Tag Archives: tutorial

Cocomilk (Coconut Milk) Recipe and Guide

Cocomilk Final

If you are looking for the freshest tasting coconut milk bliss then you have come to the right words. I’ve scoured the Internet cookbook, (basically food blogs) and realized there is a need for another coconut milk tutorial. When making a blog post I try to keep with ideas that are new and contribute to the world of food, rather than retell food stories that are already on the Internet or in books, and honestly there are a lot of coconut milk tutorials already all over the Internet’s pages.

 There are many cocomilk tutorials that get the basics down, but I have a few personal tips and tricks that will be valuable to your coconut milk making experience.

1.   Coconut Flake Size Matters

2.   Use Just Beneath Scalding Water (110 degrees is optimal)

3.   If You Use This Milk In Recipes Be Sure to Use the Cream

4. Vanilla Changes Everything

5.   Drink or Bake with Within Three to Four Days

6.  Use the Coconut Pulp

7.  Use a Wide Mouth Container for Storage

Raw Cocomilk

1.   The first tip is that the size of the coconut flakes matters. Obviously tiny shredded coconuts will be packed into a cup and have more coconut volume than large flakes, but I didn’t realize this until making coconut milk with the same ratio of large coconut flakes to small flakes. The result was a pretty watery milk that didn’t compare to the full on mouth bliss I’d come to know. My mouth already knew what full tasting coconut milk was, and thus could not be deceived by this coconut watery perpetrator of mouth lies.

Measuring the coconut out into grams would be an excellent way to get the right ratio for this milk, but I do not have a scale and I’m sure a lot of others don’t either. So cups it is (to be updated in the future with grams once I get a scale).

2.   You definitely want to use warm water when you make the milk because room temperature water causes the cream to stick to the edges of your blender. If you do use room temp water by accident then just use a plastic thingy to scrape out the coconut cream and add it to your cream or just eat it as is.

3.  When using this milk you really want the fullness of the flavor to come through.  The delicious fat of the milk solidifies to the top of your milk when it gets cold and forms a layer on the top. To get to the milk I just poke a hole through the cream, pour out the milk, and then add some of the cream.

4.   You can easily add other extracts, but vanilla harmonizes with coconut like a melody of a goddess.

5.   You will easily be able to smell when this milk goes sour, and it happens really quickly. This also means the flavor is incredibly fresh tasting if you consume it in time, and it will be hard not to anyways 😉

6.  I let my bag hang outside overnight and turn it into cocopulp crackers, or just use it for texture in fat bombs. There are tons of other uses for it though, such as the ones found in this word.

7.  I save up old containers and use them to store my coconut milk, apple cider or kombucha. The old Trader Joe’s jar is actually perfect for this. Use glass containers for warm liquids, but plastic is fine once they are room temperature or cold.

 

 

Ingredients:

Ingredients

1.5 – 2 Cups Shredded Unsweetened Coconut

or

3-3.5  Cups Large Flaked Unsweetened Coconut

4 Cups Barely Scalding Water/ 110 Degrees F (If boiling it could explode out of the blender)

Cheesecloth or Nut Milk Bag (I use this hemp one)

Raw Cocomilk 2

Directions:

  1. Combine your coconut and water in a high speed blender.
  2. Blend on high for a few minutes.
  3. Strain the milk through a nut milk bag (found here), or cheesecloth.
  4. If making more milk put the pulp back in your blender, add more coconut and repeat.
  5. Dry out your cocopulp by hanging the bag outside and either make coconut flour or use the pulp for texture.
  6. Drink within 3-4 days.

 

Expanded 7.

Use Me Bottles

In the fridge your coconut milk will separate and make a cream. You can whip this up for coconut whipped cream, or just add the cream into your morning warm cocomilk. (I do this a lot and just add a dash of vanilla for flavor).

Large Jar

If you use an old bottle with a short mouth the cocomilk winds up hardening and you have to either stab into the bottle with a long knife or heat up the bottle in water on the stove. I do this if I’ve run out of jars. 

Small Bottle

 

Happy cocomilking.

When finished put on fuzzy socks and go take pictures of your epicness outside.

