Tag Archives: vegan

Savory Chocolate Brussels

I used to flip dairy fairy cartwheels out when my favorite food bloggers would go days without posting. I’d not know what to eat so I spurted milk from my body to live on. Some of it made it into a glass.

I would say you should just stop listening but this is typed so you’d just have to stop reading when I get awkward with words.

I wouldn’t understand where my food bloggers had gone. How could my food mothers and other goddesses just leave me? I’d feel completely lost and just simper over to the stove to make bacon and eggs.  Then I would feel happy because bacon and eggs is always delicious.

Without their recipes to guide me I had no idea how to cook and I was even scared to do so. There were too many spice combinations I didn’t understand. What if there were carbs hiding in the spinach? Little carbs may have jumped out of the oranges, turned micro, and restructured the leaves. I didn’t know.

That was at the point where I was counting carbs and looking at food as equations rather than simply as food.

At first the body does need to relearn its intuitive knowledge of how to take care of itself. When first starting on keto I was still a sugar ravishing human that weighted 110 pounds and thus thought I was healthy. I had to rewire my brain’s pathways to accept that sugar was a drug. It turns out that drug keeps your body from knowing when your body is full. Your body thinks of the most vivid resource when hungry and sugar is one of the most vivid of all. My mouth dripped for chocolate at every thought of it and I’d eat without a stop once it made its way in.

I’d adapted to the point I did have the full feeling, but I’d eat sugar without being able to stop. Keto cured me of that by detoxing out the sugar and returning my body to itself. In a few weeks I’d finally reached a point of true food gauging. My body spoke to me about everything it desired. There was no fear impulse to scarf down a Crunchwrap Supreme or an uncontrollable urge to drink down a tub of ice cream after I let it melt a few hours and then topped it with Butterfingers. After being off sugar for months candy actually started to look like toys that I couldn’t understand as food. Why were people eating the toys in their Happy Meals? I’d realize quick but it still felt odd to watch.

I’ve fallen in and out of keto a lot the last couple of months. I’ve been writing in Marfa and been in a film festival in Sedona, so food was given to me often and I was broke so I just let it slip. Sedona was incredible and they fed us everyday as part of the VIP experience. I was in a film that was submitted and got in. The nurturing and wisdom that came from the town even inspired me to write them a letter called To the Sedars, The Sedona Counsel of Elders. I still need to hand write it on a scroll for them.

It hasn’t been horrid. It felt like cheating but with a very sexy donut. I didn’t slip that far, but I did find the most succulent chocolate molded into soft lumps with sparkling cayenne gently fondling their flavor. Oh my god these truffles were so rich and creamy and mmm I’m lost in the memory every time I touch it.  The oddest mind moments occurred when I would have sugar and then want to eat everything in edible sight. The toys became food again. I still keep caving to chocolate, and yesterday I even went too far in chocolate and wound up eating lots of chips too. Sigh. I’d only had an avocado, cheese, bacon and cabbage up to that point and was in full control. Then one bite of chocolate and I actually watched as my eyes turned everything to food that minutes before I hadn’t craved at all.

Today I’ve only had water and I’ll kill the cravings with green tea throughout the day’s hours. I want keto back like a drug addict knowing their cure.

Beginnings.jpg

Since typing that I finally found coconut oil and cocoa. Before this moment I had been craving chocolate and thought it was just for the sugar, but then realized I haven’t had red meat in days so I could be feeling cravings for the magnesium and iron. After the pure combo of cocoa and coconut oil touched my mouth an hour ago, and I felt my mouth melt to the taste, I now that was it. That prefrontal cortex song of nutrients soared through my brain like that first bite of steak. It tasted even better than tiny chocolate bars. Ha. Puny cocoa moments. I thought of them after and my brain laughed. The cravings were gone.

Moving.jpg

While in Marfa I did create a dish I can have forever in life, regardless of any restrictions I dare place on my mouth. I got high one night and had this block of pure cocoa. I also had just taken a small scoop of coconut into my hands and rubbed it into my cast iron, fully pushing it into the iron and soaking myself in the moment of my hands and oil meeting my favored cooking tool.

