality of not overpowering flavors while maintaining that creamy feeling you want from a latte.

Coconut in itself lends a new flavor for lattes that compliments and strengthens the spicy nature of Chai tea. 

Coconut also has its own sweetness despite being sugar free, and allows for very little need when it comes to extra sweetening. Try minimal sweetener and then increase if you feel you must, but the less sweetener the more you can taste the chai 😉

Final Cocomilk Chai Latte

Ingredients:

4 Oz of Fresh Water (quality matters)

1/4 Teaspoon Blue Lotus Masala Chai

(They use a powdered form which makes steeping unnecessary

Or Make Your Own like a beast human

(You’ll surpass my beastliness since I just used the powder)

4 Oz Full Fat Coconut Milk

(Or make your own)

1/8 Tsp Coconut Suga

(For paleo or Erythitrol for a low carb / keto version, coconut will lend a more earthy note)

Outside Coco Milk Chai

Directions:

  1. Boil the coconut milk and water together. If you made your own cocomilk and stored it in the fridge then be sure to add chunks of the cream layer that forms for maximal creaminess.
  2. Right when the cocomilk and water reach boiling stir in the Masla Chai or steep your own chai.
  3. Sweeten and let cool before consuming. My hurt tongue serves as reminder penance.

Chai Holding

Recipe notes:

Making your own coconut milk can definitely be cheaper over time and is so simple that I do it about once a week.

Make sure to use full fat coconut milk otherwise it will taste thin.

P.S. You’re beautiful <(^_^)>

Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup : Paleo and Low Carb

At this point I fear everything in a can but coconut milk, and I’m just avoiding that thought. There’s even three coconut milk DIY recipes stored in my head, but the first recipe I attempted chugged up the coconut shreds to the top of the blender. I thought I messed up and just stored the concoction in my fridge to be resumed later.

Later turned to a week later and by then it was sour to the immediate realization of my nose upon opening the bottle. My defiant mouth tried anyway and spat it out. I recently learned it lasts for about three days and you’re supposed to strain out the shreds of coconut. With this confession you’ve been my priest and I can be cleansed of coconut sins. Thank you. I shall resume coconut milk making once the last three cans have been used.

When it comes to ketchup I not only fear the bottled Heinz version, but also fear the cans of paste required in most recipes. I’ve already made an heirloom marinara, can free, but I recently wondered if ketchup was possible too. If it just involved the same concept of simmering out the water then of course it was possible. Ketchup is like marinara but you replace the water with vinegar.

Then I found this fabulous recipe and grew very excited. I didn’t female hulk from the bliss, but there was definitely some magic beanstalks forming into lightbulbs. Slow cooker ketchup was already on the Internet and I didn’t have to guess my blissing way into failed attempts. Even more enticing:

This recipe could be so easily turned to fall with pumpkin spice!

What you really want in your mouth is that taste of vinegar fondling tomatoes for hours and hours. Then you reach ultimate tomato vinegar mating bliss ketchup. Cinnamon, allspice, cloves and nutmeg only enhance the earthy essence of tomatoes. All of these spices are packed with nutrients we need to build our immune systems and fight the Fall of sickness away. This ketchup makes amazing meatloaf (recently discovered) and can easily be used for parsnip chips or tofu french fries, avocado fries or mixed into guacamole. Just let your mind run free in ketchup possibility. 

If you run out of time in the day and want to fall asleep after a deep massage with a homemade massage bar, then you can pour the ketchup into a vessel, I used a cake pan, and resume the next morning.

There are several ways to make this mouthblissing ketchup depending on mouth and time desires.

In happy diet news you can serve this to any of your human friends as it is low carb, vegan, vegetarian, paleo, primal, atkins, whole 30, all natural, gluten free, sugar free, nutfree, and dairy free. Phew. Way too many diets to keep up with now. I like to just call it human friendly.

Warped

Ingredients for Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup:

1 TBS Pumpkin Spice

2 Pounds Tomatoes (about five cups)

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

(I used bourbon Apple Cider Vinegar and Red Wine with Delicious Results)

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt

1 Cinnamon Stick (optional)

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

For A Whole Spice Version:

2 Pounds Tomatoes

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt
2 Crushed Cinnamon Sticks
1/2 Tsp Cloves
1 Tsp Allspice
1 Crushed Nutmeg 

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

 
 
Directions:
 
 (If you have time to blend the tomatoes after one hour for spices to really seep in):
 
1. Chop up tomatoes and drop into your slow cooker with the salt.
2. Cook tomatoes on high for one hour and then immersion blend the tomatoes. This can splatter so either do this shirtless or wear an apron and use the Low setting.
or
Alternate 2. Skip immersion blending and just add all ingredients to the slow cooker and proceed to step 3.
3. Add the spices by putting all but the cinnamon and nutmeg into a nut bag or cheesecloth tied into a bag, and add them to the slow cooker.
4.  Cover with vinegar and make sure bag is covered by the tomatoes.
5. Add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
6.  Cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off.
 