Fuzzy

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Deeply Chocolate Raspberry Macadamia Cups

Chocolate Drizzled Me

There’s a one to one ration that gives you a five minute quickie with mouth bursts of deep chocolate. Deadly darkened to only your desires with sweetness dripping from your fingers.

Coconut oil to chocolate. No melting required. Nothing needed but your hands and a combination of wet dripping oil and fluffy cocoa powder. Two on two melting together. Hard powders and oils to liquid mouthbliss. Then off to the fridge to become hard again.

You can take them back to room temperature, get your hands wet in oil, or not, and mold them all over again the moment you are wanting or lost in cravings. Then you can add raspberries, blueberries, cinnamon, snozberries, any mind desires.

I could really use some chocolate right now…or other things. Or both. A chocolate massage bar recipe is coming soonish.

So about these better than Reese’s mouthgasms. You basically take a 1 to 1 ratio of cocoa powder and coconut oil for some incredible deep chocolate. Some people can’t handle it going that deep though and need some practice. I added a half teaspoon of coconut sugar to my 1/4 cup to 1/4 cup ratio but you could also add erythitrol, go black and never come back, or even increase your sweetener.

The best part of this recipe is you can mold the cocoa and oil together and add just a bit of sweetener and increase it from there. You are in complete dominance of this chocolate. You could even take half of the batch with sweetener and the other half without sweetener and every day sample a bit of the darkness until you can go further into its depths.

Final Dark Chocolate Raspberry Macadamia Cups Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

The Taste

The advantage of getting into deeper and deeper chocolate is you get to taste and feel the maximum amount of pleasure chocolate has to offer. Earthy sensual notes that pair well with coconut sugar’s earthy flavors very well. If you layer that pleasure with macadamia butter then you’re just going to mouthgasm all over the place. The raspberries are optional but they add a bright crunch and fruity moment. Seriously though. Put these inside you.

Ingredients:

1/4 Cup Dark Cocoa

1/4 Cup Coconut Oil

6 T Macadamia Butter (or any nut butter…or jelly…or anything your mouth desires)

2-3 T Raspberry Pieces (chopped up frozen raspberries)

1/2 Teaspoon to Teaspoon Coconut Sugar (paleo) or erythitol (keto)

Silicone Cupcake Molds

Choco Cups Real

Directions:

  1. Mold the chocolate and oil together with your hands until they melt into chocolate.
  2. Mix the chocolate with raspberry pieces.
  3. Press the chocolate to the bottoms of your silicone molds and up the sides.
  4. Pour in your nut butter or mouthly desires.
  5. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  6. Cover the filling with chocolate.
  7. Refrigerate again for 30 minutes, or just eat them now.

Notes: The chocolate still stays solid at room temperature but does melt easily into your hands. It is still delicious but to keep the shape you will want to leave these in the molds or leave them in the fridge.

Visual Tutorial

   1.   Mold the cocoa and oil together

Chocolate Mold

2.   Mix in the raspberries

Raspberry Add In

99.   Imagine the rest

Raspberry Chocolate Macadamia Cups Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Macros: Makes 6

With Erythitol:

Total Fat: 21.8g, Potassium: 59.5g, Total Carb: 4.6g, Dietary Fiber: 2.9g, Protein 1.7g

Net Carbs: 1.7 Per Cup

With Coconut Sugar

Total Carb: 5g, Net Carbs: 2.1

2 Ingredients Zucchini Muffins

There is too much zucchini growing in all of our gardens and minds right now (all of those food bloggers keep putting it in there).

In order to let you savor zucchini with smilegasms I have made for you a very easy noms that takes two ingredients most likely already in your fridge. Eggs and zucchinis.

Both ingredients are easily obtained from your local farmer’s market, even if you live in a desert (my life). Honestly there’s just something primal in the satisfaction of getting what you put inside you from the person that grew it.

This recipe is shockingly delicious due to its minimal nature, but both ingredients get to really come together inside your mouth. Easily cast iron heated in the mornings and you can keep them simple and change the toppings. Hot sauce, chives, paprika, tomatoes, beaver tongue. Just let your mind grow wild.