I then saw the bar of pure brown and picked it up, tried to eat off a chunk and realized it was too hard. My eyes cast themselves about the room and saw my heated iron just begging to be used. I turned up the heat and pushed the cocoa bar into the oil until it met the iron. It slowly melted in. The brown seeped into the pan and coated the black with melted chocolate. I was lost in it and just let it melt as I rubbed the bar deeper and deeper in as the bar got smaller and smaller in my hands while the chocolate poured off.  I held the bar with my right hand and my left finger nuzzled itself into the pan and scooped the chocolate into my mouth. Oh my savory bliss of earthenly pleasure. My eyes would not stay open in order to fully absorb themselves into the taste with me.

 

At first my mind yelled that it would be hard to get out and said I shouldn’t use the whole thing! Thoughts melted away, unable to penetrate the flavor the oil and chocolate were making.

Butter Cocoa.jpg

Time lost itself as I let the bar melt all the way in and got a spoon. I dashed salt on top and just stood there, body leaned in with elbows on the counter as I spooned bite by bite into my mouth. I was still in full control as the pleasure melted into my senses and I got lost in pure chocolate. Then I paused and decided to get Brussels in on this. I opened the fridge and pulled out the tiny green leaves bunched into a shell, carved them open and then in fourths and placed them in the melted chocolate. I heated them over medium high and watched them turn crispy in the cocoa, pushing them about the pan as they told me what to do.

Push Me.jpg

Crispy Brussels leaves soaked in chocolate is such a delicious crunching seduction. Sprinkle salt on top and you have all your senses could want.

Oh and the cocoa comes right out. My cast iron was more clean after it than before. If any sticks just add more oil and fry things in it. I left some in the pan and fried an egg on top of it the next morning. It was so flipping eggwheels good.

Cocoa Egg

 

Cocoa Buttered Brussels

Final Chocolate Coated Brussels.jpg

Ingredients:

Brussels Sprouts

1/4 Bar of cocoa (or 2 T of cocoa powder)

About 2 Tablespoons Coconut oil (or butter)

Directions:

Melt chocolate into cast iron by either adding coconut oil to the pan and melting your cocoa paste into it, or adding butter to the pan with cocoa powder.

Chop the Brussels into quarters and fry them in the chocolate, pushing them around occasionally with hands or a spoon, for about six minutes. Try them randomly to see how cooked you like them, Brussels need to be crispy with a barely soft inside, but that’s just my preference.

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Cocobutter Clove Cookies

The bitter burst of winter clove is tamed into a bursting warmth of earth flavor in these coconut butter, pumpkin and clove cookies. 

I entered a cookie swap this year as a way to insert this little blog into the world. It is growing up and I think it is time for a coming out shindig with clove dresses and cookie hair pieces. There would be top hats with an extra brim in the form of a bowl that you could go around with while party people snatched up cookies at their mouth’s desire. 

You might think in your sprog that a little low carb and paleo human could not be part of a cookie swap, but it worked out super well. I was sent delicious almond cookies, ginger snap cookies, and some other cookies that accidentally fell to the ground after my roomies dogs figured out how to knock them from the table. 

Cocobutter Pumpkin Cookies

I can’t wait for the day where food has no labels but for being food. I can add so many diet labels to these when in reality all they are is coconut butter and pumpkin sweetly molded together with a burst of clove. So simple and yet so bold.

When only going for the qualitiest of ingredients one must learn how to be simple with recipes.

Even adding salt can flow out the pennies from your wallet, but when every ingredient is delicious you also get the best flavors. There is no compensation or need to hide any ingredient. Instead you can feature the ingredients and let them burst into yours and your guest’s mouths.

Coconut butter is a newer trend and is still costing a pretty penny to purchase, but making your own is super easy if you have time and a food processor or blender. You could also use a nut butter for these if you don’t feel like venturing into the delicious land of the coconut. Coconut lends a delicious level of sweet that is so natural you’ll want to turn into a cavewoman. There is no point to adding sweetener when you have the coconut. If you’re scared to venture out then you can go ahead and add the coconut sugar or honey, but I suggest trying them without it and sprinkling some on top if you change your mind. That way you get to try them without the sweetener but can still safely add some if you change your mind.

These cookies are also low carb, vegan, egg free, vegetarian, paleo, AIP friendly, Paleo friendly, gluten free, grain free, sugar free, nut free, and fodmap friendly. Serve these up at any party without fear, just don’t forget the brimming cookie top hats. 