7.  Remove spices and leave chunky or blend in batches for smoother ketchup.
Visual Tutorial:
Chop up the tomatoes.

Add tomatoes to the slow cooker with the dash of salt.
After one hour on high heat immersion blend the tomatoes.
Put the all spices, but for the cinnamon and nutmeg, into a nutbag or tied up cheesecloth.
Add the bag, then add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
Cook on low with the lid off for 6-8 hours.

Blend into ketchup or store as is after removing spices.
Alternate Directions:
 

 
 
(Just add all to the slow cooker and blend at the end)
 
 
 
1.  Chop up tomatoes and add to slow cooker.
2.  Coat with a tablespoon of pumpkin spice and dash of salt.
3.  After one hour: blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick
or
Alternate 3.  Add the vinegar and cinnamon stick and cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off. (Skip the immersion blending)
4.  Unplug the slow cooker and let cool until no longer hot to the touch.
5.  Blend the mixture in batches for a less chunky version and store in the fridge.
Visual Tutorial
 
Add tomatoes to the slow cooker:

Add spices and after one hour immersion blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick.

Store as is after slow cooking on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off or blend.

For Abbeast

Brain Invigorating Aloe Smoothie

I know I know, your insides aren’t sunburned so why would you ever eat aloe? The green silky plant is traditionally used in a medical sense, but as it so happens you can also consume aloe. The benefits of this plant inside you are so far reaching that there has been an article published and dedicated to it in the Indian Journal of Dermatology :

 “The Aloe vera plant has been known and used for centuries for its health, beauty, medicinal and skin care properties. The name Aloe vera derives from the Arabic word “Alloeh” meaning “shining bitter substance,” while “vera” in Latin means “true.” 2000 years ago, the Greek scientists regarded Aloe vera as the universal panacea. The Egyptians called Aloe “the plant of immortality.”

Where I really start to mindlove this plant’s abilities is when it comes to amino acids. Amino acids neurotransmitters are vital to brain functioning. The most common amino acids are GABA, and are most commonly found in the proteins that we consume. These amino acids are required to create the four types of monamines: dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These monoamine neurotransmitters are so beloved due to their ability to regulate our body and brain. Dopamine gives us that feeling of pleasure, and all of these monamines help us connect and regulate life. A lack of dopamine, or the inability to react to it, can cause mind and body scorginess. The most commonly known malfunction is Parkinson’s, and there is also a correlation with schizophrenia and ADHD when it comes to dopmaine or lack thereof. There is also an issue with the dopamine receptors when it comes to Parkinson’s, but if you want to know more you can click here.

To avoid such turmoil in our minds let’s unite with aloe which has 20 of the 22 human required amino acids and 7 of the 8 essential amino acids. Unfortunately aloe comes on strong and is hard to eat alone. I’ve been having it for about year in this electrolyte bliss drink and still can’t go it alone.

Recently I acquired an actual aloe plant and am getting the raw meat and juice from that. The taste became even stronger. You have to consume it within about a minute of exposing it so I had to think fast and came up with this smoothie do smooth the bitter.

smoothie Strip

The Taste

Invigoratingly fresh and incredibly refreshing, you can’t not have this inside you, (you actually can but life is better when you just give in). The berries sweeten and harmonize while squishing out that bitter taste and leaving you with a refreshing mouthgasm.

Aloe Smoothie Ingredients

2 TBS Fresh Aloe Vera or Aloe Vera Juice 

1 Cup Coconut or Almond Milk

Dash of Salt

1/4 Cup Frozen Berries (I went blackberry)

Aloe Smoothie Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Oh and aloe is an amazing gel for the hair:

Aloe Hair

Macros with Blackberries:

Total Fat: 5.2g, Sodium: 34.8 mg, Potassium: 92.8 mg, Total Carb: 12.9g, Net CarbsL 11.9

Rich In: Vitamin A, Vitamin B-12, Amino Acids, Calcium Manganese, Magnesium, Iron and Folate

Amar S, Resham V, Saple DG. Aloe vera; a short review. Indian J Dermatol. 2008;53(4):163–166.[PMC free article] [PubMed]

Low Carb Slow Cooker Oxtail

Adventurous Ainsley decided to randomly buy oxtail when at the farmer’s market. At this point the Internet is able to tell us how to cook any spontaneous decisions. My grandmother passed and my mother doesn’t cook so the Internet is my food nonny/mother chef. Father cooks really well, but I’m six hours from him and his specialties involve potatoes and tortilla chips which are both off this mouth menu.