Ingredients:

6 Happy Eggs

1 Cup/Half of a Zucchini

Spiralizer or Knife

Donut Pan or Muffin Pan or Cupcake pan

  1. Preheat oven to 375 Degrees
  2. Sprilaze your zucchini or cut it up into chunks with a knife/your teeth (I do this with chocolate for my mug cakes all the time).
  3. Salt and pepper your zucchini to taste preference and toss.
  4. Circle the noodles into your donut pan or put them into a muffin/donut pan after thoroughly spraying it down with coconut oil/other oil
  5. Crack an egg into each hole and swirl it out a bit (the best tasting ones are just gently moved around instead of scrambling the egg).
  6. Put your pan into the oven and cook for 20-25 minutes.

Visual Tutorial

    1.   Spiralize the zucchini.

Spiralizing

2.   Swirl the zucchini into holes/place into muffin pan.

Spiralized Zoodles

2.   Crack an egg into each hole.

20150912_111455

3.   Bake for 20-25 minutes and then pop them out. Can be stored in the fridge for at least a week (mine were gone after that).

Zucchini Donuts

3 Way Cold Brew Coffee Tutorial

Coldly Brewed

Coldbrew is one of those things that sounds fancy and complicated and as though it will cost a fancy penny and a complicated work day.

In cold brew reality you can make incredible coffee flavors your mouth has never known with any container and something that can hold tiny coffee granules (cheesecloth, coffee filter, really fine laced leggings).

Why is Cold Brew so Superior?

  1. More Caffeine: Cold Brew has more caffeine inside it since you don’t burn out any of that delicious energy as you aren’t using hot water.
  2. Caffeine/Flavor Regulation: If you’re looking to detox on caffeine or even just regulate the amount this is the way to go. On days you need less coffee you just pour less into your bottle/liquid container. The amount is easily increased or decreased based on your mouth/body desires.
  3. The Flavor: Since you don’t burn out any of the flavor you get the depth and brightness that lies in your coffee beans. I’m tasting a beginning, middle and end of coffee notes with each moment of liquid that comes inside you.
  4. Cold Undiluted Coffee: At wretched coffee shops that need to be cast into the fires of Mount Doom they just add ice to regular brewed coffee. That is just flavored water…okay all liquid is but they do it wrong.

Raw

Ingredients for Single Life Cold Brew Coffee: (Makes Two Cups)

1 and 3/4 Cup of Finely Ground Coffee (or the size of breadcrumbs, but there’s a debate going for which grindis best)

Quality of coffee matters since you can really taste it. What you smell you’ll taste.

3 and 1/2 Cups of Filtered Cold Water (quality matters)

A French press or Liquid Container

Family Size Cold Brew

Galon Sized Jar or Liquid Holder

3 Cups Finely Ground Coffee 

A Gallon of Water Minus 3 Cups of Coffee Grounds

Method One: The French Press

This will be the easiest method since you simply grind, add water, let it sit and then press.

  1. Put about a cup of coffee into a grinder (spice grinder or coffee grinder works) and work in two to three batches.
  2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee on a very fine ground (for the fullest extraction of flavor).
  3. Put the grinds at the bottom of your French press.
  4. Pour 3.5 cups cold water (or room temp) into your French Press/ fill to the brim.
  5. Stir the water and grinds then cover the press with the handle fully up.
  6. Let sit erect for 12 hours and up to 24 hours.
  7. After 12 hours press all the way down and pour the coffee into a container then store in the fridge and make a few coffee ice cubes for hangover smoothies/for future use.

Method Two: Random Container and Cheesecloth/Coffee Filter

  1. Follow the first two steps from above.
  2. Put the grinds into a container, preferably with a pour spout.
  3. Pour 3.5 cups of cold or room temperature water into container.
  4. Stir the water and the grinds together or put the lid on and shake.
  5. Let sit for 12 to 24 hours and go do life things.
  6. After 12 hours have passed strain through a cheesecloth or coffee filter and store.

Method Three: Family Sized

  1. Take 3 cups of finely ground coffee and put into the bottom of a gallon sized vessel (preferably with a spigot).
  2. Pour cold or room temperature water into the grounds.
  3. Swirl the coffee and water together.
  4. Let sit for 12-24 hours and filter out  in batches.