 

Yield: 2 Dozen Cookies

Ingredients:

Cocobutter Cookies Ingredients.jpg

1 Cup Coconut Butter (DIY)

1/2 Cup Pumpkin Puree (DIY)

2 Teaspoons Cloves, Crushed into Tiny Bits (or pre-ground cloves)

Whole Cloves (1-2 per Cookie)

2 Tablespoons Coconut Sugar or Honey (optional)

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees for a slow bake or 350 for a quickie.
  2. Beat, or use a fork, to combine the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  3. Crush fresh cloves in a mortar and pestle into coarsely ground.
  4. Beat together the cloves and coconut sugar with the cocobutter and pumpkin.
  5. Lay the cookies out on a sheet. Since there are no lifters the size you make the cookies is the size they will turn out.
  6. Bake at 200 for 45-50  minutes or 350 for 12-15 minutes.
  7. Mouthgasm.

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Preheat the oven.
  2. Beat the pumpkin puree and cocobutter together.
  3. Crush the cloves up:

Crushing Cloves

4. Combine all ingredients and then lay the cookies out onto a baking sheet:

Cookies on pan MLM

5. Press one or a couple of cloves into each cookie:

Cloved Cookie Sheet.jpg

 

 

 

Cocobutter Clove Cookies

Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

Final Slow Cooker Spiced Pear Cider

In ‘making this recipe up land’ I’ve discovered that throwing random fall spices into a slow cooker for cider feels the same as imagining out spices for baking. In your mind the flavors fuse together as you toss them into the bowl, and you can just taste the future flavors ahead. Eventually, after you experiment and come to know these slow cooker cider recipes, you can make ones that revolve around your mouth’s desires, especially if you’re like me and love tons of cinnamon in your drink (benefits of the single life do include having everything taste the way only you want, without having to care about others’ mouths).

I have  a confession you can’t tell the other white ladies. I’ve grown a bit weary of the pumpkin spice. It has been used in the slow cooker apple cider, and the cookie pumpkin dough, the pumpkin spice ketchup

 

Since time is rolling into the holidays I decided to use up the last of the spices in my little bags and see what nature could fondle together with some pears, anise, cloves, cinnamon, and why not some garam masala?

My mouth is so glad this concoction was fused together.

Pear Cider

All of the spicy sweetness you could want comes through with each sip, and you get a little twist for a holiday drink that will make all of your guests feel they’ve stepped into the great hall for a feast. If you all wear your house scarves and serve this with pumpkin pasties (coming soon 😉 , then call me so I can join.

If you want to be more traditional then you can definitely stick with the spices in the slow cooker apple cider and just substitute out the apples for pears.

Rawr

I personally prefer the pears now because they have a more seductive and deep taste that goes well with fall spices, but I’ve honestly always preferred pears to apples.

This cider is so inspiringly delicious I’ve already made a cocomilk pear spiced latte, pear spiced brownies…I totally left the oven on. Woops *texts roomy to please turn off oven*. Woot technology and slow baking(I’ve been baking at low temps lately for thorough heating and close to god level deliciousness). 

Pear cider cocomilk

Soon there will be a pear spiced cake. Keep your mouths watering. 

Pear Cider Ingredients

Ingredients:

4-5 Pears (I used bosc pears)

1 Tablespoon Whole Anise

2 Teaspoons Whole Cloves

3 Cinnamon Sticks

1 Tsp Garam Masala Powder

7-9 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

 

 

Visual Tutorial

  1. Compile all of your spices and pears together:

Pear Cider Ingredients

2.   Chop your pears into quarters:

Chopped Pears

3.  Put the pears into the slow cooker and fill up with water:

Into the Pot

 

4.  Dump all of your spices into a nut bag or directly into the slow cooker (to be strained out later:

IMG_20151123_192527

5.   Cook on low for six hours or high for three hours

6.   On the last hour smash the pears against the side of your slow cooker.

7.   Take out the spice bag or strain through a colander over a large pot.

8.   To serve simply warm in the slow cooker and serve to overjoyed guests.

Serve

Cocomilk (Coconut Milk) Recipe and Guide

Cocomilk Final

If you are looking for the freshest tasting coconut milk bliss then you have come to the right words. I’ve scoured the Internet cookbook, (basically food blogs) and realized there is a need for another coconut milk tutorial. When making a blog post I try to keep with ideas that are new and contribute to the world of food, rather than retell food stories that are already on the Internet or in books, and honestly there are a lot of coconut milk tutorials already all over the Internet’s pages.