I mouth rave over the Internet’s value of having recipes for any diet.

We have cooking classes at our fingertips in both videos and extensively beautiful blog posts. So when searching for ox tail I found this amazing man’s YouTube video:

My recipe draws a lot from his. If it were a stick figure drawing he’d have drawn everything up to the circle head. The main difference is how we wind up cooking the oxtails and that mine is a single serve. If you want a full on family size go with his marinade and then come back to me for the slow cooking and broth making.

Oxtail is one of those mouth ripping flavors you will never forget and I recommend at least trying it twenty times in your life. The flavor is reminiscent of ribs but with a rougher texture. Since the meat really needs to be marinated and cooked slowly the flavor really seeps in to every delicious moment.

Oxtail is also loaded with delicious body and mind nutrients. It is rich in electrolytes like magnesium, sodium and potassium. Oxtail also reduces inflammation which is linked to depression and anxiety.

The best reason to nom this mouthful of earthenly soaked meat is because it is delicious and really fills you up. The nutrients in it are perfect for the human body and so you feel deeply satisfied in mouth, body, and mind.

Slow Cooker Ox Tail MLM

Single Serve Slow Cooker Oxtail

1 lb Oxtail (try the local butcher or farmer’s market)

1 Lemon (optional)

2 Sprigs Thyme

2 Sprigs Rosemary

1/2 Teaspoon Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Allspice

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/4 Cup Avocado Oil (or safe olive oil)

1 Tbs Worcestershire Sauce or Coconut Aminos

1/4 Cup of Spring Onions, Chopped

1/2 of a Yellow Onion, Diced or Sliced

2 Garlic Cloves, Smashed

2 Sprigs of Thyme

Directions for Marinade:

  1. Place the oxtail in a large glass container or any container that can hold all of the ingredients (I’ve used a loaf pan before and covered it in foil).
  2. Squeeze lemon juice over the oxtail and discard or chop up the rind into some soda water with vodka.
  3. Add the spices to the meat and rub them in with your hands (fair warning: make sure there’s no soap left on your hands after washing or it will leave a soapy taste in your meat).
  4. Pour the oil over the oxtail and the the Worcestershire sauce or coconut aminos.
  5. Add the onions, garlic, and thyme.
  6. Let marinade in the fridge for about 24 hours or as long as you can.

Slow Cooking Ingredients

1 Tbs Oil

1/2 Cup Coffee or 1/4 cup Pure Cold Brew Coffee

(without any water added)

3/4 Cups Coconut Milk or Broth

Slow Cooking Directions

  1. Heat oil in a pan.
  2. Sear oxtail pieces on each side for two minutes.
  3. Put all of your marinade and the oxtail into a slow cooker.
  4. Pour in coffee or pure cold brew.
  5. Pour in coconut milk or broth.
  6. Cook on low for eight hours.

Slow Cooker Oxtail Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Visual Tutorial:

Marinade the Oxtail for 24 Hours:

Marinade

Place in Slow Cooker:

First Slow Cooker

Pour in Coffee and Broth or Coconut Milk

Second Slow Cooker Ox Tail

Cook on Low for Eight Hours

To Make Broth:

Once you’ve ripped all the meat from the bones go ahead and put them back in your slow cooker.

Bones Back In

Add another sprig of thyme or two and cover with water until the bones are just covered.

Slow Cooker Two

Cook on low for 12 hours and then strain out the bones and freeze or store the broth.

American Sushi

American Sushi Stage One

Apparently Americans struggle with many deficiencies. Most of these deficiencies can be made up for with organ meat (om nom noms), but for some we can not stay above ground. The ocean now holds nutrients that we supposedly need to function. As a human in the desert of Lubbock I avoid fish in order to not die. I’m also deeply afraid of the ocean ever since Jaws and Finding Nemo (they do not prepare kids for that deep water scene) so I can’t go self diving for it.