Photo Tutorial

  1. Show off Sir Thor

Thor and Coffee

2. Grind up 1.75 cups of coffee then bring it outside for the sake of lighting

Grinded

3.  Pour water into grinds. Don’t bother going outside and just take a phone picture. Make it look artsy to distract people.

Water Pour

4.   Stir the grinds and water into each other.

Stir

4.   Put the French cover on top but leave it fully up for 12-24 hours.

Up and Wanting

5.  After 12 hours have passed press the handle all the way down.Press

6.  Store in saved up glass bottles. Try to not spill

Filter

7.   Or store into ice cube tray.

Ice Cube Storage

Method Two

   1.   Follow the steps from above but use a plastic container and filter through a coffee filter or cheesecloth.

Coffee FIlter

Method Three

Imagine Pictures Here

3 Way Cold Brew

Low Carb and Paleo Heirloom Marinara Sauce

 

This sauce is incredibly adaptive and could even evolve into a new veggie of mouthgasms. Watermelon marinara anyone? I kid, too much sugar. I’ve made it without the onion, with cardamon seeds, with and without fresh herbs and every time it is deep earth inside your mouth. To my mouth at least. Admittedly mine is different from yours, but I do have a twin so the likelihood of my mouth being exactly like another human’s is pretty high.

 

She still eats packaged things and even had fast food yesterday though. 

Her mouth may have evolved past mine, but I can taste the sweetness lurking in little Brussels’s leaves so mwahaha.

It isn’t killing me inside….except for all of the little Bing Bongs I didn’t notice. (Inside Out reference).

Hmm

The heirloom tomatoes are not necessary for this recipe, but they do add a complexity and variance to the recipe that I fully enjoy. You could use a can of tomatoes or other tomatoes, but you want the amount of fresh tomatoes to equal about a can of tomatoes. This recipe is easily halved as I’ve confirmed many times now. Half takes a whole spaghetti squash and 3/4 of the recipe can coat a pizza. 

Ingredients You Need:

2 Cloves of Minced Garlic

1 Small Yellow Onion or Half of a Large One (red or green also works, yellow and green have the lowest carbs, chart here)

1.5 T Olive Oil or Avocado Oil

5-7 Heirloom Tomatoes Chopped or in 8ths

Bay Leaf

1 T Whole Coriander Seeds (optional, adds earthy notes)

Dash of sal

Fresh Herbs (thyme, basil, rosemary, etc.) Optional

Fresh Made Spaghetti Squash to Serve Over (recipe here)

Wok or High Sided Sauce Pan (Wok gives out ninja feels)

To Create:

  1. Warm the olive oil over medium high heat and add the onions. Let the onions turn translucent (about five minutes) and stir or press in the garlic. Wait for the smell to seep into your nose (about 30 seconds).
  2. Add the tomatoes into the pan. You’ll want to squish them into the pan with your hands, but don’t worry if not all of the juice releases, sometimes they need to be warmed before full squishing can happen.
  3. Add your bay leaf, salt, cardamon and fresh herbs into the tomatoes. Basil comes very quickly so wait until the end to add it, if using.
  4. Resquish the tomatoes with a fork or the back of a spatula now that they have warmed. If they’re still unsquishable you can wait until the last ten minutes, but you want the juices to simmer out into the sauce (in order to become sauce).
  5. Let simmer for 20 minutes after bringing to a tiny boil/rapid simmering.
  6. Make the spaghetti squash to pour the sauce over.
  7. Halfway scrape spaghetti strings of spaghetti squash then pour the marinara into it. If you’re eating for one only use 1/4 of the marinara in half of the spaghetti squash and save the rest.
  8. Use the squash as a bowl and continue making spaghetti out of it. Do not eat the bowl

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  • Warm the olive oil

Drizzle in the Wetness

  • Add the onions. Let the onions turn translucent (about five minutes)

Simply Onions

  • Stir or press in the garlic. Wait for the smell to seep into your nose (about 30 seconds). Garlic Me
  • Add the Tomatoes with a Squish

Squish Me

  • Add your bay leaf, salt, cardamon and fresh herbs into the tomatoes.

Herbed and Spiced

  • Resquish the tomatoes with a fork or the back of a spatula now that they have warmed.
  • Let simmer for 20 minutes after bringing to a tiny boil/rapid simmering.