 There are many cocomilk tutorials that get the basics down, but I have a few personal tips and tricks that will be valuable to your coconut milk making experience.

1.   Coconut Flake Size Matters

2.   Use Just Beneath Scalding Water (110 degrees is optimal)

3.   If You Use This Milk In Recipes Be Sure to Use the Cream

4. Vanilla Changes Everything

5.   Drink or Bake with Within Three to Four Days

6.  Use the Coconut Pulp

7.  Use a Wide Mouth Container for Storage

Raw Cocomilk

1.   The first tip is that the size of the coconut flakes matters. Obviously tiny shredded coconuts will be packed into a cup and have more coconut volume than large flakes, but I didn’t realize this until making coconut milk with the same ratio of large coconut flakes to small flakes. The result was a pretty watery milk that didn’t compare to the full on mouth bliss I’d come to know. My mouth already knew what full tasting coconut milk was, and thus could not be deceived by this coconut watery perpetrator of mouth lies.

Measuring the coconut out into grams would be an excellent way to get the right ratio for this milk, but I do not have a scale and I’m sure a lot of others don’t either. So cups it is (to be updated in the future with grams once I get a scale).

2.   You definitely want to use warm water when you make the milk because room temperature water causes the cream to stick to the edges of your blender. If you do use room temp water by accident then just use a plastic thingy to scrape out the coconut cream and add it to your cream or just eat it as is.

3.  When using this milk you really want the fullness of the flavor to come through.  The delicious fat of the milk solidifies to the top of your milk when it gets cold and forms a layer on the top. To get to the milk I just poke a hole through the cream, pour out the milk, and then add some of the cream.

4.   You can easily add other extracts, but vanilla harmonizes with coconut like a melody of a goddess.

5.   You will easily be able to smell when this milk goes sour, and it happens really quickly. This also means the flavor is incredibly fresh tasting if you consume it in time, and it will be hard not to anyways 😉

6.  I let my bag hang outside overnight and turn it into cocopulp crackers, or just use it for texture in fat bombs. There are tons of other uses for it though, such as the ones found in this word.

7.  I save up old containers and use them to store my coconut milk, apple cider or kombucha. The old Trader Joe’s jar is actually perfect for this. Use glass containers for warm liquids, but plastic is fine once they are room temperature or cold.

 

 

Ingredients:

Ingredients

1.5 – 2 Cups Shredded Unsweetened Coconut

or

3-3.5  Cups Large Flaked Unsweetened Coconut

4 Cups Barely Scalding Water/ 110 Degrees F (If boiling it could explode out of the blender)

Cheesecloth or Nut Milk Bag (I use this hemp one)

Raw Cocomilk 2

Directions:

  1. Combine your coconut and water in a high speed blender.
  2. Blend on high for a few minutes.
  3. Strain the milk through a nut milk bag (found here), or cheesecloth.
  4. If making more milk put the pulp back in your blender, add more coconut and repeat.
  5. Dry out your cocopulp by hanging the bag outside and either make coconut flour or use the pulp for texture.
  6. Drink within 3-4 days.

 

Expanded 7.

Use Me Bottles

In the fridge your coconut milk will separate and make a cream. You can whip this up for coconut whipped cream, or just add the cream into your morning warm cocomilk. (I do this a lot and just add a dash of vanilla for flavor).

Large Jar

If you use an old bottle with a short mouth the cocomilk winds up hardening and you have to either stab into the bottle with a long knife or heat up the bottle in water on the stove. I do this if I’ve run out of jars. 

Small Bottle

 

Happy cocomilking.

When finished put on fuzzy socks and go take pictures of your epicness outside.

Fuzzy

Tigernut Cereal (Sweetner Free, Low Carb and Paleo)

Raw Eating

Are you ready for adult cinnamon toast crunch?