One thing I can trust here is seaweed. The nommy green sheets comes in cute little packages that look like Japan blissing out on us. Oh the mutual love bubbles of food exchange. Japan even innovated food bubbles to not pop. You can Google it. It isn’t true but you can still Google it.

Instead of trying to do anything more than meat, cheese and seaweed I’ve just added meat and cheese to seaweed. The creativity comes in adding different spices to your pieces. You could also party platter this and I’m sure laughs would come into your ears. You could even label it healthy.

Seaweed is deliciously salty, crunchy, and the perfect mini pallet for tiny sandwich like noms. Paprika lends and earthy note while even Italian spice will work in your favor. This recipe can lend variety after a long day with only three minutes of preperation.

Ingredients:

Sushi Nori Seaweed Sheets

Slices of Grass fed Cheese (Kerrygold Cheese is human safe)

Slices of Human Safe Meat

Dash of Spices:

Paprika, Salt, Onion Powder, Garlic Powder, 21 Seasoning

Directions:

Combine the Ingredients

American Sushi

Radish Chips (Low Carb and Paleo)

Raw Radish Leaves and Chips

*imagine healthy tip and witty personal story here*

If you do want epically indulgent ear stimulation though listen to this playlist. You’ll also be listening to the sounds I’m writing this to.

Health Tip: Do not resist dancing

Woot. Thought of a health tip. So now you’ll just have to imagine a personal story.

Radish and Leaves Chips Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Radish Leaves and Chips Ingredients:

Optional Drizzle: 

2 Tablespoons of Coconut Butter

1 Tablespoon of Coconut Oil

Gently melt on low heat together for 15 seconds and drizzle over leaves and radishes.

Radish Leaves Chips Ingredients:

Leaves of a Radish Bunch

Small Drizzle of Avocado or Human Friendly Oil (not canola or fake EVOO)

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Teaspoon Various Spices (optional)

Herby spices work best

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 to maintain enyzmes/nutrients or 300 for a ten minute quickie.
  2. Cut the leaves away from the radishes.
  3. Thoroughly rinse out the leaves of dirt. The human body does not like the taste of dirt so be thorough
  4. Dry the leaves with either a salad spinner or by vigorous shaking over the sink. If too much water remains the leaves will not chip up with the other leaves, but can be baked longer into chips.
  5. Cut the leaves and stems multiple times.
  6. Toss the leaves and stems into a bowl.
  7. Toss the leaves in a small drizzle of oil and salt (too much oil will prevent chipping).
  8. Spread the leaves out thoroughly onto a silpat lined baking sheet or a parchment lined sheet.
  9. Bake at 200 for one hour (checking at 45 minutes and every three minutes after) or 300 for ten minutes. Turn the chips at the halfway point.
  10. Take the leaves out of the oven and set aside.

Baked Radish Chips Ingredients

Bunch of Radishes

1/2 Tablespoon Avocado or Human Friendly Oil

1/4 Tsp Salt

1/4 Tsp Various Spices

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 200 or 375 for a fifteen minute quickie.
  2. Peel/scrape off any strings.
  3. Cut the radishes into chips.
  4. Toss the chips in oil, salt, and spices or spray with coconut oil:
  5. Line the chips out on a baking sheet.
  6. Bake at 200 for an hour (check every five minutes afterwards) or 375 for ten minutes and then flip and bake for five

Visual Tutorial for Leaves:

   Preheat the oven to 200 to maintain enyzmes/nutrients or 300 for a ten minute quickie.

   Cut the leaves from the radishes:

Removing the leaves

   Rinse the leaves and toss off the water:

Shaking in my Leaves

   Cut the leaf bunch a few times:

Cut Again

   Put the cut remains into a bowl:

Into the Bowl

   Toss the leaves and stems in oil, salt, and spices:

Toss

   Lay the leaves out on the pan. Really spread them out as the bunched ones won’t crisp up:

Spread Out

   Bake at 200 for about an hour or 300 for ten minutes.

Visual Tutorial for Radish Chips

   Preheat oven to 200 or 375 for a fifteen minute quickie.

   Shave off any hairs:

I need shaved

   Cut the radishes into chips:

Chip Me

   Toss the chips in oil, salt, and spices or spray with coconut oil:

   Line the chips out on a baking sheet:

Lay On Pan

   Bake at 200 for an hour (check every five minutes afterwards) or 375 for ten minutes and then flip and bake for five

Radish Leaves and Chips Mind Lifting Mouthgasms