To be Finalized

 

Macros Per 1/4 of Recipe :

 

Total Fat: 7g, Potassium: 17.1mg, Total Carbs: 3.5g, Net Carbs: .9, Protein: 1.9g

Rich in Vitamin A (30%), Vitamin C (60.5%)

How to: Make Spaghetti Squash

30 Minutes Spagetti Squash

I have some memories of pasta on cold nights of childhood.

Meatballs and sauce soaking long noodles that I struggled to look proper with. My pinkie did not stay up (did you know that originated as a level of drunkenness test?). I remember loving the meatballs the most and being sure to beg father for extras. Otherwise, in pasta food memories, I would order at an Italian restaurant, and that meant pasta. I bet they’d have a pasta dessert if they could.

Angel hair baked in lemon surrounding a toffee chocolate ball anyone?

 Chicken Alfredo was my favored pasta dish. Once I left the nest I only feasted on 30 second macaroni bowls, the Kraft ones. I loved those more than the grass water I used to boil. Yeah…I’m that much of a fairy and loved grass. One day I went outside and picked some, boiled it, and drank. I remember that so vividly. It was so liquidgasming.

Fresh, and like drinking the smell of mowed grass.

I found pasta annoying otherwise, except for Ramen. The weight and mental issues I gained in college make so much sense when I see them typed out on this screen. The Ramen was totally made healthier with chunks of celery and carrots though 😉 .  Ever since going low carb high fat pasta and rice have been mouth banned, and never really missed. They’re just fillers and bacon and butter fill you more. Then one night, at some point in the past, I tried Spaghetti Squash. It was odd but I became ravenous for it and started eating it all the time. This was mostly because I was the only one eating keto and my lover didn’t want it so it entered me often. A full squash makes about four meals. I stored half in the fridge and it lasted for a week. The taste was changed everyday. One day it would have marinara on it one day, lemon pepper the next day, cheddar cheese with Italian spices, and finally a chocolate cinnamon with berries. That one is magical.

All vegetables are basically incredibly nutritious for us, especially those found above the ground. Embrace the caveside.

(The brologic being since our ancestors had access to it then it is most likely what we are meant to eat)

Foods naturally accessible to us just work because no matter how much we try to disconnect from this earth we still need it to survive. Just one night try spaghetti squash over your pasta and see if you can feel and taste the way your body takes it in. Feel the difference.

Away from bro logic it is way easier and more delicious to reheat than noodles. I’ve used both cast iron and flames as well as microwave and both reheat it to the same texture.

 Spaghetti Parts

Buy or Grow a Spaghetti Squash (local farmer’s markets have these right now too, go interact with your food maker)

Locate 2 T of Oil (Look for dark bottled EVOO that has been cold pressed)

Large Glass Baking Dish

Oven

To Create Spaghetti

  1. Preheat the oven to 375 Degrees.
  2. Cut the Spaghetti Squash in Half (Spaghetti squash are very hard and need extra muscle power. Activate beast mode for this part). I leave the stem on to use as a  grip.
  3. StabScoop out the innards with your hands and put them aside. Take a low quality picture and turn the picture into a painting and hope no one notices. You can roast the seeds or just eat them raw. You can also eat the innards
  4. Remove the InnardsDrizzle the squash in oil and then rub that wet goodness all over its insides.
  5. Dripping OilPut the squash face side down in a baking dish (or on top of a baking pan) and put the whole thing in the oven.
  6. Glass TimeLet it spaghetti up for 30-35 minutes. (If you forget about it, like me, put it in the fridge for about an hour otherwise it is too soft to perform).
  7. Fork it/scrape prongs across the insides until they turn to spaghetti.
  8. ForkingLeave the spaghetti in and use the shell as a bowl or store for up to a week in the fridge.

Spaghetti Squash Tutorial

Nutritional Breakdown: Pasta vs Spaghetti Squash

Serving Size: 140g:

Whole Wheat Pasta:

Total Fat: 1g, Total Carb: 37g, Sugars: 1g Iron 8%DV

Servings Size: 155g

Spaghetti Squash:

Total Fat: 0g, Total Carb: 10g, Net Carbs: 8g, Sugars: 4g, Vitamin A, Iron and Calcium: 3%, Vitamin c 9%DV

Flower Raised Mayo

All you will need for happiness is an egg, oil and half the juice of a lemon or lime.