People generally think cutting entire foods out of staple meals is so scary that all staples no longer fit into your red stapler body and it’s going to burn down. (Office Space reference, if you have not watched it then you have the Internet and thus no excuse not to. You can even leave me to go watch it right now…I’ll miss you though). 

For this body, food has never tasted so mouth dripping blissful. I love the way food feels and tastes going in me, and the energy it gives me throughout the entire day to connect to life in. 

My body no longer has dairy, fruits (except for bursting berries of mouth pleasure, lemons, and lychees), root veggies, sweeteners or most carbs. If you had told the high school energy drink’s laced in sour patch kids Ainsley what she would grow into she would have sprayed you with her specialty sour spray mix (it was marinaded in warheads).

If you meet me back then go ahead and say future me created an AIP cereal recipe on her little blog and watch me plotz all over you in excitement (I loved health even then, just didn’t think 3 energy drinks a day was bad if I still had spinach).

Now my throat burns at even the touch of soda but it smiles over organ meats and maca powder. The first time I tried maca powder there was no bitter, the ancient soul of my body knew it and I swear I heard my ancestors dancing and singing through my head. 

Maca Cereal MLM

It took many years to reach this point, and realizing more and more that I want every ingredient that enters me to benefit this mind. The idea of healthy was never gross to me. In fact, with those Monster energy drinks, or if I was feeling classic and cigar minded Red Bull, I would often still eat spinach at the dinner table. At first the stuff was gross, (as it is supposed to be as a bodily defense mechanism against poison) but eventually I favored it to most other foods. My body adapted and accepted every fiber of that green leaf. I also loved eggs, bacon, fruits in high abundance, cottage cheese, sauerkraut, and kale.

AIP Cereal MLM

Now I still eat eggs, bacon, berries, and have just added a much larger range of veggies to my taste bud reservoir.

All of the above words are meant to be encouragement for if you are looking at/wanting to change lifestyles, or have learned that you have to. Despite where you are in your food journey it is possible to change it and feel incredible while doing so, with amazing foods just waiting to be inside you.

Auto Immune Paleo (AIP) is an allergen free approach to the paleo diet and is used to cure chronic illnesses. The ones I care about are of the mind. To cure yourself of malfunctioning connections that lead to ADHD, depression, OCD, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, autism and all of the other mind illnesses there is ‘no cure’ for. All mental disorders actually can be seen, just in the brain, and most have nutrient deficiencies already scientifically linked to them.

Food was the only thing that cured them for me and the mental lack of control comes back every time I cheat.

It cuts out everything your body might be allergic to or is allergic to. This diet would make an incredible elimination diet if you’re looking to see what foods work for you. The elimination diet is a simple concept of cutting out the foods your body might not accept for a week and then bringing ingredients back into you one by one to see how you react. Easy concept but hard to do. Well welcome to AIP. Here is the list of what it cuts out though: From http://www.thepaleomom.com/autoimmunity/the-autoimmune-protocol

 This list is probably the most extensive one I’d ever seen of foods to cross out. Actually keto was probably just as extensive but I’m too used to it to remember now.

Luckily there is a great new flour that is AIP friendly and is splurging out all over the blogger world. Tiger Nut Flour is the newest flour to cross them all. It is actually a root vegetable and is perfect for the primal mind since our East African ancestors used them as a staple part of their diet according to a recent Oxford study. This post is long enough though so if you want to know more about the tiger nuts click here.

My favored thing about the tiger nut is that the nut is so sweet you don’t need to add any sweetener to your recipes. For added sweetness you can simply add more raspberries or blackberries to this delicious cereal. 

To Be Edited By Abbey

The Taste

This cereal is so delciious to the human taste buds that my very picky twin said it was ‘really good’. Yeah. We actually fist bumped after I squeed in delight and she smiled as she chewed it more. Abbey is basically the person that tells me I’ve gone too creative in a recipe. Oddly enough this recipe is among the most creative when it comes to ingredients.

I personally love the stroke of maca into the flavor and the crunch of the cereal is exactly like cinnamon toast crunch pieces. Oh I’ll have to make a cinnamon toast crunch version soon. That and Frosted Flakes used to be my favorite.