It is time to embrace fats. Do not glower at them with the knowledge the world flucked your mind up with. Remember back to when butter was on everything and bacon came with breakfast. Those moments gasm in your mouth because your body is telling them to you. Your body wants it. People on those silly low fat diets give up or hate life because their body is never full. Well that is what is supposed to happen.Your body isn’t full without fats. Our bodies are meant to talk to us and we are meant to listen.

A while ago we stopped listening to our bodies and instead learned to yell at them. We didn’t want to be hungry because that just meant we’d get fat. At least, that happened to me. I didn’t actually develop any eating disorder but that’s probably because I exercised all the time and did 100 jumping jacks if I gained any weight.

Now I finally have a wonderful relationship with food.

My body creates incredible tastes and I’m full all of the time. Food never controls me but in ways we both delight in. It comes into me and my body opens right up. My mind feels more blissed out and in control than it ever has before.

Even when hungry it is not ravenous. I can think of other things and can even forget about the hunger. As a 110 pound person that was not always the case. Before keto/paleo I would become hungry and then snap and bite at life. People were icky and every motion that wasn’t towards food was useless. Anger also arose and I just lost control. My body needed the food. Now it is satisfied with what I give it. Our relationship no longer needs therapy.

If you are ready to embrace fats then it is probably time for a delicious and fatty sauce. Mayonnaise. Sauces will be your new best friend. Go ahead and update your Myspace, Ha. Like you have that anymore

First of all you will need to acquire one egg. A chicken might just grant your wish. Please get the organic happy ones because the taste really comes out. You can test it. I tested on a highly skeptical friend that called bs and his mind mouth opened right up to my ways. The regular ones just taste either like nothing or plastic. They lack the nutrients to create a flavor.

You will also need a cup of lightly flavored oil. A strong one will work but the taste will overwhelm you. Don’t worry. You will train your brain in time. I chose the lemon olive one from Trader Joe’s and it is scrumtiousgasming.

Finally you will need the juice of half a lime or lemon. Mostly you will need an immersion blender. This is not a purchase you will regret my dears and if you do I welcome complaints.

First search for a container that barely fits the head of your immersion blender. A glass jar generally works. I, personally, could not find a container big enough to fit the head. I accidentally got a big one. I then used my French press to fit it.

Go ahead and lay out all of your ingredients on a cutting board outside:

Mayo Ingredients
Mayo Ingredients

Then, bring them back inside and crack your egg into the container. Realize that you need to take the French Press back outside for another photo. Then squeeze out the juice of half a lime or lemon. Now this squeezing thing. Called. Something. I think just lemon squeezer. Is also incredibly useful. It squeezes the juice and keeps the seeds. What more could one desire?

Don't worry about the dirty boards. No one will notice.
Don’t worry about the dirty boards. No one will notice.

Then you’ll  go back inside and pour in the oil.
Mayo Ingredients Ready To Whirl Captain

Let the egg droop down to the bottom and then stick the head of your immersion blender in. Plug it in first. Then press the blade spinning button and let it sit there for twenty seconds without moving it. Don’t worry. It is working away down there.
Getting Creamy Mam

Your mayo will begin to form into a delicious white.

Getting Creamy Mam

Finally you will have mayo.

Pour into a glass jar or Martini glass to serve.

Flower Raised Mayo
Clean out your immersion blender right away.

Electric Ingredients:

Immersion Blender

Glass Ingredients:

Jar

Food Ingredients:

One egg

One cup of a lightly flavored oil

1/2 the juice of a lime or lemon

Flowers to raise it all with

Directions

Put food ingredients into glass ingredient. Let the egg droop to the bottom. Stick head of immersion blender into jar and let it immerse for twenty seconds. Move up and down to fully form mayo.

Pour into margini glass and dip daikon radish fries in.

It’s deliciously whipped fat. Add whatever else your mouth desires.Many humans use garlic.

Macros: Total Fat 8.6 g, Total Carb: 1g, Protein: .3g