Inspired by The Primitive Pallet Hazelnut Mocha Cereal:

dsc_0537

Ingredients for Tigernut Flour Cereal

1/2 Cup Goldeen Flax Seed Meal

1/4 Cup Tigernut Flour (?)

1/4 Cup Hemp Seeds (?)

2 Tablespoons Maca Powder (?)

1 Tablespoon Ceylon Cinnamon (?)

1/2 Cup Full Fat Coconut Milk (Make your Own)

1/4 Tsp Vanilla

1 Tablespoon Coconut Oil (melted)

Best served with coconut milk <(^_^)>

AIP Cereal MLM

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 200 for a slow bake or 300 for a quickie…ish. (30 minutes baking vs 1 hr 20 minutes for longer bake. I prefer the long bake for consistent heating).
  2. Combine the dry ingredients into your food processor and pulse a few times.
  3. Add the wet ingredients: vanilla, melted coconut oil and coconut milk. Process until a dough forms, scraping down the sides when needed.
  4. Spread the batter out across a silipat baking sheet. The longer the dough sits the firmer it gets. I used coconut oil to spread it out evenly with no holes and as thins as you can get it.
  5. Bake for 1 hour and 20 minutes at 200 or bake at 300 for 15 minutes then drop the temp to 250 and bake another 15 minutes.
  6. Take cereal out of the oven and cut into bite size pieces. A pizza cutter works perfect. I used a sharp large knife because I don’t have a pizza cutter.
  7. If any of the pieces are still poofy and don’t automatically break with pressure, bake them again at five minute and keep on checking every five minutes after (you don’t want to burn them).
  8. Turn off the oven and put the pan back in for 1-1.5 hours for maximum crispiness.
  9. Let cool (takes about ten seconds of blowing right out of the oven) before eating.

Visual Tutorial

Pulse your dry ingredients together in a food processor. Add the wet ingredients and pulse until it turns into a batter, scraping down the sides once or twice. Spread the batter onto a silipat with as few holes as possible:

Spread the Batter

Use oil if it begins to stick to your hands:

Oil to cereal time

Bake at 200 for 1 hour and 30 minutes or at 350 for blank

Remove from oven and cut into shapes (a pizza cutter works wonders but I just used a sharp large knife.

Cut Cereal Shapes

Stick the cereal back in the oven and turn it off so they completely dry out. This takes about 1-1.5 hours.

Once dry make all of the pieces cereal size with your hands and then put them onto a board and bring them outside:

DSCN0755

Let Nodame sniff but not eat, she is not human:

Nodame

Maca Cereal MLM

Nutrition Breakdown per 3/4 Cup

Tigernut Cereal (6 Net Carbs Per Serving)

Calories: 222.2

Total Fat: 17.6 g

Potassium: 159 mg

Total Carb: 13.3 g

Dietary Fiber: 7.2 g

Sugars: 3.3 g

Protein: 6.5 g

DV: Vitamin C 3%, Vitamin B-6 5%, Vitamin E 2%, Calcium 5.2%, Copper: 15%, Folate 5%, Iron: 17.8%, Magnesium 25.5%, Manganese: 2%, Phosphorous: 13.3%, Riboflavin: 2%, Thiamin: 10%, Zing 12%

Hazelnut Cereal (Low Carb/4.2 Net Carbs Per Serving)

Calories: 237.2

Fat: 20.1 Saturated: 8.3 g, Poly 3.3 g, Mono: .5 g

Potassium: 106 mg

Total Carb: 9.5 g

Fiber: 5.3 g

Sugars: 1.6 g

Protein: 7.3 g

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Total Fat:3.5 g

Saturated Fat: 0.5 g

Sodium 210 mg

Total Carb 24 g

Vitamin A, C, and Calcium 10% DV, Iron: 25% DV

Slow Cooker Apple Cider

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My apple cider mouth memories entail campfires and tales of old.

I vividly have a memory of a man cloaked in shadows telling us stories about olden men in spurs galloping across the planes with nothing but grits and hardened cow meat. They rode horses into battle and  streamed alpha water across the lands they conquered (think about it). He was a prop at the Christmas time of Fredericksburg, Texas, but I soaked up the memory as a happy one nonetheless. We sang carols on the bus rides to and from the little tour, and then would go to a light walk that had a little hut with elves and Santa. The first two or so years we snuggled into Santa’s lap and told him of our gift wishes. Then when we no longer wanted to sit in an old bearded man’s lap when year three came.

The best memories of these Christmas trips, and the most vivid, are of the campfire.

Cider Staring

Not because of the stories but because at the end we would get apple cider and cookies. I remember wishing he’d speed up the story just so I could cling to that warm cup of cider while my body shivered at the cold until the warmth flooded through me. The cider was sweet cinnamon with apple tastes and the cookies were also warm and served by an older grandma looking lady. I let her adopt me as a grandchild and we whisked off to cider land. I came back just to share this recipe though…kind of. Actually that wasn’t true at all. Also Santa might not be real.

Now that I’m old enough to create my own cider and bring it to upcoming Halloween and Christmas parties I want to have a cider that sticks in friend’s and families minds just the same.

The largest fulfillment a human can have from creating for people is when it also nourishes those you love. This apple cider is controlled by you and thus free of anything to be scared of. Unless of course you want a Halloween version. Then you could use some as the liquid in a Halloween cake. I’m working on a slow cooker apple cider cake soon 😉

Currently all the friend’s I’ve shared this warm liquid love with have also tried to get me to adopt them. That also isn’t true, but I’m sure it’s because I’m not old enough to look like a grandma yet. When I do though I’ll set up campfires and serve this cider with almond butter cookies.

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Ingredients:

Slow Cooker Apple Cider Ingredients MLM

3 Cinnamon Sticks (See notes)

6-8 Apples (See recipe notes)

1 Whole Nutmeg

1/2 Teaspoon Sliced Ginger (Optional)

1 Teaspoons Cloves

1/2 Teaspoon Whole Allspice (Optional)

6-8 Cups Fresh Filtered Water (Quality Matters)

Directions:

  1. Rinse your apples clean.
  2. Chop up your apples into fourths. Since they’ll be strained out you don’t need to deseed or destem them.
  3. Put in all of your spices into a nut bag or tied up cheese cloth. You can also just toss them in and strain them out later.
  4. Cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. Go for the low if you can for maximum spice infusion.
  5. One hour before finished use a hammer or solid object to smash the apples against the side of your slow cooker.
  6. Wait for the slow cooker to cool (or use oven mitts) and strain out the spices by ladling them out through a cheesecloth or even using a colander set over a large pot. I’ve also used a tea pot by ladling it into the tea strainer and working in batches.
  7. Store in the fridge or on the counter (mine has been on the counter at least a week).

Shhhh My Cider

Fantastic Pairings:

Serve with:

A Cinnamon stick

Gin (My Favorite)

Bourbon

Whiskey

Vodka

Turn into a Cake

Notes:

Types of Apples:

You can use red apples for a mild flavor or green ones for a more tart flavor. I used a mixture but think a pure form would do really well. Will report back.

Cinnamon:

2 sticks will also work, especially if you plan to serve it with a stick of cinnamon. I just really love for the cinnamon to be brought out.

P.S. You can hide with the cider and I won’t judge you for drinking it all.

Hidden Cider 2

Visual Tutorial

Add Spices and Apples to your Slow Cooker (or put them into a nut bag)

Apples and Spices

Fill with Water (use feet to tilt the slow cooker for better lighting)

Apples and Water MLM

Slow Cook on Low for 7 Hours of High for Four Hours

An Hour Before Finished Smash Apples into the Side

Thor Apple Smash MLM

Slow COoker Apple Cider Mind Lifting Mouthgasms

Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup : Paleo and Low Carb

At this point I fear everything in a can but coconut milk, and I’m just avoiding that thought. There’s even three coconut milk DIY recipes stored in my head, but the first recipe I attempted chugged up the coconut shreds to the top of the blender. I thought I messed up and just stored the concoction in my fridge to be resumed later.

Later turned to a week later and by then it was sour to the immediate realization of my nose upon opening the bottle. My defiant mouth tried anyway and spat it out. I recently learned it lasts for about three days and you’re supposed to strain out the shreds of coconut. With this confession you’ve been my priest and I can be cleansed of coconut sins. Thank you. I shall resume coconut milk making once the last three cans have been used.

When it comes to ketchup I not only fear the bottled Heinz version, but also fear the cans of paste required in most recipes. I’ve already made an heirloom marinara, can free, but I recently wondered if ketchup was possible too. If it just involved the same concept of simmering out the water then of course it was possible. Ketchup is like marinara but you replace the water with vinegar.

Then I found this fabulous recipe and grew very excited. I didn’t female hulk from the bliss, but there was definitely some magic beanstalks forming into lightbulbs. Slow cooker ketchup was already on the Internet and I didn’t have to guess my blissing way into failed attempts. Even more enticing:

This recipe could be so easily turned to fall with pumpkin spice!

What you really want in your mouth is that taste of vinegar fondling tomatoes for hours and hours. Then you reach ultimate tomato vinegar mating bliss ketchup. Cinnamon, allspice, cloves and nutmeg only enhance the earthy essence of tomatoes. All of these spices are packed with nutrients we need to build our immune systems and fight the Fall of sickness away. This ketchup makes amazing meatloaf (recently discovered) and can easily be used for parsnip chips or tofu french fries, avocado fries or mixed into guacamole. Just let your mind run free in ketchup possibility. 

If you run out of time in the day and want to fall asleep after a deep massage with a homemade massage bar, then you can pour the ketchup into a vessel, I used a cake pan, and resume the next morning.

There are several ways to make this mouthblissing ketchup depending on mouth and time desires.

In happy diet news you can serve this to any of your human friends as it is low carb, vegan, vegetarian, paleo, primal, atkins, whole 30, all natural, gluten free, sugar free, nutfree, and dairy free. Phew. Way too many diets to keep up with now. I like to just call it human friendly.

Warped

Ingredients for Slow Cooker Pumpkin Spice Ketchup:

1 TBS Pumpkin Spice

2 Pounds Tomatoes (about five cups)

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

(I used bourbon Apple Cider Vinegar and Red Wine with Delicious Results)

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt

1 Cinnamon Stick (optional)

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

For A Whole Spice Version:

2 Pounds Tomatoes

3/4 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar/Vinegar of Choice

or

1/4 Cup Water to 2/4 Cups Vinegar (if you don’t love that vinegar taste)

Dash Salt
2 Crushed Cinnamon Sticks
1/2 Tsp Cloves
1 Tsp Allspice
1 Crushed Nutmeg 

1 Tbs Bourbon (optional)

 
 
Directions:
 
 (If you have time to blend the tomatoes after one hour for spices to really seep in):
 
1. Chop up tomatoes and drop into your slow cooker with the salt.
2. Cook tomatoes on high for one hour and then immersion blend the tomatoes. This can splatter so either do this shirtless or wear an apron and use the Low setting.
or
Alternate 2. Skip immersion blending and just add all ingredients to the slow cooker and proceed to step 3.
3. Add the spices by putting all but the cinnamon and nutmeg into a nut bag or cheesecloth tied into a bag, and add them to the slow cooker.
4.  Cover with vinegar and make sure bag is covered by the tomatoes.
5. Add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
6.  Cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off.
 
7.  Remove spices and leave chunky or blend in batches for smoother ketchup.
Visual Tutorial:
Chop up the tomatoes.

Add tomatoes to the slow cooker with the dash of salt.
After one hour on high heat immersion blend the tomatoes.
Put the all spices, but for the cinnamon and nutmeg, into a nutbag or tied up cheesecloth.
Add the bag, then add the cinnamon and nutmeg.
Cook on low with the lid off for 6-8 hours.

Blend into ketchup or store as is after removing spices.
Alternate Directions:
 

 
 
(Just add all to the slow cooker and blend at the end)
 
 
 
1.  Chop up tomatoes and add to slow cooker.
2.  Coat with a tablespoon of pumpkin spice and dash of salt.
3.  After one hour: blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick
or
Alternate 3.  Add the vinegar and cinnamon stick and cook on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off. (Skip the immersion blending)
4.  Unplug the slow cooker and let cool until no longer hot to the touch.
5.  Blend the mixture in batches for a less chunky version and store in the fridge.
Visual Tutorial
 
Add tomatoes to the slow cooker:

Add spices and after one hour immersion blend the tomatoes and add the cinnamon stick.

Store as is after slow cooking on low for 6-8 hours with the lid off or blend.

For Abbeast